i am distressed and panicked

My rocd is making me disconected from my boyfriend thinking he is cringe and that i dont know him or i dont like him for real, making me question the times i was happy thinking i was pretending and i was just thinking i am happy and in love but i wasnt… when i think abt my boyfriend i cant feel happiness… im scared. Yesterday we talked he said he is happy when we talked he sais how happy he is and that if i dont feel the same i should not panic (hw knows about my thoughts) i am so sad, i dont want to be like this forever, im scared

Username: Lena1998Lena1998

Date posted: Yesterday

You're either scared of losing or scared of hurting him and that's why your OCD is latching onto these thoughts. Try to understand that it's very, very normal to question a relationship, have doubts, have days where they annoy you or days where you feel like you need space. What's important to remember is these randomly generated thoughts aren't reality. They don't reflect your or your desires as a person.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Hi, I have rocd and I have been there! A lot actually lol. I learned that my ocd started because I have a fear of loosing my boyfriend, this is the first time I see myself spending the rest of my life with someone and because of things that have happend in the past my im subconsciously trying to protect myself without even wanting to, my brain is so scared of getting hurt that i developed ocd ( idk exactly how it work, so don’t take this to be exact) it looks like your looking for reassurance in this post, and from on ocd person to the next i feel it’s best if that’s not how we respond to you. But just know you’re not alone, I’m scared to, and frankly I’m sad. And I miss the old me. But I’m in recovery and I’m trying very hard, so just make the best next steps for you. No more reassurance, no more compulsions, just actively push to get better for you.

Username: MariabaeMariabae

Date posted: 22h ago

@Anonymous so, i have to just let the thought and bad feelings be there

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 22h ago

@Mariabae In the best way possible yeah, for example I have ROCD and SOOCD a few months ago when I didn’t realize I had a OCD I was googling stuff all day every day having constant panic attacks my resting heart rate was around 115 bpm, I felt like my whole world was crumbling inside of me. The version of me that I once knew the beliefs that I once had was gone. The only moments of relief I could find where where I would relate to something online, and then I would feel better, but I only ever felt better temporarily. I would seek reassurance from others and the cycle would go on and on and on and on. Until that reassurance didn’t even last a minute. That’s when I found this program. And I started learning. I found what was best for me was not necessarily Erp but just sitting with the discomfort and agreeing with your intrusive thoughts, you should give your intrusive thoughts and name. Make it a silly name say things like “ thank you silly Willy for trying to protect me right now, but I’ve got this on my own” Because the more you don’t reinforce it, the more the OCD will try to latch but you just can’t let it win. It will get worse before it gets better. This has been the most uncomfortable thing I have ever experience. and probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. The uncomfortable thoughts that make you feel distress, it feels so real and I get that we all do. But you really just have to not engage. The one hint of reassurance that I will give you is that you’re not alone and if you ever need to reach out to me, you can. And a phrase that I like to remember, is when you have OCD, you are least likely that your OCD is true.

Username: MariabaeMariabae

Date posted: 22h ago

@Anonymous i hate this, it feels too real i cant ve happy when i see him in just thinking of how i dont like him and i panic everytime

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 22h ago

@Mariabae I know, it’s so hard, Sooo hard! Just try to remind yourself that everything is going to be ok “or maybe it won’t”, once again you really have to play with it, treat it like there’s another person in your head. I don’t know if you’re going to therapy in this program but it’s truly great. I would recommend it.

