ROCD - getting triggered, COMMENTS PLS!!

I spoke to my boyfriend tonight, which made me very happy :) I’m seeing him tomorrow, and I’m really looking forward to it BUT because I’m looking forward to it, my ocd is trying to ruin it 😞 already I have intrusive thoughts - ‘what if something goes wrong and I don’t enjoy my time with him’ ‘it would be the worst thing in the world to get triggered’ ‘I’m so silly thinking I could see him without being triggered or having intrusive thoughts.’ I feel very under pressured, because if I spend let’s say 4 hours with him, if I get triggered in the first 10 mins of seeing him, then the rest of the night is ruined. So, I try and control getting triggered, but I can’t. When I’m triggered, I can’t be present AT ALL, I feel so tense and everything feels wrong 😟 do I just accept I will be triggered? I’m not sure what I do in that moment! (I get triggered by comments that agree with my ocd, thanks 🙏🏻)

eric_f14

Date posted: 45w

Totally normal cycle of ROCD. The most important thing is not to let your OCD dictate your actions. Furthermore, try to implement opposite action tactics. So, if your OCD tells you not to be present, be present. If your OCD tells you to not hold his hand, hold for as long as you can. You got this! It will be better

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 45w

@eric_f14 Question, I constantly attempt this approach but my OCD is a bit too cunning and will tell me to kiss him, to touch him, to whatever else. Basically, the opposite of the opposite, I obviously want to kiss and touch him but since I’ve implemented your strategy of doing the opposite, I often find myself questioning if I’m actually doing the opposite or a compulsion. My only avoidance compulsion seems to be cancelling on him, which I’ve only given into once. The rest unfortunately seem to fall under checking compulsions. How do you deal with those? If my OCD tells me to kiss him and see how I feel, do I simply not kiss him? Or do I kiss him and do everything in my power not to check how I feel?

eric_f14

Date posted: 45w

@isshpra 🫶🏻 I would say to kiss him, anyway, but make sure not to engage in checking compulsions any way. It’s great that you recognize the compulsions beforehand. So, maybe make a game plan on what you will do when (not if) that happens

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 45w

@eric_f14 Thank you :)

meglucy

Date posted: 44w

@eric_f14 Thank you 🙏🏻

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 45w

Girl, I know what you mean. The trick is to see him anyway, and don’t let the OCD make you cancel or reschedule. This is so hard and my heart goes out to you. You have to kinda shrug it off and say maybe I’ll have intrusive thoughts maybe I won’t. When you’re there in person, I absolutely understand it’s so hard to crawl back from the hell OCD sends us to once we’ve been triggered, take a moment to gather yourself. Give yourself a set amount of time, let’s say 3 minutes. Let the emotions out simmer in the awful uncertainty and any guilt or worry, then lift up your head, tell your OCD that you’ll be back later, and hold your bfs hand, kiss him and pay attention to the details around you. The lighting, the smells, the breeze or even the floor. Stay in the current moment. If you need another 3 minutes, take them. Eventually it will feel a little easier. I’ve most overcome my ROCD but my other themes get trigger very easily and harshly around my boyfriend. The first 4 times I saw him since the beginning of my spiral, were just panic attacks the whole date. I feel so bad for him to this day bc he would drive an hour to see me and all I could do was sob and hyperventilate. I know how hard this is, but you’ve got this 🩷

meglucy

Date posted: 44w

@isshpra 🫶🏻 Thanks so much 🙏🏻 it definitely is a real struggle, but I want to beat it 💪🏻

kittea

Date posted: 25w

ROCD spiral — seeking advice

in an ROCD spiral these past few days. i have a very sweet boyfriend who i love very much but i’m so scared my OCD is gonna drive him away. i get really freaked out when he doesn’t say certain things back every time like “i love you” or “goodnight” etc and also as of late he makes jokes about like fictional women being hot and we’ve had convos about like are we not allowed to also appreciate someone else’s attractiveness without reading into it (we’ve both expressed we are monogamous—i’m also demisexual so wondering if my brain just doesn’t think the same way his does) or like he made a joke about how it would be hot to see me kissing another girl (i’m bi) and i think yeah in a perfect world where i don’t have OCD i get the logic behind not reading into these things but every time he makes these jokes or we have these convos it sends my OCD into a major spiral like. if he really loved me and only me why would he even say these things? he is just very blunt and logical and straightforward and sometimes he’s really good at gently challenging my OCD and for him he doesn’t think these things seriously like ik he would never ever cheat on me (we have had discussions about our thoughts on cheating before). but like comments that he makes like this i am sure have no meaning to him other than just jokes or pointing stuff out but my OCD spirals every time he makes them. i’m really scared of ruining this relationship because i feel like i can’t just be the chill girlfriend who doesn’t read into this stuff. please help i’m spiraling and can’t even focus on work ): and it sucks because he really otherwise shows me how much he loves me in many ways and it’s just this thing that i can’t figure out and i keep feeling like having these convos with him will drive him away. or like telling him i don’t want him to make those jokes around me will make him feel like he is walking on eggshells around me and can’t be himself and that will eventually end the relationship which i don’t want. i just want my brain to stop panicking and reading into every single thing but my brain won’t understand what is normal or okay until someone tells me it is. i’m gonna go back to therapy soon but in the interim just wanted to come here. thanks in advance for any words or insight anyone can offer ❤️

Relationship OCD

olt28

Date posted: 24w

Any tips? I’m really struggling

I have had diagnosed OCD for a while now and I’ve been really struggling with my rocd. My bf and I have been dating for almost 2 years now and it has been great mostly. (I say mostly because of I’m being honest the bad parts are me causing issues due to my rocd) lately I’ve been struggling to trust him in that he will follow through with his word. This was triggered because we had a wedding and a brunch to go to (he doesn’t know the person getting married but was going just to go with me) and he ended up not being able to go due to finals and group projects he had to end up doing work for. This is a completely understandable and reasonable excuse not to be able to attend something, but my brain is now making me feel like he would do that to anything I need him for. And he literally doesn’t. Like we’re going out of town to see family this summer and I’m scared he’ll flake out. We’ve already gotten plane tickets and everything but my brain is like what if . Again it’s so stupid because he comes through almost all the time I invite him to something and when he can’t go it’s usually due to something pretty reasonable that he didn’t foresee. Like he comes to all my family holiday events, goes and runs errands and does things when I ask, comes over everyday to spend time with me. The only times he can’t come to my house is when he has no gas money. We’re both in college and his parents don’t really support him at all so he has to use all his money he makes working during the summer towards expenses and doesn’t often get to buy things for himself and when we are in our hometown, I go to his house more because my parents pay for everything and I help him save his money because he if doesn’t have any he is truly out of luck. Soem days he won’t even eat because he had to use his money on rent of something. But he still manages to go above and behind for me. Always includes me in things he loves to do, picks flowers for me anytime he sees one and buys them when he does have money, he always writes me notes and does sweet things that he knows will make me laugh. He is such a blessing, but of course my brain only focuses on the negative :( he’s so patient with my ocd but I do get tired of bugging him with it.

niu

Date posted: 17w

ROCD on vacation. Tips?

So me and my boyfriend are going on our first short trip together and as an avoidant person who tends to be very anxious about being seen in a relationship and being in a relationship in general, it could become a very triggering experience. I have had previous OCD themes but the last few years have been very latched to the topics HOCD and ROCD. I just know that spending so much time together could lead to intrusive thoughts about him and our relationship and result in micromanaging and being irritated. Anyone tips on how to enjoy this and not put too much pressure on myself ?

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