what if the thoughts don’t cause anxiety anymore?

I’ve had sexual thoughts that get so bad I used to cry daily. Today I tried to sit down and let the thoughts be there and I didn’t really feel anxiety? Does this mean I acted on the thoughts or I wanted the thoughts? There was a specific event like two days ago that I’ve been constantly having anxiety about because after the event I started getting sexual images and then I wondered if I actually did that. For the past two days life has been so bad. Today I woke up and I replayed the events step by step and I couldn’t find when I could’ve acted on the thoughts, so that gave me relief. Then I tried sitting with the thoughts, and the thoughts that once made me cry and feel so bad didn’t really feel like anything. Am I in denial? Just yesterday I was thinking the worst and that I couldn’t handle any of this anymore. I know replying events is a bad thing too but I needed to know for sure if I acted on my thoughts. My thoughts are so bad and the thing is if I did act on them I’d never be able to forgive myself. I notice in the moment I didn’t really feel anxiety like I did but I got so much anxiety the day after everything happened and then I wondered if I did something bad. Can someone please help?

Username: hanysm@gmail.comhanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 11w ago

Hello, It is important to understand the difference between thoughts, emotions and reactions, in terms of which is under your control and should represent you and your values. I wrote a post about this today titled " The good, The Bad and the Ugly. Search on it or here is a link to it. https://app.treatmyocd.com/community/posts/2033758

Username: rea7rea7

Date posted: 11w ago

@hanysm@gmail.com Thank you for this it was very helpful. I think I understand the emotion part like my reaction to these thoughts is anxiety I get stressed and I cry. Recently though I haven’t been crying and I want to know if that means something about me. Like I’ll get the thought and just ignore it and now I don’t feel anything anymore and then I’m confused does that mean I’m allowing the thought to happen?

Username: rea7rea7

Date posted: 11w ago

@rea7 Also the problem is I can’t tell between my thoughts and actions, like this very specific event that happened two days ago is bothering me. I don’t remember having these thoughts on that day, but I remember the day afterward I had a thought about doing something really bad that day and then I worried that I actually did that and somehow my memory was blocked out or something so I only remembered after it happened if that makes sense

Username: hanysm@gmail.comhanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 11w ago

@rea7 - This likely indicates that you have learned how to manage your emotions because you understand what's happening. The strange sensation might stem from your brain having become accustomed to a high level of distress, assuming it to be normal. Now, with reduced anxiety, it feels unusual. Allow yourself some time for your brain to adjust and recognize this new pattern as the norm.

Username: hanysm@gmail.comhanysm@gmail...

Date posted: 11w ago

@rea7 - Don't worry about what happened and try to analyze it. Just go with what works.

Username: rea7rea7

Date posted: 11w ago

@hanysm@gmail.com But like does that mean the thought that went through my head was just a thought and it isn’t true? I see images in my head of me doing terrible things on that day and now I can’t remember if i really did those things.

Username: ivrecivrec

Date posted: 11w ago

I have to add that when the thoughts don’t feel so bad that would be the goal of retaining your brain that these thoughts are not relevant since they do not represent your values and you have no intention of acting on them. Deep breath and remind yourself of OCDs tricks.

Username: rea7rea7

Date posted: 11w ago

@ivrec It feels like I do have the intention of acting on them like I’m scared I’ll lose control and actually do my worst fear. Obviously I DO NOT want that but I’m so scared it’ll just happen. And in my specific case the thoughts started after a specific event, about a day after the event I started getting terrible thoughts and images of me doing things that day and now I’m spiraling thinking what if I did those things and somehow I just don’t remember the exact details of it and that’s why I started having the terrible thoughts the day after

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 11w ago

It sounds like there's confusion and I so relate. I was able to surround myself who were open about their sexual thoughts and images popping up that it helped me not feel alone and the person wasn't anxious. I got to live through rejection through them technically to gain the perspective most people are the same or don't care because of how relatable it is. There may be some who are openly shaming about the topic but they never directed it about my actions, just the topic. Even if there is shame directly at me, seeing others not be persecuted helped me feel I was on the more disciplined side. I treated my OCD was checking in with an intrusive inappropriate ad and I pretend I click unsubscribe and allow myself to feel the lingering moments of shock to settle down on us own without judgement as I would be considered innocent until said action was done and even then most people including me aren't condemned. I realized mature people would breath of relief and go "me too!!" And immature people will insist I take prevention measures even though they don't even follow the same advice. I learned that the only thing I'm responsible for society is as long as I'm not actively hurting myself or others, I don't owe society anything. Sounds like you're doing great and your baseline emotions are finally stabilizing to not physically react with adrenaline while processing these passing thoughts. I also view my OCD may just trying to give an ad to remind the person there's a want to feel or see some kind of human connection, but with very bad marketing skills as it's a child who doesn't know how to ask without being extra dramatic to ensure they got the message to who they care about. It helps me thank them and also "no thank you, not yet or i prefer this instead right now"

Username: rea7rea7

Date posted: 11w ago

@Anonymous Hey thank you for this. I’m just stuck because I don’t know do the thought is true or not. I mean this took place like two days ago and I don’t remember doing anything on the day everything happened, but then all of a sudden the next day I remember having a thought about something terrible that could’ve taken place the day before. Like it was so bad I don’t even say. I only had the thoughts afterward so does that mean it’s a true thought and I really did those things?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 11w ago

