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Username: meglucy

Date posted: 4w ago

ROCD spike!! ADVICE WOULD BE AMAZING!!

Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)

Username: marcxlinemarcxline

Date posted: 4w ago

Hey girl, I’m going through ROCD currently and i hate it here lol, one thing I’ve Learned tho is that ROCD usually attacks Healthy relationships, i can guarantee you that after breaking up w him, you will feel like crap and ask yourself why tf you did it cause the ocd will be gone and you will be able to think clearly butt it’s too late by then …as for the ROCD it has completed it’s mission and you’ve lost someone that’s great and loving. That’s the cycle. If you do decide to leave this relationship and you end up with another person that’s great and yk the relationship is healthy, it will be back… it’s basically like a demon that torments you whenever you have something you adore and love, it comes and bullies you in to giving it up and then it makes you think it’s your fault… And babyy in this generation where most people in relationships are unbearable and crappy and cheaters or gaslighters, you can’t let a good one slide cause that’s exactly what your ocd wants! Ask yourself this, does that man treat you right, is he loving and caring towards you?, if he doesn’t gaslight you and twist shit, if he takes accountability and is patient and basically isn’t a red flag, then it’s the OCD. I also suggest leaning in to the thoughts instead of running away for them, be like” maybe it will, maybe it won’t, we will see” and then just keep doing whatever. Ps. Don’t talk to people w normal functioning brains about this, they will just trigger you, cause they don’t understand. You can just text here or talk to your therapist. If you’re religious pray that helps a lot as well. And keep doing your erp Therapy, you will be okay, we will all be okay!!

Username: L11L11

Date posted: 4w ago

@marcxline That’s really great advice, thank you for sharing. Totally agree about people with normal brains, they don’t get it!!

Username: marcxlinemarcxline

Date posted: 4w ago

@L11 Yes, they will never understand, this is why we need to help each other, we’re all we got fr!

Username: L11L11

Date posted: 4w ago

I’ve had exactly the same thing happen to me/still happening to me! Your not own your own, it feels impossible all the time 😞 I can only talk to my therapist about it, because anyone else wouldn’t understand and would say triggering things.

Username: BellaciaBellacia

Date posted: 4w ago

You're definitely not alone, hang in there and do not take any drastic decisions.

Username: meglucymeglucy

Date posted: 4w ago

Thank you so much for replying 🙏🏻 this bad meltdown happened after my third session with my therapist on Thursday, so I’m thinking the therapy is making me worse and now I don’t know whether to keep going with it or stop it. The rocd was kind of under control a tiny bit before therapy, but now I’m all over the place and have no idea what to do when triggered 😪maybe starting therapy I’ve made myself worse 😔

Username: marcxlinemarcxline

Date posted: 4w ago

@meglucy You’re very welcome, is your therapist making you exercise erp therapy and may i also ask if you’re on any meds for it?

Username: meglucymeglucy

Date posted: 4w ago

@marcxline We haven’t started that yet, we have been doing cbt diagrams and worry diaries. It doesn’t really help though. I’d love to try erp but now I’m thinking I can just look it up online how to do it, do I even need a therapist? I take sertraline and quetiapine

Username: marcxlinemarcxline

Date posted: 4w ago

@meglucy Ahh i see, personally i think writing a worry diary will only make it worse cause our fears are irrational, like we have anxiety over things that aren’t even real and so writing a worry diary is like asking your ocd, what other things do i need to worry about and it’s gonna tell you “ ouu how about this, shouldn’t we worry about this… and this” and then next thing yk you’ve got new things to worry about and ruminate on. I feel like that’s why you’re OCD has been worse lately. And as for therapy..i think it is Important but you need to find the right therapist for you, if you can find an OCD specialist that would be amazing or a therapist that really know how to navigate it because a lot of therapists i feel like don’t really understand it but they think they do. Therapy is important because having someone that listens to you talk by itself is a form of therapy of therapy but make sure they’re ocd specialists or at least know about it. And erp is the really the main way to fix ocd so yess you can definitely search it up on YouTube, there are many ocd specialists that do videos on it, you can also read books on it, educate yourself on it as much as possible, that’s what i did and it’s still hard but it’s better.

