Viny

Date posted: 41w

I had a dream of my abuser

TW: mentions of S3xu@l @buse Like the title said I had a really horrible dream of my abuser performing oral sex on me. And Inside the dream I kept having the same feelings I had the day he abused me. I had also the same feelings I have when my OCD attacks. The thing is my brain kept trying to switch his imagury of that of a woman (which is way more pleasing) still I remember his face and I woke up with a lot of anxiety and disgust. I honestly hated it I know OCD can affect dreams I just hope this doesn't become recurring... I really don't know what to say anymore. I didn't enjoy it but my OCD keeps trying to say I did. I think this is the worse part of it really.

miku -_-

Date posted: 41w

The mind plays tricks on you sometimes and for people with OCD it’s worse. Your not alone I’ve been where you were it will not become recurring. At some point in my life I had to tell my mind you will not win because I know I didn’t enjoy what happened to me at all but the mind thinks it’s okay to play tricks. Don’t let the dreams and thoughts win fight back!

Viny

Date posted: 41w

I won't. Thank you for your words. It's just overwhelming and disgusting really the good news I didn't become bed ridden this time I woke up. Took a shower. Ate and went to the gym. My mind will not win.

mriley♥

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 41w

I had a dream about sex with my cousin who caused my PTSD and yeah it's pretty normal with trauma to have those doubts and feelings with dreams

Viny

Date posted: 41w

honestly, I had a bad flair up just now where I thought I was losing my attraction to women because I couldn't get aroused fast enough, so I was so focused on getting aroused or "proving" my thoughts wrong I just couldn't do it and I almost panicked I could even picture my own future being shattered lol. It's all fake lol, I don't need to want to have sex with each and every woman I see to prove I'm straight nor I want to be aroused by every single person I see in the street, and my mind cannot make me lose my future, if I want to be married to a woman I will be. Simple as that

Viny

Date posted: 41w

and to add on that, I'm just feeling disgusting while trying to think about sex because of that dream, because everytime I even remotely thing on something good the face of my abuser comes up and I panic. Maybe a mixture of PTSD and OCD?

mriley♥

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 41w

@Viny Probably, I deal with both and it's something extremely similar. I'm either hyper sexual or feel like I'm gonna puke thinking of sex

mriley♥

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 41w

@Viny I have a therapist that does Prolonged exposure for PTSD and it's nice, hard but it helps so I would recommend that if you haven't done it!!

Viny

Date posted: 41w

@Anonymous - I feel like I am the same, I enjoy being in the front seat and in control of my own sexuality (straight male) sometimes however I want to puke because it makes me remember all those bad times I had.

Viny

Date posted: 41w

@Anonymous - I'm going to discuss this with my therapist. Wrost part is that, I'm probably too stressed with university (I'm delivering on my final thesis) to even think of sex and arousal and my OCD is all too trigger happy to beat me over it

Speckles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 41w

@Viny It is all fake. Keep telling yourself that!

Viny

Date posted: 41w

@Speckles - I will, I know it's all fake, my worst enemy right now are groinal responses, I usually react with disgust to my sexual intrusive thoughts and then I feel the groinals, I feel a tight sensation on my groin area and other things, it's bad it's a bit painful physically and very painful emotionally

rane75

Date posted: 24w

Does anyone know if dreams and OCD have connection

I have very odd dreams and they always have to do with my intrusive thoughts. I will have nightmares about all of the things i don’t want to happen and i am afraid of and even thought this is normal, i never have real dreams. Only nightmares.I also always remember my dreams and have 3-7 dreams a night even if i only sleep 6 hours. i wonder if anyone feels the same way or has a story to share

Lulu~

Date posted: 17w

False memories + real events (TW: POCD)

Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT

POCD

OCD_girly

Date posted: 14w

Hocd dreams

I know people say ocd can manifest in your dreams. I had a semi sexual dream, in that there was a naked woman and I enjoyed the dream so surely that can't be ocd. Idk this shit is annoying.

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