Username: Lexi girl

Date posted: 8w ago

Please help me. I’m so done with my life

I hate sitting in my room with only me and my thoughts. I have lost my faith in the lord and can’t seem to get on with my life. I’m so stuck on everything and can’t seem to get better. I keep self harming and get to the point to where I see the second layer of my skin. It gets worse and worse each time I have suicidal thoughts. One of these days it’ll get so bad that well you can probably guess what I may do. I have been abused physically mentally and sexually in my past and it haunts me every single day of my life. Any time I try to talk to someone about my mental health they tell me I’m a waste of their time or that I need to talk to someone other than them. But all that does is make me keep it all bottled up and I can’t take it anymore. They say mental abuse is worse than physical and I can see why they say that. I just want a normal life so I don’t have to be depressed 24/7. It ruins my social life and it makes me loose my friends and family because of how distant I am. I just need help and please give me advice. Also sorry I’m not very good at explaining things.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 8w ago

All I can tell you is to remind yourself that OCD happens to people with good intentions, otherwise our thoughts wouldn’t bother us. Understand that everyone with good intentions has a potential to become someone great with an positive impact on the world, and that it would be a loss to everyone to see that person lose their battle to OCD when it’s absolutely treatable. Don’t ever lose hope when help is available. Take care ❤️

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 8w ago

@Anonymous Thank you it means the world to know I have people who care about me especially when I thought I had no one

Username: SliceySlicey

Date posted: 8w ago

I’m really sorry you are going through this. I have been in a similar situation and I’m here to tell you it gets better. Do you have a therapist?

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 8w ago

@Slicey I do not. My parents have no idea that I’m dealing with this because when I try to say something I feel like they don’t understand. I really want to have a therapist but what am I supposed to tell them?

Username: SliceySlicey

Date posted: 8w ago

@Lexi girl Are you over the age of 13 and in the US?

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 8w ago

@Slicey Yes

Username: SliceySlicey

Date posted: 8w ago

@Lexi girl You have the right to access your own medical care without your parents’ consent.

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 8w ago

@Slicey Really?

Username: SliceySlicey

Date posted: 8w ago

@Lexi girl It may vary by state - I know in Washington, it’s 13. You could check with your school counselor or nurse.

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 8w ago

@Slicey I may do that. Thank you so much

Username: JorgeMac2017JorgeMac2017

Date posted: 8w ago

Hey dude it’s cool… we all lose our cool in rough time especially when we are going through that. Dude honestly there are people that questioned God but they all found that even in the trouble and hard dark time he is ther and he’s offering light, life and freedom. Trust me it’s hard to see sometimes but don’t give up!!! You’re ok trust me. I’ve had ocd and depression and gone through some of those things throughout my life. Dude when I was 14 I dropped out of high school because I couldn’t function, I thought I wasn’t going to ever get married or have kids but look at me now holding down a job working from 40-60 hrs a week when before I couldn’t even eat for 14 hrs a day nor move out the house. God is Good and I say again God is amazing!! Dude there is a lot to live for and a lot to explore and experience ! Life is full of ups and downs but trust that there is always ups!! I was depressed and still get those days where I feel like it’s easier to turn in the towel but dude forget that look at all that I would be missing. I was born to do good not give in especially to lies that try to take my joy away. I prayed and God gave me a wife, I prayed and God gave me a job, I prayed and God continues to help me throughout my faults and failures. Life isn’t easy but giving up doesn’t make it easier. Life is tough but we were made to be tougher and we only got one life dude so make the best out of it. Forget so-called friends and boyfriend or girlfriends that are immature or are not helpful they don’t know what’s it’s like but dude hang on there good things right outside the door, right around the corner, right there after a prayer!!! Trust me I get days were the depression and suicidal thought flee in i hold tight and think do I really want to give up all the good just because it’s hard, my children will have it harder without me and I say naaa I’m going to live for them. It gets easier to push past those thoughts as we look to goodness and realize it’s just lies and nonsense. Trust me they sound like they make sense but they are nonsense. Much love and I’ll be praying for you don’t give up there so much that’s good in this world. And you are part of that goodness!!

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 8w ago

@JorgeMac2017 Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that has changed my thoughts. I’m going to try harder to get passed this cause I want to have kids and a future one day. I just hope I can get through this and I hope everything will be ok

Username: ocdsucksxocdsucksx

Date posted: 8w ago

all I can say is you’re strong to overcome anything, even when you don’t feel like you are. you’re alive. you stayed alive for another night, that’s an INCREDIBLY strong thing to do, and you did it. I know you feel like your life is getting nowhere and you feel lost but God loves you, God made us to conquer not fail. I’m sorry for the hurt others have caused you, you didn’t deserve it. you deserve healing and love. therapists are amazing for venting, if you don’t have one then please get one, cuz bottling emotions isn’t healthy. they specialize in this, they WANT to help you. you will be okay. your life is worth it.

