HELP

Does anyone else feel like they think these horrible things on there own or on purpose. I feel like I'm intentionally trying to hurt god and the holy Spirit now and idk what to do. I feel like I'm becoming my worst fear. Idk what to do I feel like I'm losing touch with myself and idk what to do. And I'm really worried God is going to turn his face from me or I'm going to do something I am going to regret. I'm not really sure whats happening to me, but I'm scared I'm going crazy.

Username: Jesuslover28Jesuslover28

Date posted: 9w ago

If anybody wants to give me advice, I keep getting thoughts that say "God is evil" And idk were those thoughts come from, and idk why those thoughts seem to bring me joy and I'm really freaking out because I never had thoughts like that before and idk what to do. I feel like I'm turning into a totally different person.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 9w ago

@Jesuslover28 i feel like you need to rebuke out loud then prayer you need to stay connected with God during this journey. our thoughts are always the opposite of who we are with ocd. don’t let it take control bc you have self control even if the ocd tries to say otherwise. Jesus loves you and you’ve got this

Username: Jesuslover28Jesuslover28

Date posted: 9w ago

@Anonymous - But why does it feel like I like these thoughts and that I truly believe them what if I act on them, I feel like I might and that I'm gonna regret my choice, or that something is wrong with my heart.

Username: Waging War Against OCDWaging War A...

Date posted: 8w ago

Hi! Glad to see you on here again.....sorry I can't help you one on one as I mentioned earlier. So you are sounding like me before I hit rock bottom. I'm not sure you got my book....but for me it was the point where I was so turned around in my head that I thought it was a sin for me to pray. What helped were a few things: First was my mom was able to be a spring board....I had someone trustworthy I could tell my thoughts to, so when she told me they were not logical and not to worry about them, it made me feel better. Second, was seeing a Christian therapist. I went on zoloft and also started something called neurofeedback. Neurofeedback isn't very well advertised, and my understanding is that it doesn't work on everyone. If you are at a point where you can't afford a therapist, you can likely go to your primary care physician and get meds from them. I went on Zoloft, although there are several SSRIs that help. And if you can't do that, then - and I say this non-jokingly - exercise! For some reason, getting the heart rate up for 25-30 minutes at least like twice a week really helps me....and I've heard it is commonly encouraged for those with OCD. My rock bottom was 6 months after college. I was playing about 3 hours of basketball 6 times a week, and then abruptly went from that to a desk job where I was working out less than 5% of the time. I hope this helps. And remember, you are not your thoughts!!!!! If I haven't recommended yet, get a copy (the most updated english version) of Grace Abounding by John Bunyan. I was so relieved to here the way he described his thoughts - similar to yours and mine...and he ended up being a major hero of the Christian faith....same with Martin Luther who likely also had OCD.

Username: Jesuslover28Jesuslover28

Date posted: 8w ago

Thanks for the reply but since then, I feel like I'm avoiding believeing in God. And I have no strength to keep believeing in Jesus. I mean I want too, but I don't have the strength to keep going. And I get getting thoughts like what if the Bible isn't true or something and Ik it is. But it's so confusing because I think I'm hurting gods feelings. And idk what to do. I'm just really tired and I've been doing a lot of research and PTSD can really affect me like I said I have ADHD so that might not help but another thing that really seemed to hit me was a personality disorder. BPD or APD seems to stand out. (Borderline personality disorder) And (Avoidant personality disorder). Anyways thanks for the response. May God bless u richly 🕊️

Username: Waging War Against OCDWaging War A...

Date posted: 8w ago

@Jesuslover28 - Hi! So thank you for your kind words. Your comment that you don't have enough strength to have faith seems to show that you feel like you have to "do" faith. This is classic OCD, meaning it is taking something that has no burden and puts a burden on it. Faith is trust. It takes no effort to trust....in fact, we trust more when we have no other choice, when we are weak. B/c when we are strong on our own, we feel we can "do" enough. One of my favorite passages in 2 Conrinthians 4-6: And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. Whenever we are too tired, it means we are falling back on the letter of the law. (To be clear, THIS IS NOT RELATED TO SALVATION, IT ONLY IMPACTS HOW WE RELATE TO GOD AS HIS CHILDREN). God doesn't want "effort", so I think your OCD is trying to make you think that effort is what you need to show you have faith. Simply rest. I know that is so much easier said than done, but just rest and know that your faith does not have to "perfect", b/c the one you are placing your faith in is perfect and can and will perfect your faith. I am confident that when we all get to heaven we will laugh at how much we thought we were in control, or how much we needed to do to ensure our faith was real. Faith looks alot more like how a child trusts its loving parents. This is why I think having harsh/absent/abusive parents can make the simplicity of faith harder to live out for us. And of course, PTSD or any other trauma can impact that as well.

Username: Redrose

Date posted: 2y ago

Someone plz talk to me :(

I keep randomly getting scary evil/ demonic images or thoughts in my head. I can’t specifically describe how or what they are but I just feel scared & unsettled I feel like I’m possessed or that a devil is controlling my mind or something! I’m catholic I haven’t really been that religious but I’ve been so scared that I started praying to feel better and I feel like I need to pray to make whatever this is go away. I never believed in possession I’m more of a scientific based person however I’ve reached the point where my beliefs aren’t firm anymore I feel scared I don’t know what to believe it’s like I’m slowly believing my mind is being controlled I’m scared :( is something severely wrong with me? Is possession / devils real? Do I have a severe mental illness am I going crazy / developing psychosis or becoming delusional?? :(

Username: Neko_Mancer

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 38w ago

I need help I feel like I’m gonna lose control

I’m so scared I don’t even know if this is OCD at this point. I keep having horrible intrusive thoughts on acting upon my worst fear and the feelings and thoughts are so strong and intense I’m genuinely convinced I might lose control and do something horrible. It feels to real and it’s so constant that I don’t trust myself at all. There are times where it even feels relieving to think about doing something horrible even though it’s the opposite of what I want so feeling like that is so confusing and it’s convincing me I’ve become my worst fear. I’ve been trying everything to avoid anything that brings these thoughts and feelings up because I’m just so scared I’m going to snap and do something horrible. I have therapy soon and I’m really glad about that but I’m scared to tell this to my therapist because I don’t know what’s going to happen. I just need to know I’m not the only one who experiences this because I feel like I’ve just gone crazy at this point. I’m so scared that this isn’t OCD.

Username: Kaila Conque...

Date posted: 14w ago

I feel awful! I’m panicking.

I just need help. I’m in a spiral right now! I feel like I offended God with an intrusive thought. I’m scared. I know it’s not rational. My brain is making me think it’s me, but I don’t want to think that way. I’m scared.

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