OCD lies when it tries to convince you that your thoughts are more important than your actions. Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts and they are not necessarily indicative of who you truly are or what you will do. Work on forgiving yourself and focusing on your actions rather than your thoughts. OCD ties emotional intensity to our fears and values. Sounds like you're very aware and very honest. That is very appreciated for many people. I recognize that my thoughts and feelings are just fleeting, complex sensations that do not define me. I have to remind myself that my actions speak louder than any thought, history, and fears. That I'm a good person worthy of love and understanding as long as I continue to strive to see with my own hands that has proved countless times I was capable more than I ever thought to achieve. I believe humans can be more than their potential in creating and destroying, and despite these thoughts, you continue to be a good person. Humans do not have to strive to be or stay a good person, making mistakes will still lead to where I wanted to be, kinder and honest with myself and others. Honesty does not mean I have to share my inner thoughts or history, kindness does not mean I have to prevent bad thoughts and understand that I have faith before the proof that I can allow bad things to happen and still be loved. I treat my comparison urges that it's flawed limited data that "may" have some truth in a "specific perspective" yet I understand I may never come to a consistent truth. I ask why I am concerned with the truth being a certain way which if I'm honest, I'm really scared of being judged that I was not honest or being sinful because I value honesty and acceptance so high. Turns out OCD was trying to show me I've been always a good person but with fear and scrutiny. If I did this with love, the truth seems very different where these sexual thoughts is my monkey brain wanting to feel consoled by another's touch as humans need at least 20 hugs a day (unconsciously) so my body and brain is acting up dramatically to tell me I'm socially depleted, but OCD has bad marketing and instructions unclear motto that it can make anyone feel stuck. These moments are the most important to be compassionate and know others are struggling like you as well as many have overcome this just by sitting with kindness from within. Hope this helps

Username: rea7rea7

Date posted: 11w ago

@Anonymous Hey thank you this did help. I’m still scared the thought is true or might come true. But the thing is in the moment I don’t have any anxiety I’m just doing work, but then later on I’ll have a thought about doing something during that time and then I get confused what if it’s real. If it were true there would have to be signs right? I think I’m just so paranoid at this point that every little action I do has to be in front of other people so I can make sure I didn’t do anything gross.

Username: Drew73

Date posted: 3y ago

I guess I am curious how others have moved past the guilt that intrusive thoughts may have caused them? I am getting to the point where my most distressing thought is not eliciting a visceral and anxious response. This has decreased the prevalence of the thought. However, I find myself beating myself up for ever even having the thought. When I do this, obviously the thought returns more frequently. I also suffer from anhedonia, so I don’t know if this is my minds way of torturing me I.e. I can’t feel anything positive so why not make it so I feel the worst way possible so I at least feel something. I appreciate any insight you can provide.

Username: lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

Please reply, I want to have a normal day today

I woke up today feeling a bit more positive the last few days have been really rough, been crying, having outbursts of shouting and today I just feel exhausted and don’t want to think about it but at the same time I was ruminating on it so much and worrying a lot and it feels really difficult to just suddenly forget about it, I’ve been worrying because it feels like when I imagine the thought it feels like ‘I like the feeling’ of imagining doing that, the thoughts are about smothering. It’s been feeling like the end of the world and I’ve been worrying because it feels like I actually want to act on the thoughts and it’s horrible, feel like I don’t trust myself. Today I feel exhausted and just want to feel normal again but feel like I can’t just go back to forgetting about it and feeling normal since the last few days have felt so rough and real like it couldn’t have all been for nothing, all that worrying? Surely it must mean something? And it feels like I could easily just start worrying again, I’ve got a bit of anxiety and feel uneasy already, but I don’t want another day of misery. But it feels like these thoughts definitely mean something and it feels like if I choose not to think about it because I’m still kind of believing it that I’m just trying to pretend I’m not evil by forgetting about it or postponing being evil 😞😞

Username: lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

Really suffering a lot

Please reply, I know this can be seen as seeking reassurance but I think in some cases people need it and I am really suffering and am not in therapy or have ever been 😞 Is it possible with harm ocd that you can get use to the thought to the point you don’t get anxiety but the ‘urges’ can still be there? Or it feels like you ‘want’ to act on it or ‘like it’ or my head has literally convinced me that I like the feeling of doing that horrible thing and I get no anxiety when thinking about the thoughts (thoughts about smothering) and it’s stressing me out because I get no anxiety but it feels like I would suddenly lash out and do that and it’s because I ‘know how it feels to do that and enjoy/like the feeling of doing that/stopping someone from breathing with a pillow) I feel very upset and don’t know what to do, I’m carrying on with things but I’m constantly carrying this with me and I’m not stressing out over it every second of the day but I feel like I just don’t know what to do it feels so real and like it would actually happen and it’s ‘not the right circumstance for it to happen’ and Im just a mess and don’t know how I can live my life this way, believing this? It feels like it would happen or is inevitable and it would be because I like the feeling of smothering and it’s so horrible and I don’t know what to do I don’t even feel any bad feelings of anxiety or anything anymore but the other fake urges/feelings are there and it’s weird and I’m worried and don’t know how to deal with this

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what if the thoughts don’t cause anxiety anymore?

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