Religious OCD?

I’m embarrassed writing about this looking back now it was all so uncalled for and down right crazy, a few years ago I was convinced I had “sold my soul” to the devil i prayed on my knees sobbing begging god to forgive me. I was scared to even say “Satan” in my head and when I did I would hit myself trying to stop and I couldn’t stop so I looked crazy slapping myself, i even looked up “how to sell your soul” to make sure I didn’t? But then got scared after I read about two sentences on “how to sell your soul” then convinced myself I really did sell my soul. After confiding in my mom she blamed it on my “phone” and I agreed cause that’s such an easier thing to say it “explains it” but it wasn’t my phone it was just me and that’s so much harder to explain. For about two days my mom was my anchor reassuring me letting me sleep in her bed, but that was short lived after three days she was over it and openly talked about putting me in a psych ward, and like anyone would be I was scared so I put on a face that i was okay but really this “episode” lasted three months and I was alone and scared, and even though it’s been a few years sense this “incident” when I think about “Satan” I have to say a prayer in my head and pinch myself.

Fiona_apple

Date posted: 29w

Honestly I would just love some advice, this was a few years ago so why is it still effecting me? It’s not to the same extent but it still controls some aspect of my life, Shouldn’t I be over this? Haven’t I grown?

bsm1972

Date posted: 29w

If you feel guilt about this it is a sign that the Holy Spirit is dwelling in you and working on you, if the Holy Spirit is within you then you are saved, I get what you are going through. The enemy creates doubt and fear. Nothing can separate us from our Lord.

Anonymous

Date posted: 29w

That’s my intrusive thought. I honestly never thought I’d meet someone with the same thoughts plaguing them. For me, it came out of the blue when I was in middle school and traumatized me for years. My shield and my anchor have been these two things 1) The certainty that, should I pick up pen and paper, write that contract and even sign it, it would never happen. The idea that one might have done it is the hard part, but I see it like this - a priest told me that a sin requires full conscience of the choice and explicit consent. For me, I feared I might have done it based on a thought that appeared for a moment and then was gone, leaving me in doubt. In this scenario, neither of the two conditions for actually committing the act are met. 2 ) I was told that these abhorrent obsessions are so frightening because they represent the opposite of who you are. This gives me peace, knowing that here’s the proof I could never do it. In addition, I was once told by a fellow church-community member, that people who suffer from mental conditions where they are not in control of their mind cannot be held responsible for their thoughts and have a first class ticket to Heaven. Sending you good thoughts and will keep you in my prayers

anonymous_us...

Date posted: 18w

sold your soul

I am really worried about this, I have OCD but I feel like this isn't OCD. It didn't even have the usual intrusive feeling anymore. I woke up, then was wide awake, my phone was dead so wasn't recording for proof and I really think something was next to me and was saying I "can eat if I sell my soul", and I was like no no, and then it was asking like, how about something else, that you can't do on your own, (like Robert Johnson myth), and with how real it seemed, and those aren't even the way my thoughts go even the intrusive thoughts cause of how long its been, it was no to food then that was brought up, I am so worried it happened, it seemed so real that it had to have been. I am now so terrified that I sold my soul and now I don't know what to do. I can't get help, or eat, or do anything that will benefit me in anyway because it must be from me selling my soul. i know people say you can't sell your soul, but lots of people think you can and no one knows for certain! this wasn't how it ever is at all and it must've happened! is there anyway to get it back if it did happen?