Emetophobia

Sometimes I feel like nobody really gets me. Nobody knows what’s going on in my head. I try to explain in vivid detail, but my ocd immediately reads the other persons face and registers that they don’t get it. It’s a very isolating experience. Anyone else have something like this?

hi im a fifteen year old girl with really bad ocd and emetaphobia nobody knows my fear except for my best friend and my sister. its so hard to even say the word or even type the word so i just say “sick” even typing this out makes my heart race and my hands sweaty. ive been really struggling with ocd for almost a year its gotten worst about every month. its always on my mind. i have a therapist but i cant even tell them about my anxiety and thoughts that go on in my head. my whole family is watching me fall deeper and deeper into this dark whole that i dont know how to get out of. its feels awful to see everyone around you watch you fail over and over again. please forgive me if this was graphic thank you

So I’m severely emetophobic but these past few weeks have gotten SO bad. I had a bad reaction to an SSRI that made me feel like I was gonna throwup, I stopped taking them over two weeks ago but ever since then the fear has got even worse. I haven’t left the house properly in weeks because I’ve convinced myself I’ll be sick. I feel nauseous even indoors a lot of the time (there are hours when I don’t, like for example this afternoon I was fine). But I challenged myself to go for a short walk this evening and omg it was so hard I really thought I might throwup. The thing is I KNOW it’s anxiety and not real nausea because it feels completely different to when I was actually nauseous from the medication. This feeling is more like a tight throat/sensation of a lump in my throat that makes me feel like I’m gonna gag. I also have RCPD (I can’t burp basically lol) so I just feel like I have trapped air in my throat that’s gonna make me puke. The phobia has gotten really really bad. I have started therapy recently but I’ve been scared of throwing up since I was a kid and I’m now 31 lol wtf. I remember last Christmas my mum said someone at her work had been sick and I was so scared my mum had caught it and would pass it on to me that I refused to leave my bedroom without wearing gloves and a mask and wiping everything with anti-germ wipes. But right now it’s so so bad because I have literally gotten to the point where I’ve convinced myself I feel nauseous pretty much 24/7 and I am taking anti-nausea meds almost every day. Has anyone else dealt with/has tips for this??? I’m literally desperate 😭