Username: kcer3kcer3

Date posted: 4w ago

I feel this pain so often. It’s hard not to listen to the voices around you but you have to find spaces for yourself potentially in things like meditation to slow down and try to find your voice. I love my partner so deeply and know that i want to spend my life with him, but theres a constant dialogue in my head making me doubt my feelings. Not all thoughts are actions. The website conscious transitions is a really helpful resource and i urge you to check it out! They focus on breaking the normal thought in society of doubt means dont. If you’re with a loving and supportive partner, it very well could be a relationship worth holding on to and just more work you have to do personally. Hold on, youre not alone in this ❤️

Username: meglucymeglucy

Date posted: 4w ago

So do you think I should leave this therapist and find a new one if worry diaries are going to make my ocd worse?

Username: meglucymeglucy

Date posted: 4w ago

@meglucy I do like the way she works, but I don’t know if it’s a bad sign that my anxiety and ocd has got worse since my last session. It could be that things get worse before they get better?

Username: pennydreadful

Date posted: 3y ago

it feels like im drowning. i feel trapped. ***rocd vent*** my rocd has made things difficult in my relationship with my boyfriend, and i’m frightened that it’s the end i cant breathe without thinking it’s the end of him and me, i cant eat at all and i cant stop living with fear it’s been rocky lately with him, but i’m determined to keep going i want to because i truly cherish him, and love him yet my brain keeps asking me if i really do want to keep going, if i really do love him, and if i’m really okay with spending my days just dreading the end im obviously not, i want things to be okay again, but my ocd keeps haunting and haunting me and i’m so scared that these thoughts are my real ones, that these are my true feelings ive been open about my ocd with him, and this has contributed to the rocky patch it doesn’t help that i’m not formally diagnosed, and it also doesn’t help that i’ve been doubting whether or not i have ocd. (i have what i believe are a lot of the symptoms, but even then i doubt myself) i just feel like i’m drowning. i want peace in my head and in my heart. i want things to be back to normal with him and me, and i want to be happy. it just doesn’t feel the same, and i feel like it’s my fault for starting us on this rocky path. the last thing i want is a breakup, yet my thoughts tell me that i’d like freedom. they chant that i need to escape and run far far away. they make me feel like the only way out of the way i feel is by ending it, and i don’t want to end it. the only things moving me forward is the knowledge that i’ll get to speak to a professional soon (in two weeks), and the hope that things get better in time. thank you to whoever reads my rant, and i’m sorry if this is triggering. i just needed to write how i feel somewhere. reassurance has been driving me downhill, so please don’t reassure me. if possible, just give me advice on how to cope with feeling this way.

