Therapy is making me more confused…

I am so unsure of what to do. I have had 4 sessions with my new therapist, but after each session I feel even worse. I’m frustrated with it because she is not giving me any coping strategies. I need to know what to do and how to cope when I’m triggered. I’m so scared to keep carrying on every session but not learning how to actually cope with my problem. That will make me more stressed. Is this normal? I can’t afford to waste money, it’s soo expensive 😪 I would have expected to have started erp or some sort of intervention by now, and she doesn’t give me an answer when I ask when will we start erp. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable question. I don’t even know what type of intervention she’s got planned! I’ve just told her I’m interested in erp. Surely I should know that by now? I just need a rough answer so I’m working towards a goal and I know what’s happening. She just says that’s me looking for certainty again. I disagree. I’m not looking for certainty, I’m just asking for what to expect from the sessions and whether I’m going to get what I’m paying a lot of money for. This will probably be my last chance for therapy because of finance and I don’t want to waste it on the wrong treatment 😩 would any therapists start erp or coping strategies earlier than the fifth session or is what I’m dealing with the norm? Thanks 🙏🏻

Anonymous

Date posted: 42w

I'm sorry you are going through this! I really hope you can start ERP soon! Are you doing therapy through NOCD?

meglucy

Date posted: 42w

@Anonymous No I’m in the uk so I’m a bit nervous to try therapy from a different country, it feels quite overwhelming. I really don’t know what to do. I do really like my therapist, but I don’t know why we haven’t started coping strategies yet. That’s what I need. Or should I keep going and hope that once she gets to know my problem we will start intervention. I feel like I don’t know what I should be expecting, and should I listen to my bad feeling I have or is that just ocd 😔

Anonymous

Date posted: 42w

@meglucy I'm sorry, that must be confusing and stressful... Of course, I'm just another OCD sufferer, so I'm not the wisest about the subject. But I hear you, and I see what you mean, and I agree that it is reasonable to have a rough estimate of when ERP will start and that asking doesn't seem like OCD. I'm sorry it hasn't been easy. Other people I know with OCD are also having issues with therapy, and it's hard knowing they are having a hard time... So are you unable to sign up with NOCD because you live in the UK?

meglucy

Date posted: 42w

@Anonymous I can schedule a free call to talk about my options but I’m too nervous as I don’t know what to expect. I’m not sure if it will cost calling from America

Zoë_84

Date posted: 42w

@meglucy Is your therapist specialized in treating OCD sufferers with ERP? If not, I'd suggest you find a therapist who is. Regarding having therapy from another country. I live in Germany and I had the best and the only successful ERP therapy with a therapist from the US and afterwards with a therapist from Canada both via online therapy. The latter therapist was from NOCD. Not every therapist at NOCD is licensed to provide treatment to people not living in their country and it took a while till I got a list of therapists who are licensed, but it was worth it. Lourdes De Las Haras Kuhn is absolutely amazing. She is respectful, kind, understanding and highly experienced in treating OCD with ERP.

meglucy

Date posted: 42w

@Zoë_84 She is a cbt specialist and deals with ocd. I don’t think ocd is her main specialist but she still deals with it and on her page she offers erp with a list of other therapies she offers. I do really like her, I think I just need a guarantee that we will actually try erp or something that will help me cope with my triggers. Talking about my triggers is not helping me. By the fifth session, I would have expected to have started intervention. But we are still looking at writing down my triggers and how I feel when having those triggers then rating intensity. Why is she still doing this every session, I know it helps her identify my problem, but it doesn’t help me. But every time I ask her when we will start erp or coping strategies she doesn’t give me an answer so I start spiralling down into reassurance and before I know it the session is over. Therefore she says she can’t carry on with the method of treatment she has planned, but I don’t even know what that method is!! Do I need to be patient in letting her do her job, is it unreasonable to want to know when to start coping strategies, because I guess every situation is different, she can’t really tell me exactly when I’m ready for intervention can she? God I’m so confused 😔

Zoë_84

Date posted: 42w

@meglucy Well, identifying your triggers and rating them helps to create ERP exposures.

meglucy

Date posted: 42w

@Zoë_84 So do you think the therapy sounds ok?

Zoë_84

Date posted: 42w

@meglucy I can't tell. I have any insight on how you to interact, etc.

Jennifer Dal...

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 25w

Let’s talk about Therapy

So you got to ask me anything… Now I’d like to ask you something! I’ve heard from Members that they were so scared coming to their first ERP session. They were terrified that I would think they were crazy, that I would tell them their worst fears were true. That I would confirm they are some form of a terrible person or have them hauled off to prison for their thoughts. I’ve also had Members share how they’re very scared to begin ERP treatment because they’ve researched enough to know it means facing the fear, without the compulsions that have kept them feeling safe (but not really safe) this entire time. They struggled to see how they could be capable of doing this, while simultaneously acknowledging that they did not want to live like this anymore. If you have had your first session, what were your thoughts before? Did you have any hesitations or fears going into it? How did it turn out? If you haven’t yet begun to work with an ERP specialist, what is holding you back?

annabanana248

Date posted: 21w

In limbo between therapists and feeling discouraged

I've been in and out of talk therapy for OCD-related issues for years, but it hasn't been effective long-term. I am struggling with body image / eating disorder adjacent obsessions and I am really hopeful that ERP might actually give me some relief. I had my first session with my NOCD therapist a few weeks ago. It felt like a good match and I was ready to unpack my obsessions and compulsions to try ERP for the first time. The day of my second session she canceled due to personal illness. Then this happened a second time. Yesterday all of my future booked sessions were canceled without explanation. I went to schedule with a new therapist and the ones that seemed could be a good fit are filled up until at least early April. I booked a slot and sent the therapist a message letting her know I would be interested in starting sooner if a slot opened up. I am just disappointed. I could just meet with another therapist who has earlier availability, but it's most important to me that the therapist be a good fit since I've been through therapy so many times. I feel like I'm in limbo until I have an ERP plan set up and I'm not sure how to move forward in the meantime. I'm planning try out a support group but I need a personalized exposure plan and I'm not sure if that's something I should just try to set up myself? Anyone have something similar happen to them? Any thoughts or advice would be helpful.

tayanominous

Date posted: 19w

Can therapist make you feel worse?

So I’ve been going to an ocd therapist for abt 2-3 months now and she’s starting to make me feel very nervous and anxious I even started crying, she wanted me to do exposures that were to much for me and I got rlly upset and Burt out into tears and she just didn’t say anything and just sat there for a good 10 seconds doing nothing this is starting to repeat nearly every session and I’m very frustrated should I get a new therapist or do I just be nice and tough it out?

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