ROCD spike!! ADVICE WOULD BE AMAZING!!

Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)

Username: marcxlinemarcxline

Date posted: 10w ago

Hey girl, I’m going through ROCD currently and i hate it here lol, one thing I’ve Learned tho is that ROCD usually attacks Healthy relationships, i can guarantee you that after breaking up w him, you will feel like crap and ask yourself why tf you did it cause the ocd will be gone and you will be able to think clearly butt it’s too late by then …as for the ROCD it has completed it’s mission and you’ve lost someone that’s great and loving. That’s the cycle. If you do decide to leave this relationship and you end up with another person that’s great and yk the relationship is healthy, it will be back… it’s basically like a demon that torments you whenever you have something you adore and love, it comes and bullies you in to giving it up and then it makes you think it’s your fault… And babyy in this generation where most people in relationships are unbearable and crappy and cheaters or gaslighters, you can’t let a good one slide cause that’s exactly what your ocd wants! Ask yourself this, does that man treat you right, is he loving and caring towards you?, if he doesn’t gaslight you and twist shit, if he takes accountability and is patient and basically isn’t a red flag, then it’s the OCD. I also suggest leaning in to the thoughts instead of running away for them, be like” maybe it will, maybe it won’t, we will see” and then just keep doing whatever. Ps. Don’t talk to people w normal functioning brains about this, they will just trigger you, cause they don’t understand. You can just text here or talk to your therapist. If you’re religious pray that helps a lot as well. And keep doing your erp Therapy, you will be okay, we will all be okay!!

Username: L11L11

Date posted: 10w ago

@marcxline That’s really great advice, thank you for sharing. Totally agree about people with normal brains, they don’t get it!!

Username: marcxlinemarcxline

Date posted: 10w ago

@L11 Yes, they will never understand, this is why we need to help each other, we’re all we got fr!

Username: L11L11

Date posted: 10w ago

I’ve had exactly the same thing happen to me/still happening to me! Your not own your own, it feels impossible all the time 😞 I can only talk to my therapist about it, because anyone else wouldn’t understand and would say triggering things.

Username: BellaciaBellacia

Date posted: 10w ago

You're definitely not alone, hang in there and do not take any drastic decisions.

Username: meglucymeglucy

Date posted: 10w ago

Thank you so much for replying 🙏🏻 this bad meltdown happened after my third session with my therapist on Thursday, so I’m thinking the therapy is making me worse and now I don’t know whether to keep going with it or stop it. The rocd was kind of under control a tiny bit before therapy, but now I’m all over the place and have no idea what to do when triggered 😪maybe starting therapy I’ve made myself worse 😔

Username: marcxlinemarcxline

Date posted: 10w ago

@meglucy You’re very welcome, is your therapist making you exercise erp therapy and may i also ask if you’re on any meds for it?

Username: meglucymeglucy

Date posted: 10w ago

@marcxline We haven’t started that yet, we have been doing cbt diagrams and worry diaries. It doesn’t really help though. I’d love to try erp but now I’m thinking I can just look it up online how to do it, do I even need a therapist? I take sertraline and quetiapine

Username: marcxlinemarcxline

Date posted: 10w ago

@meglucy Ahh i see, personally i think writing a worry diary will only make it worse cause our fears are irrational, like we have anxiety over things that aren’t even real and so writing a worry diary is like asking your ocd, what other things do i need to worry about and it’s gonna tell you “ ouu how about this, shouldn’t we worry about this… and this” and then next thing yk you’ve got new things to worry about and ruminate on. I feel like that’s why you’re OCD has been worse lately. And as for therapy..i think it is Important but you need to find the right therapist for you, if you can find an OCD specialist that would be amazing or a therapist that really know how to navigate it because a lot of therapists i feel like don’t really understand it but they think they do. Therapy is important because having someone that listens to you talk by itself is a form of therapy of therapy but make sure they’re ocd specialists or at least know about it. And erp is the really the main way to fix ocd so yess you can definitely search it up on YouTube, there are many ocd specialists that do videos on it, you can also read books on it, educate yourself on it as much as possible, that’s what i did and it’s still hard but it’s better.

Username: kcer3kcer3

Date posted: 10w ago

I feel this pain so often. It’s hard not to listen to the voices around you but you have to find spaces for yourself potentially in things like meditation to slow down and try to find your voice. I love my partner so deeply and know that i want to spend my life with him, but theres a constant dialogue in my head making me doubt my feelings. Not all thoughts are actions. The website conscious transitions is a really helpful resource and i urge you to check it out! They focus on breaking the normal thought in society of doubt means dont. If you’re with a loving and supportive partner, it very well could be a relationship worth holding on to and just more work you have to do personally. Hold on, youre not alone in this ❤️

Username: meglucymeglucy

Date posted: 10w ago

So do you think I should leave this therapist and find a new one if worry diaries are going to make my ocd worse?

Username: meglucymeglucy

Date posted: 10w ago

@meglucy I do like the way she works, but I don’t know if it’s a bad sign that my anxiety and ocd has got worse since my last session. It could be that things get worse before they get better?

