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Hi friend! When i go through these feelings always remember myself that (especially say it out loud)i cannot control anything.I just assume that.Everything is out of control from us,and days passing by and there is no evidence of our obsessions becoming real.Dealing with ocd for 12-13 years.I absolutely cant say i am healed.I am in a very bad phase actually.But when i see someone like me (which is you :))I really wish that we could have healthy brains.You can understand, i am even stressed writing this.This life is a gift for us.We have to earn our happines with ourselves.We are a little bit different i know but we can heal,change our perspective to our obsessive thoughts.This gorgeous life needs people like you.I believe in you.🤍(sorry for my bad english and typos btw it is not my native language)

I too want to help everyone, but it's not healthy to be looking to help 100% of the time. Besides, we can't be helpful if we are engulfed in anxiety, so it's important to be healthy. Firstly, if someone absolutely needs your help specifically, they can reach out to you personally. Second, some good news is that there are others like you who are willing to help others as well; helping others is a group effort in each community -- not all the responsibility falls on one person. But don't get me wrong, it is very nice of you to want to help! I do agree that the thought of leaving someone in need is sad. One thing to remember is that if you aren't here anymore, you can't help people, you can't help yourself, and it just wouldn't be good if you weren't here for obvious reasons... If you want to talk about it, we can! I don't want to sound like I'm dismissive of your emotions either, because I understand what you mean, and I want to help everyone too.

Oh I sympathize with this so deeply. First, take this as a sign that you have a big heart. That’s truly a wonderful quality to have. And you clearly value helping others. Second, as others have said, you can’t help every single person. It’s not realistic at all. Which, for me, has been a hard pill to swallow. Especially when I hear others struggling in ways I think I can help in. But it’s also not your responsibility to help so many people. Hyper responsibility is a very very common feeling with OCD. If people want you to help, they will ask. And you can decide then if you are capable to help them. Because you won’t always be able to - financially, emotionally, etc. it’s nice to want to have all the answers, but you won’t. I fear being away from my phone in case an emergency comes through and if I miss the call, I will not be able to stop something bad from happening. It’s a tough battle. But overall, the key is work on not checking, and to learn to sit in/tolerate/handle the uncertainty. Maybe someone does need your help and you missed the opportunity, or maybe not. And truthfully, you have to prioritize yourself. And that’s ok to do! You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t stretch yourself to a breaking point. You can live a balanced life where you can follow your values of helping people, in a feasible and realistic way. I am so sorry thoughts of suicide are coming up too. I’ve had those before and they suck. If you don’t already have a therapist, I hope you can find one so you can work through this with ERP. You sound like a wonderful person and the world is lucky to have you here.