Is my uncertainty about being gay a sign of OCD or genuine questioning?

It wants to make sure your 100% right. I get it, but they say you just have to sit with the uncertainty of it all. This makes it extremely difficult to do. I know... trying to practice this myself. I know I'm not attracted to women and actually the thought repulsed me, so I can't be gay...or else I'd enjoy the thoughts. This how I'm handling it

@Speckles Right the logic makes sense but when I ask myself and I say no I’m straight there is a feeling of doubt but then apparently it’s just so I get sucked back in the ocd cycle which does make sense.

@Speckles But also why is this even something I need to question I’m so sick of this I want my life back . I’m so madly in love with my husband and this has happened off and on for 10 years .

@flippy15 I know....I feel the same way. Not sure why this is happening. I love my husband too. It's really hard and I don't understand why this would happen to us. It really stinks!

@Speckles How long have you had this? At least it goes away for a few months which logically I know I’m straight. Im so sick of saying the words gay and straight and I know I’m Not supposed to engage but it just doesn’t stop. I can’t even talk to my husband about this which is the worst part

@flippy15 I've had this and POCD which is the absolute worse. I'd never hurt a child. My husband is aware of it. It all started when I was 19, but now I'm 56. It's been on and off for years. For some strange reason it all came back again and I was doing so good before. It's terrible. How long have you had it?

@flippy15 You can't mention anything to your husband about it? Are you afraid to tell him? I know how bad this is and it really takes the life out of you.... sorry. 😔

I'm questioning things, but I know I'm not, but not sure why these images will pop up and scare me.

@Speckles But asking yourself one way or the other? because neither is settling this and I’ve been here before but I just can’t stand this

@flippy15 I don't ask myself. I just identify with straight and intrusive images. I can't stand it either. It gets in the way of living a normal life

@flippy15 I think my husband is sick of me. I've taken to bed bc of depression. I'm having a hard time just functioning. I hate this so much. It's ruined my life.

@Speckles Have you ever asked your self though?

@flippy15 Yes...I have and sometimes I feel so uncertain, but I just keep telling myself that I'm not.

@flippy15 Basically, I feel it's all the OCD making me doubt things

@Speckles Hi. I think I’ve come to an incredible conclusion. The uncertainty we need to sit with isn’t about the thought, it’s the uncertainty of why our brains just throw our garbage thoughts. They aren’t us, they are annoying and distressing so a normal person reacts. Our brooms have a disorder that can’t shrug stuff off that should be shrugged off. You get to a point where you have to say I have a misfiring thought disorder unfortunately and recognize it as just an intrusive thought which intuitive thoughts by definition don’t mean anything . And say it’s not me, this is just a thought, it’s not my beliefs or what I want to do and accept the uncertainty our brain throws mistruths at us which suck. But we can either stay stuck or finally start realizing what this annoying horrible disorder is about. I just wanted to say this that maybe I can help you bc it’s really sinking in for me today

@flippy15 Thank you. I think you are right... it's our brains misfiring information and making us feel like it must be true when in fact it's the complete opposite. Now if I can just convince myself that it doesn't have anything to do with me as a person. That I'm not a bad person for having these images

@Speckles It’s beyond frustrating though and will take time to laugh at. I just want to finally really understand this since unfortunately it seems like it doesn’t really ever go away but for me goes in waves. The so-ocd theme is the same as pocd like you know 1000% that’s not true but like wtf why would our brain just spit lie thoughts at us but this is a disorder we have . And what an insane disorder just to have lie thoughts pop into your head. I won’t be doing anything Related to sexually and I’ll say hello to someone and then I’ll hear a thought that says I’m gay. Or I’ll be saying to my self I’m going to be late and immediately following I’ll hear I’m going to be gay it’s beyond frustrating and doesn’t make any sense and we’re just supposed to shrug it off how beyond confusing but for some reason this is what the disorder does . Did your gay thoughts happen like that? I’m just so sick of hearing those after thoughts it’s beyond annoying

@flippy15 I think that's a good idea to laugh it. Or someone suggested talking back and saying thanks for showing me that. Mine are more like images which I find more disturbing. Like if I see someone I'll see an image of their breasts and think why did that pop into my head... you sick pervert. What's wrong with me? Then I'll go down that rabbit hole. Stuff like that will happen, but I see what your saying too. I have something similar like you must be gay if you imagined such and such. It's horrible. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It's so frustrating, exhausting and just weird. Well, if you need to vent me just seek me out. I can't talk to my husband anymore. He's upset that I'm not getting out of bed when I should. But this depresses me so much. I want to be the person I use to be before all this

@Anonymous No I’m certain I’m not attached to the same sex but my ocd won’t let me settle on any label it all sounds doubtable

@Anonymous Why does this theme have to mean something but none of the others do. If someone is questioning the hocd or any of the other ones that is immediately no no that is just an intrusive nothing thought. The same goes for soocd Doesn’t it?