Username: hilovely

Date posted: 48w ago

Newbie to OCD

hi so i am pretty new to discovering ocd and trying to figure out why i am feeling the way i am feeling. i’ve never been diagnosed with ocd and honestly thought my anxiety was just super bad until it started affecting the way i saw my relationship. i’ve never had this bad of anxiety in my relationship and around november of last year is whenever i started noticing the cycle of repeated thoughts of “should i break up with him?” ive been with my boyfriend for almost two years. yes we’ve been through our ups and downs and our relationship has overall been such a beautiful relationship (super healthy compared to old ones) we love each other deeply and communicate and just overall find ways to help improve our relationship healthier and i’ve had a doubt here and there throughout these years but since last November i started feeling disconnected with him a little. i started to question sometimes if i really loved him. other times i told myself and asked myself if i should break up with him. if we really loved each other. i started focusing on his features a lot more. to the point where these thoughts around him made me feel so extremely uncomfortable. i’ve done all my research trying to figure out if I love him or not and trying to find reassurance and other people stories to see if they feel the same way I would also see how I feel whenever I was around him and it got to a point where I overall just felt very disconnected with him and a lot of different forms. I sometimes will forget about these thoughts and I will go out through my week throughout my days and I won’t even think about them and then something good will happen actually and it will trigger that immediate thought or sometimes we’re not even doing anything we’re just hanging out and being together and that will trigger the thought of wanting to break up with him and it makes me extremely uncomfortable and it makes me panic gives me anxiety and it just stresses me out because I know it’s not true, but my brain has tried to fully convince myself it is. I was doing really good and I figured out how healthy I wanted this relationship to be recently and because we’ve been so stressed on talking about our relationship and moving on even further and growing together, it started coming back and now I’m very very anxious again. I also have this type of anxiety of obsessing over things such as my health. When it comes to my gut health to my skin I have a very bad habit of having perfectionism not only within, my body face and everything around what is myself. I have a lot of anxieties, and I always thought it was just very severe anxiety until when I was researching why I was doubting my love for my boyfriend I heard of ROCD and I was super curious to know if I even have OCD, I brought it up with my psychiatrist and she doesn’t think that I have any. I have so much anxiety over this I feel like it’s physically and mentally controlling my body from how much it’s overwhelming me. I don’t know what to do. I keep convincing myself it’s not even RCOD and maybe I truly don’t love him but I have no other proof or feelings that that could be true. It’s just a thought that circles in my head and no matter how many reassurance I give myself it will come back within an hour, if someone could please give some advice I will have my own therapy session here soon and I’m very excited to know how I can overcome this

Username: Parisx

Date posted: 41w ago

Is this even ROCD

Hi, I have never posted on a forum before because I’m scared someone will come back and say ‘it’s not OCD’. Anyway, I have always had obsessional thoughts. Always obsessed about my health and if I was going to die. I have always had intrusive thoughts and when I was around 16 I had my first awful one HOCD. This made me feel so sick and I couldn’t leave my bed. Would look at women and get groinal responses and would avoid anything LGBTQ. I then suffered with POCD, which I nearly asked to be sectioned over. Now, I am with my current partner (2months) and we are moving in together in 2 weeks. I have known him since I was 14 and have always had a thing for him. Anyway, last year there was this person at work who I forced and convinced myself to ‘like’ don’t even know if I even did to be honest. But his background is awful and everyone around me said it was a bad decision and I knew this too. We used to talk all the time but yeah, anyway… I said I didn’t want a relationship and distanced myself from him and never really thought about him. I’m now in my relationship with my current partner and I adore him. He is fully aware of what is going on in my head. I have also just started therapy. My head is comparing him to this guy at work. Makes me think they look alike, but this all stemmed from when my current partner was talking about his family past and I instantly thought oh no, I hope my family doesn’t think this is bad (they love him). So now, my head is saying ‘what if you love this other guy’ what if the reason you can’t get this out your head is because the universe is giving you a sign’ ‘what if everyone told you not to go there, then what’ the thoughts are endless and honestly, I can’t stop crying, it is making me physically sick, have panic attacks. I confess to my partner all the time and he is honestly so supportive! I feel like I’m mentally cheating or what if I’m denial. When we first got together I was fine. No thoughts and then bang I’m consumed. My head is filled with them. I feel congested with him. I feel disgusting. I look for reassurance. I constantly look on Quora and Reddit. I can’t cope. I love my current partner! And we tried getting together years ago but it wasn’t our time and since, I thought about him every now and again and now my brain is saying ‘oh see, what if it’s the same situation with this guy a work’ I just want coping mechanisms and relief. This honestly feels like torture.!!! oh and my head says ‘what if you go to therapy and discover your true desires and it turns out that it isn’t ocd’

Username: Doot 🎺

Date posted: 39w ago

I got into a relationship (fairly quickly but were both happy and if it doesnt work we can obviously just stop) but its been giving me MAJOR anxiety My friends keep telling me i should have gone to therapy and fixed this fear of relationships beforehand but I feel like if I do that with everything ill be forever in therapy coz of how much OCD changes. Its something new and scary so ocd has stepped in exept my ‘intrusive thought’ is the anxiety itself, im scared of the horrible feeling of feeling scared and sick I was sick last night from anxiety, which hasnt happened in a LONG time, and now im scared ive slipped back again, but this time instead of having a thought to disregard, how do i disregard the literal worst feeling ever? Its so horrid and makes me feel so sick, how do i just get on with that? I know i have to or it will keep happening hence the ocd cycle Is staying put in my relationship good? Because im scared of it, or should i leave?? I don’t want to but I don’t want this ocd either but i do love him a lot im just such a confused mess

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

ROCD spike!! ADVICE WOULD BE AMAZING!!

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community