Username: issphra 🫶🏻issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 19h ago

Let me share some advice my therapist gave me, because I notice you frequently post about similar intrusive thoughts OCD throws at you. Write it down. Open your notes app or grab a notebook, and brainstorm every single thing OCD says to you. For example: • “You think your boyfriend is embarrassing.” • “You don’t love your boyfriend.” • “You’re faking your feelings and attraction.” • “You find him disgusting.” • “You’ll never truly be happy.” • “You’re a bad person for having these thoughts.” • “You’re lying to yourself about everything.” Write it all down—every intrusive thought, no matter how upsetting or repetitive. When you find yourself panicking or spiraling, go back to your list. Remind yourself: OCD has said this before, and it will say it again because OCD thrives on repetition. It’s like a broken record playing the same lies over and over. If a new intrusive thought pops up, add it to the list. That way, you can immediately recognize it as just another thing OCD says to mess with you. Look at it and think, Yeah, OCD, maybe—but right now I’m going to let it pass and focus on the moment in front of me. By doing this, you’ll start to see the patterns in OCD’s attacks. It makes it easier to disengage, reminding yourself that it’s just noise from a disorder, not reality. I hope this helps, even just a little.

Username: 1twilightloverr1twilightloverr

Date posted: 14h ago

@issphra 🫶🏻 hi i’m going thru a really bad spiral since i started my new job since being employed and as soon as i got the job it was like a switch about my feeling w my bf. im not very good with change. ive gone thru my worst spiral in october and i feel like im falling back but this really helps. i’m not sure if i have OCD but i do know that these methods always work and calm me down. thank u for sharing

Username: issphra 🫶🏻issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 13h ago

@1twilightloverr Oh yeah definitely starting a new job or any changes can cause so much more stress than we’re aware of, that stress leads to emotional numbness and exacerbates OCD so badly. It’s so hard, but I hope once you get used to it a bit more, it’ll settle down. I’m glad my comment was helpful to you :))

Username: MariabaeMariabae

Date posted: 10h ago

@issphra 🫶🏻 its scarry bc i am wondering if it ia truly rocd or im just lying to mysekf not wanting to accept the truth bc it feels real, i know its bad to post here and its a compulsion but i cant help myself from not doing that. i cant go to therapy and i feel so sad ans bad abt everything. im just so acared

Username: 1twilightloverr1twilightloverr

Date posted: an hour ago

@Mariabae i see u a lot on here and i was like you a few months ago. i promise it gets better but you really have to put in the mental work. posting on here all the time will bring temporary relief but you have to really look at what you want and if you want your bf and you’re getting upset about this then stay with your bf. you’ll notice less thinking will bring more happiness

Username: anonysheis

Date posted: 25w ago

so tired

I’m so scared all the time that maybe i am just in denial. The voice started one day and it never leeft. Whenn i was at my happiest in my relationship all i could hear was a voice being like ur a lesbian, u don’t even like men, everything is fake, nothing was real u just didn’t know it. Then we broke up and all the voices went away and i was devastated because i missed him. Fast forward 2 years we made it work again and i was so happy and now i’m happy the voices are back. But when i’m with him they go away a little, i naturally gravitate toward touching him and being around him and being turned on but then when i’m alone my head is like none of it was real, you hated it, you’re a lesbian, you only like women, you’re. not attracted to men anymore. Is this normal for SOCD? or am i just in denial? i’ve only ever dated men, and i’ve really loved my partners, being intimidate has never been hard. I don’t know what to do. It’s all i think about all day when i’m alone.

Username: shrimpeasy

Date posted: 24w ago

harm ocd

im crying hard right now im so scared. i haven’t cried like this or really at all since the thoughts started happening… im so scared im gonna act on them. i just want it all to stop..

Username: toey

Date posted: 20w ago

Help rocd/hocd

It feels like my boyfriend is ‘another compulsion” because he makes me happy and that is what ocd does, but when he is gone, my mind can go everywhere. Mostly thinking im not attracted to men (im bi and for some reason i feel like i have to choose 1 gender, and that that would be women) even though i know that i dont have to choose and can just be happy with my bf. But then my mind can go “but are you happy” or “youre not aroused right now or aroused enough so your gay or you dont like bf” Thats really hard, because my one of my biggest fears is being with a man all my life (having a family etc) and then falling in love with a woman and throw it all away. I really really love my boyfriend, but it can feel like this is not my real identity and im doing the wrong thing. Like when im not thinking about it, if thats maybe my ocd and not the overthinking. Does anyone understand?

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i am distressed and panicked

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