helpp

hi everyone! how do you folks handle showering/being in new places/not knowing how clean something is? i really struggle with trying to focus on something when i am unsure if it is clean because i end up obsessing on it and trying to fix it.

Had a shower this morning, and while I was drying off I had one of those muscle spasms that I get a lot, the ones where brain goes, "omg did we just pee?", the ones where... nothing ever happened. Always dry, and I do check, probably too much. I told myself, "no, it's fine," and continued. Patted down that area with the towel a few times, smelling in between. The first couple times, nothing, just towel smell. The third time was different, not necessarily pee smell, but brain is confused. So now I am afraid I am contaminated all over my body with "pee germs," or "pee," and I am afraid to leave my bed lest I contaminate the house too. I don't really think I leaked anything after my shower, but the fear is real... and potential shame of "knowing" those kinds of germs will be on furniture, my mother, and potential guests... and that I was just too lazy/scuzzy/etc to shower again. I am getting so tired of this. The thing is I don't genuinely know if there's a problem so I don't know what action to take. If I shower again, the next time I have those spasms while drying off--which will probably happen the very next shower--it will start this cycle again. Not to mention "is the towel contaminated..." This happened last night too but I moved on, thinking "I'm dry and wearing clothes, it's fine. It was probably just water." I lysol'd the downstairs/my couch (avoided sitting on the "main" couch, which belongs to mom) and other stuff when I got home from work last night, so now brain thinks it's legit... I feel like I should just bite the bullet and not shower. But I'm scared and TOO OLD FOR THIS NONSENSE.

i was just looking in the fridge and there was some raw meat in a container but i didn’t know that it was meat so i opened the container to check what it was. and i don’t know if it was blood or if they were marinating it but a little bit of it got on my fingers and i wiped my hand on my clothes without thinking and then i just rinsed my hand in the sink, and thought it would be fine cause i only touched the container and i also wasn’t really sure if it was meat or not yet because i didn’t get a good look at it and i just kept doing what i was doing, but then i kept thinking about it and started realizing it wasn’t fine and went to wash my hands with soap and i didn’t know if i needed to change my clothes or not so i thought it was fine too and laid in my bed and stuff and now i realized that i should’ve changed my clothes and i did but now the bacteria could be on my bed and other places and i don’t remember everywhere i touched and i can’t think straight and im too scared to leave my room and wash everything in case of spreading it more and my dad and brother are drinking so they’re not gonna listen to me if i said to wipe everything out there and im just freaking out. i feel horrible for being so careless and i’m really scared that my pets and dad and brother will get sick because of me