I Feel Like a Liar Who Can’t Accept the Truth

Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling a lot with my thoughts and feelings about my boyfriend. He’s an amazing person—kind, loving, and supportive—but I constantly feel like I’m faking everything. It’s like I’m a liar pretending to love him, and deep down, I don’t actually want to be with him. Whenever he tells me he loves me or shows affection, I feel guilty because I think, What if I don’t love him back? It feels so real, like the truth is staring me in the face and I’m just refusing to accept it. I keep asking myself: Am I just staying with him because I’m used to him? What if I’ve never truly loved him? What if I’m a bad person for stringing him along? I don’t feel anything when we kiss or when he’s sweet to me, and that terrifies me. Sometimes I even feel irritated by him or like I don’t want to be around him, and then the guilt becomes unbearable because I know he doesn’t deserve that. This constant analyzing is taking over my life. I can’t even tell what’s real anymore. Am I lying to myself because I’m scared to face the truth? Or is this just my anxiety distorting everything? I feel like such a horrible person for even having these thoughts. If anyone has felt like this, please let me know how you managed to deal with it. I’m exhausted and just want to feel like myself again. he is also at my house amd i feel numb he tries to make me understand that i do like him and i feel so bad.

Username: Iwanttobreakfree🦋Iwanttobreak...

Date posted: 6d ago

I could have written that myself. I'm sorry, I don't have any answer or suggestion, I'm trying to navigate all these feelings too, but just know that you are not alone. I hope things will get better for you🫶

Username: Willowbee&MarsWillowbee&Mars

Date posted: 6d ago

Same, I also feel like I just read what I would have written. You're def not alone and it makes me feel less alone you feel this way too, it's gotten so bad lately that I don't know what I really feel and it's near debilitating. I feel comfortable telling him a lot about my OCD but this is the one thing I don't. But I've had this come and go before, sometimes it stays longer. I'm planning on working up the courage to tell my therapist so she can help guide me in the right direction with this. Mindfulness exercises help a little bit, and same with doing things I enjoy/hobby.

Username: NotfunNotfun

Date posted: 6d ago

I’ve been there’s so much I feel you I’m so sorry I know how much this hurts trust me I know it feels no one sees or feels you but I truly do

Username: NotfunNotfun

Date posted: 6d ago

@Notfun Remember love is a choice most important not just a feeling love is to choice that person every single day you wake up for better or worse no matter what love is a choice

Username: agonzalez16agonzalez16

Date posted: 2d ago

You took the words right out of my mouth. I am currently experiencing this so I’m sorry to tell you I also don’t know what to do but I feel you. I feel like I have finally met someone so loving and caring and I’m doing my hardest to love him. And I do love him he’s like my best friend but I don’t feel infatuation. I feel comfort, safety, but then I think what if there’s someone out there that can love him better than me? Am I taking that away from him? I don’t want to hurt him. He’s a beautiful soul. But I do agree that love is a choice. But even my whole body feels this unbearable warmth.

Username: MariabaeMariabae

Date posted: 2d ago

@agonzalez16 its so hard because o want to show love, i show it but its hard to be horny or do couple stuff , i have a weird feeling in me that dosent go away, i try to avoid it, one day im fine the other im not, this is not the real me i dont want to give my thoughts control even when it feels bad

Username: agonzalez16agonzalez16

Date posted: Yesterday

@Mariabae Yeah sometimes that can happen. People usually say that can be normal in a relationship. Love isn’t all about being “intimate”. And I’ve also been having a weird feeling. I have to tell myself, these are just thoughts. And i try to think about all the good things my boyfriend does and how i appreciate him. I’m just trying to take it one day at a time now.

Username: avaviolet

Date posted: 21w ago

Rocd

It feels so real it's been going on for a month now. I really don't think I love him. I don't feel In love and a lot of the time I'm scared I don't even want to love him again. I want it back I want my feelings back for him he's so perfect and he doesn't deserve this. How do I love him again. Everyone says that the way I act even when I'm deep in a spiral probe I love him but I just don't know. He's only been in my life for a year and it's gone way too fast. I miss how it was and what we were. Every time he's upset I get so scared he's gonna break up with me and then I feel better because I don't want to break up with him and I'm happy I know that. I just don't want to not love him. I'm so so scared. I think I'm js worrying about him going on holiday in q couple of weeks becauwe it's worse when he's not here. How do I love my perfect handsome boy again? I've loved him 5 years and we've been together for almost 1. It's gone too quick. I thought we would be forever. I really want it back and idk whats wrong with me. Help.

Username: stxrmads

Date posted: 21w ago

end of relationship

someone please reach out im really not doing okay and this is the closest i think ive come to making the decision that ny relationship needs to end but i cant do it. it's gotten so bad that even being around my boyfriend doesn't calm me down or make me feel better out these feelings, it just makes me feel like they're more real. im not confident that I'm just dealing with ocd at all. I'm so worried that my relationship is beyond repair and that I've fallen out of love because of resentment from problems we have. I don't know what love feels like how do I even know and yeah I know lo e isn't a feeling it's a choice but it's so hard to make choices let alone the correct ones when I'm doubting every aspect of our lives and relationship. I don't want to prolong the inevitable and make us both more miserable until we decide to finally end it but I don't want to end it if things can get better and I will feel normal again and in love. not guilty every time I say I love you because then I have the thought that I shouldn't say it because I don't know anymore. How do I talk to him about this. I bring it up but then I gloss it over with a reason that is more understandable and true but less painfu then "I don't know if im falling out of love or even what love feels like and I don't even know myself anymore so I don't know how I feel" and then we kinda comfort eachother until we get too sleepy to stay awake. I know OCD messes with your brain and can make feelings feel so real when they aren't and thoughts that aren't logical make the most sense. I know how it works but having OCD doesn't mean you can't experience the same things other people experience in relationships. So how do you know the difference.

Relationship OCD

Username: laurfe7

Date posted: 18w ago

feel like giving up…

I know I love my boyfriend but I have this constant weight in my chest then I get anxious that I don’t actually love him. What can I do 😭😭 We almost broke up yesterday and I finally had some emotion to the fact of him leaving bc of my rocd. I lost it. I don’t want to lose him but I have no feelings towards him. I’m not excited, I am fearful. I’m scared. Please help me

Relationship OCD

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I Feel Like a Liar Who Can’t Accept the Truth

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