Relationship OCD

Username: Ocean

Date posted: 47w ago

My head is spinning

I am having the absolute worst week. My anxiety is so bad, I can’t think straight. I haven’t had a moment of calm for days and I feel like I’m going crazy. I’ve had what I think is intense ROCD/RA for about three years now, and it is getting so difficult to tell if all the issues I see are just in my head or if there is actually something wrong with my relationship. We’ve been together for five years and the first two years were lovely. I had some fears and doubts, but I felt very happy with my partner. We were together 24/7 and always had fun with each other. Then we started to spend a bit less time together and ROCD or whatever this is hit me really hard. I started worrying that he didn’t love me anymore, and that I didn’t love him and I did a lot of feeling checking and other things that I have figured out are common ROCD symptoms. Flash forward to now, I still feel like we don’t spend enough time together, and I get super upset by little things like if he has positioned his body so that it is pointing straight forward instead of towards me. I know I have an anxious attachment style and I am finding it so difficult to figure out what are reasonable concerns and what are things that I need to learn to be okey with because they are actually healthy and normal. The longer ROCD has gone on, the harder it has gotten. Two months ago I felt super in love and was actually feeling like I was in recovery. Then I went away for a work trip for a week and I had a lot of fun and was very busy so I didn’t have time to miss him and after I got home my ROCD exploded again. I have been wondering why I don’t feel that excited when I’m at home and do we still have fun together and lots of thoughts like that. Of course, I know that my ROCD gets in the way of our relationship being as good as it can be, and my partner has had health issues since the past few years that make him very tired which also doesn’t help. He is super sweet and funny and caring and smart but I keep finding faults. I also keep wishing that when he was tired he wanted to cuddle with me or something, because that’s what I want when I’m tired, and I don’t know if that’s a reasonable thing or if it’s just that people need different things when they aren’t feeling well. Right now I am super triggered and my mind is pretty much completely sure that I need to break up with him and that my anxiety comes from uprooting my life and needing to have difficult conversations rather than from actually wanting to stay in the relationship. I am so confused and I can’t sleep because I keep waking up with anxious thoughts and I keep waiting for signs that all is good between us but even when I get them my brain explains them away. I should also add that during the weekend I was at a work party and was harassed by a manager, so I think that has contributed to my spike. Also, we are at my parents place for the next ten days now and that also usually triggers my ROCD. My anxiety is so high that I can’t eat properly, which just makes the cycle worse as well. I know this is a lot, and I know seeking for reassurance is not the right thing to do. I just needed to get some things out of my head because it has been spinning for so long. And if anyone has any advice on how I should cope that would be amazing.

Relationship OCD

Username: hilovely

Date posted: 42w ago

Newbie to OCD

hi so i am pretty new to discovering ocd and trying to figure out why i am feeling the way i am feeling. i’ve never been diagnosed with ocd and honestly thought my anxiety was just super bad until it started affecting the way i saw my relationship. i’ve never had this bad of anxiety in my relationship and around november of last year is whenever i started noticing the cycle of repeated thoughts of “should i break up with him?” ive been with my boyfriend for almost two years. yes we’ve been through our ups and downs and our relationship has overall been such a beautiful relationship (super healthy compared to old ones) we love each other deeply and communicate and just overall find ways to help improve our relationship healthier and i’ve had a doubt here and there throughout these years but since last November i started feeling disconnected with him a little. i started to question sometimes if i really loved him. other times i told myself and asked myself if i should break up with him. if we really loved each other. i started focusing on his features a lot more. to the point where these thoughts around him made me feel so extremely uncomfortable. i’ve done all my research trying to figure out if I love him or not and trying to find reassurance and other people stories to see if they feel the same way I would also see how I feel whenever I was around him and it got to a point where I overall just felt very disconnected with him and a lot of different forms. I sometimes will forget about these thoughts and I will go out through my week throughout my days and I won’t even think about them and then something good will happen actually and it will trigger that immediate thought or sometimes we’re not even doing anything we’re just hanging out and being together and that will trigger the thought of wanting to break up with him and it makes me extremely uncomfortable and it makes me panic gives me anxiety and it just stresses me out because I know it’s not true, but my brain has tried to fully convince myself it is. I was doing really good and I figured out how healthy I wanted this relationship to be recently and because we’ve been so stressed on talking about our relationship and moving on even further and growing together, it started coming back and now I’m very very anxious again. I also have this type of anxiety of obsessing over things such as my health. When it comes to my gut health to my skin I have a very bad habit of having perfectionism not only within, my body face and everything around what is myself. I have a lot of anxieties, and I always thought it was just very severe anxiety until when I was researching why I was doubting my love for my boyfriend I heard of ROCD and I was super curious to know if I even have OCD, I brought it up with my psychiatrist and she doesn’t think that I have any. I have so much anxiety over this I feel like it’s physically and mentally controlling my body from how much it’s overwhelming me. I don’t know what to do. I keep convincing myself it’s not even RCOD and maybe I truly don’t love him but I have no other proof or feelings that that could be true. It’s just a thought that circles in my head and no matter how many reassurance I give myself it will come back within an hour, if someone could please give some advice I will have my own therapy session here soon and I’m very excited to know how I can overcome this

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ROCD spike!! ADVICE WOULD BE AMAZING!!

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