PLEASE HELP
I feel like I'm fucking crazy. It literally feels like my ocd has a plan to hurt people like overtime my mind has made a plan and I was already questioning myself because I'm doing erp. I don't want to hurt people but my mind literally feels like its fully ready to do something. I can't do this.
OCD tends to do this! I completely get it! It feels like OCD is urging you to do something terrible. It feels like you are being pushed and controlled by OCD to want to do something terrible! I can tell you one thing. It is an ILLUSION. Those of us with OCD can experience obsessions in the form of images, thoughts, urges, sensations, memories, feelings, and the list goes on and on. The thing is, OCD is tricky and can present itself in multiple different forms. When we have been arguing with our thoughts or trying to fight with them for a while, it only makes them more intense and frequent. This can also lead to them feeling more like urges due to a phenomenon called “anxious thinking”. When we get anxious, our brain can find it difficult to understand the contrast between THOUGHTS and ACTIONS. Your mind might make you believe that you are ‘ready to do somethting’, but honestly, it is just another way of OCD tricking you. OCD will do whatever it can to keep you in the cycle! It’s your job to understand that, and you can just say something to yourself such as: “I see you OCD. I know this is another one of your tricks. I am not falling for it 💪😎” Keep going with the ERP! It is honestly the best treatment for OCD, and with consistency, you will start to feel more and more confident!
So feeling this today. I was in the doctors office and I got a scary thought that said maybe I should just kill someone in here. Obviously I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone, but the thoughts began to overtake me and I had a panic attack. It’s still bothering me and I’m still scared it’s real that I’m going crazy
(PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING!) Hey guys, right now I’m having suicidal OCD and it’s really fucking scaring me because I know I want to live but it’s feeling like I’m going to end my life any second or any day now and that I’m going to die soon, and I’m afraid that I’m going to come up with a plan and go through with it, or say fuck it, I don’t care about recovery, be selfish and just do it. I’m SO scared I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know if these are real suicidal thoughts or just my OCD attacking me and I’m genuinely scared for my life. It’s like every second of the day I get a stupid intrusive suicidal thought and it makes me feel like I’m really suicidal and that I don’t want to live anymore, for ANYTHING positive I hear, I twist it and make it negative and tell myself, you’re going to die soon, or you’re gonna kill yourself anyway, you don’t have a future, you don’t care anymore. I even feel a lil bit down and sad when I get these thoughts and I start to feel depersonalization, I almost feel depressed when I get these thoughts all day and it makes me feel like I’m genuinely gonna get depressed and the suicidal thoughts will become REAL I’m so scared. Even when my parents tell me that I’m going to be ok and not do anything, I tell myself in my mind that I’m still going to go through with suicide and just kill myself. I don’t have a set plan and I’m afraid that I may develop a plan and want to go through with it. IM SCARED FOR MY LIFE! IM SO FUCKING SCARED PLEASE HELP PLEASE! Anyone that has gone through this PLEASE HELP! Going into a hospital won’t help because I’m not ACTUALLY suicidal but these thoughts make me FEEL like I am and it’s just SO confusing I don’t know what’s real and what’s not!!! PLEASE HELP ANYONE!!!! I’m so fucking scared ??
My Harm OCD is out of control. I’m trying so hard to keep living my life, but it’s scaring me even more. It’s starting to feel more real. It’s feeling like I’m right on the edge of acting on my thoughts and that I actually want to do it. It feels like this is never going to go away and I’m now this person who is going to harm someone. I’m at work because I’m supposed to keep living my life and not do compulsions. But not doing them is terrifying me. I feel like a complete monster and I don’t know what to do.
I’m so scared I don’t even know if this is OCD at this point. I keep having horrible intrusive thoughts on acting upon my worst fear and the feelings and thoughts are so strong and intense I’m genuinely convinced I might lose control and do something horrible. It feels to real and it’s so constant that I don’t trust myself at all. There are times where it even feels relieving to think about doing something horrible even though it’s the opposite of what I want so feeling like that is so confusing and it’s convincing me I’ve become my worst fear. I’ve been trying everything to avoid anything that brings these thoughts and feelings up because I’m just so scared I’m going to snap and do something horrible. I have therapy soon and I’m really glad about that but I’m scared to tell this to my therapist because I don’t know what’s going to happen. I just need to know I’m not the only one who experiences this because I feel like I’ve just gone crazy at this point. I’m so scared that this isn’t OCD.
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