Thoughts

How do make my thoughts less negative?

@Anonymous - Have you looked into ERP therapy before? It's the type of therapy considered to be the most effective for OCD, where you learn to sit with unwanted thoughts and anxiety. Over time those thoughts will eventually come up less often, but that shouldn't be your immediate goal. When we try to force thoughts away, or force them to change, we only reinforce the cycle. Look up the "Ironic Process Theory" by Daniel Wegner, which states that when we try to *not* think a certain thought, all that does is put us on high alert for that thought, which primes the brain to bring it up more often. Instead of making your negative thoughts less negative, try focusing your attention on thoughts that are already positive. Allow the negative thoughts to come and go. You don't have to do anything about them. When you do get caught up in a negative thought, simply acknowledge it, and then turn your attention to something else. That can be a positive thought, or it can be your physical sensations or surroundings. For instance if a thought makes you feel anxious, acknowledge it, and then turn your attention to your body and notice what it feels like to be anxious. Just notice how it physically feels without adding any additional thoughts or stories on top of it. Treat it like a research experiment, where you are learning what anxiety feels like in your particular body. Even if you get a thousand negative thoughts, just keep acknowledging and then focusing your attention elsewhere. Your goal is to learn that it's okay for negative thoughts to arise as long as you don't grasp onto them or resist them. They will come and they will go, just like how the thought of what you want to eat for dinner comes and goes. It's about non-engagement. Over time, because you aren't paying so much attention to these thoughts, they will arise less often. But that won't happen until you accept that they're there in the first place, and that you can continue living your life despite them being there.

@djflorio I never done erp because it hard finding a therapist

@Anonymous - It is hard :( NOCD has therapists covered under a wide array of health insurances if you have it. Otherwise you can check Zocdoc or Psychology Today. If you're unable to afford a therapist, there are a lot of free videos about ERP online. The YouTube channel called "OCD and Anxiety" has a lot of content you can watch.