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 8w ago

@ocdsucksx Thank you and I really would like a therapist but I’m so afraid to show what I feel. I normally keep everything bottled up cause no one seems to care or even tries to help out so I just never talk about what I feel and what I’m going through.

Username: ocdsucksxocdsucksx

Date posted: 8w ago

@Lexi girl I’m sorry it feels like no one cares. but therapists do care, they took this career path cuz they want to help people that are struggling, they made this their life’s work. don’t be afraid to show them what you feel, that’s what they’re here for. and that’s what we’re here for too, we’re a community who suffers from the same things, if you feel like you can’t vent to family or friends then vent to us! we understand you. just never bottle those feelings up.

Username: Lexi girlLexi girl

Date posted: 8w ago

@ocdsucksx Thank you so much. I appreciate the time and support you have shown me. It means a lot to know I have someone even if I feel like I don’t have anyone I know I have this community

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 18w ago

(PLEASE READ) feeling helpless

*PLEASE READ* I’ve been struggling with bad harm intrusive thoughts for a couple years now. They’ll go away for a couple of months then get triggered by something and start all over again. As much as I try to tell myself that I would never act on these thoughts I have a memory from when I was little that I was going to hurt my parents in their sleep and that memory has haunted me till now. Of course I didn’t hurt them but I thought it and I feel so guilty about it today that it makes me sick to my stomach. I love my parents so much and would never want to hurt them or anybody. I just want these thoughts to go away because they don’t line up with my values of who I am. But every time I tell myself that my thoughts are not facts that memory pops up making me feel like an awful person. I feel right now as if I don’t deserve any love from anyone because of these thoughts. I’m a believer of God and I feel as if I don’t deserve his love as well and that he has given up on me. These thoughts have also turned into a new theme of being scared I’m actually crazy and going into a psychosis. I’m just so scared and just want to be normal. As much as I tell myself ocd lies to you these thoughts have really scared me and I haven’t felt like myself in days. I’ve also struggled with health anxiety and intrusive suicidal thoughts. I know seeking reassurance isn’t good but I’m so scared.

Username: GuiltyGrapes

Date posted: 12w ago

Why am I still here?

My life has been hell, and I don’t know how to move on. I (15M) did awful things when I started high school, thinking being sexual was the way to connect. I crossed boundaries, overshared, and kept flirting with friends and making sexual jokes, even after they said no (all over text). One friend stopped talking to me and can’t even look at me now. I feel like a monster. Why shouldn’t I be locked up? If I got therapy, I feel like I’d be sent jail. How can I ever move on?Then there were these 2 guys who were older than me one was 16 one was 17. The 16 yr old was introduced to me by my online friend who is my best friend and I begged the 16 yr old for pics (idk how it started but after my friends ex randomly messaged me and sent me pictures and then blocked me right after I think I became addicted to chasing that high) the 16 yr old eventually sent me a pic but it was real and I stopped bugging him on it after that but i feel so bad I did that but my friend tells me not to feel bad cause the guy was weird but I still feel bad. Then the 17 yr old I did the same thing with him but went too far when I tried getting pics from him by using my best friends ass pics she sent me (she was 15) I don’t think I grasped how wrong this was but that’s not an excuse she eventually found it when I told her after she tried getting pics from the guy herself to try and help me and the guy got mad when she stopped talking to him cause we found it weird talking to him. I told her about how I sent the pics she said she felt sick but forgave me cause she thought I was gonna harm myself. Fast forward the guy told me after I had still been flirting with him that I s@d him (we never met in person ever) and I felt so guilty and apologized a lot and he got annoyed and told me that he had been kinda manipulative to me and kept me in a loop of mystery and I don’t talk to him anymore. But one of my other friends stopped talking to me after I was being by too emotionally taxing on him because I became very depressed and didn’t wanna life anymore and tried to stop lifing a few times. And now idk if I actually s@d someone if I did that to someone and now I think I’m a pdo and I think I s@d my baby cousins and my little brother and now I’m scared bf I can’t even get help because my parents don’t believe in therapy and even if I wanted to I’m scared because I don’t want to go to jail but I think I deserve it honestly why should a monster like me live.

Username: Lexi girl

Date posted: 10w ago

I need help

I struggle with self harm and depression. I told my doctor a week ago that I have suicidal thoughts and she put me on an anxiety/depression med and she said it could make things better or worse. I have noticed I barely eat anything anymore and I started to self harm more. I go through my day struggling and I’ve lost my friends and I stay in my room 24/7. I don’t feel like doing anything anymore. People say “oh it’ll get better” or “you’ll overcome it” or “don’t worry it’ll be okay” but guess what it’s not true. I feel like no one gets me or no one will listen to me. No one understands the pain I go through every second of the day trying my hardest to put on a fake smile. I can’t do it anymore. I want it to stop.

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Please help me. I’m so done with my life

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