Am I using OCD as an excuse, or do I really have it?

Yes it is very possible to have ocd about having ocd but you just have to learn to talk back to your intrusive thoughts and then stop the conversation. Realizing they are just a concern or a fear doesn’t make them real and ultimately by spending time obsessing over whether you have ocd is just preventing you from enjoying the present moment. I hope this helps! Sometimes the what if game is a terrible game to play!

I'm a really high achiever, and I worry about my impairments being seen as an excuse too. I realized, no matter how I wish I was not impaired, I am. So, the people in my life are just going to have to accept I have impeding challenges in my life. But if they can, I will do my absolute best for them. I will show them I make up for what I lack with my amazing abilities as well. OCD is a relevant thing in your life and thats okay! Just give it your best and accept when you are impacted. You may find there is magic that lies in your capabilites that good people can still remember on your hard days when you can't show up.

100%. i convince myself it’s made up

I relate

I feel this too

Yeah same, like at first it was obvious that it was egodystonic, but now I'm like, it doesn't feel like OCD anymore, and If I freak out it's cause I'm making myself freak out

I feel like this ALL THE TIME. it’s so scary

I suggest looking into the subtype of Meta OCD. It’s when your OCD gets OCD for some reason.

same!