- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I relate to this so hard. No matter what tool I used to try to help myself, the ocd eats it and turns it against me. I know reassurance isn't good, but I think some reassurance can be used for grounding. Not for me anymore, my brain will find any loop hole in any logic that other people try to give me and tear the whole idea to shreds. My brain is set on the idea that I'm a lesbian now, my past means nothing to my hocd.
- Date posted
- 5y
It's really illogical. Well I am sure I'm straight but I get the gay thoughts still. But no interest in girls. But the OCD is rather like "recovery OCD". When I tell my thoughts that they are OCD (it was a part of the treatment to tell that to the thoughts), my brain takes this as compulsion. Like I would be reassuring myself by saying "it is just OCD". Sometimes I don't get the idea of distinguishing the recovery tools and compulsions
- Date posted
- 5y
Me too. I get confused between what are compulsions, what is reassurance, and what can actually help me.
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 Yeah, I find it weird. My mind is constantly looking for ways to overcome OCD and sometimes I accidentally start accepting the thoughts and OCD loses its power. It's weird
- Date posted
- 5y
@tttamme I've accepted the thoughts, but it doesn't make the ocd lose its power for me. Maybe I'm in an in between phase, but I've accepted the idea of being a lesbian and I'm not any less stressed than I was before.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah, OCD definitely correlates directly with life changes, anxiety etc. Think of it as our brain’s way of coping with stress. That’s literally all it is. Let me know the next time your OCD is bad when everything in life is going good work, family etc. That’s why we have to be ready to accept that’s the way we are built so that when things happen and change throughout life (and they most definitely will as we all know) we get better and better at managing our coping mechanism of whatever OCD has latched on to at that time. Embrace your OCD, get to know it up close and in person so it’s not so big and bad anymore. You’ll weaken it. Another tip from me is when you are in the midst of a life change, high anxiety etc and your OCD is full throttle, try not to practice exposure therapy during that time. Resists compulsions, but don’t necessarily go looking and checking. OCD wants you to do that at that time because it knows you’re in a weak state. Better yet, practice exposure, CBT etc with your psychologist or when anxiety is low. Stay positive ✊?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 19w
I have had ocd for decades! Could I still be cured???? (Of you can call it that?) I have seen different therapists but it never had fully left me...not by any stretch of the imagination. I do want to be free of this ocd and its power over me and all the bad that it brought into my life!!! Some days I am strong and feel like I am fighting it put other days...many days...I don't get things done or if I do I take a long time to-do the things I need to get done. I feel like I know this is just then ocd stopping me and that these are just thoughts but nobody in my family understands and though they have shared my journey and hated it a I do.....it just feels like I want so bad to be the best person I coukd be but I avoid places, people, things, that have any reminder of my ocd.......and so it restricts me from getting better and completing tasks the way I used to. Now UI might go and make 2-3 trips cuz I am worried to shop at a place and therefore it takes my time up. The avoidance I do is bad! When I actually don't listen to my ocd and don't avoid something...I feel great! ,However, it happens so rarely!!! I.dont know how finding a therapist through NOCD will help me. It is not in person and two be honest I almost think I need medicine to push me along. I don't have anybsteady and consistent improvements. However, I don't think I want to be on medication for the rest of my life! I am very confused!
- Date posted
- 14w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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