- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I relate to this so hard. No matter what tool I used to try to help myself, the ocd eats it and turns it against me. I know reassurance isn't good, but I think some reassurance can be used for grounding. Not for me anymore, my brain will find any loop hole in any logic that other people try to give me and tear the whole idea to shreds. My brain is set on the idea that I'm a lesbian now, my past means nothing to my hocd.
- Date posted
- 5y
It's really illogical. Well I am sure I'm straight but I get the gay thoughts still. But no interest in girls. But the OCD is rather like "recovery OCD". When I tell my thoughts that they are OCD (it was a part of the treatment to tell that to the thoughts), my brain takes this as compulsion. Like I would be reassuring myself by saying "it is just OCD". Sometimes I don't get the idea of distinguishing the recovery tools and compulsions
- Date posted
- 5y
Me too. I get confused between what are compulsions, what is reassurance, and what can actually help me.
- Date posted
- 5y
@hateocd123 Yeah, I find it weird. My mind is constantly looking for ways to overcome OCD and sometimes I accidentally start accepting the thoughts and OCD loses its power. It's weird
- Date posted
- 5y
@tttamme I've accepted the thoughts, but it doesn't make the ocd lose its power for me. Maybe I'm in an in between phase, but I've accepted the idea of being a lesbian and I'm not any less stressed than I was before.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah, OCD definitely correlates directly with life changes, anxiety etc. Think of it as our brain’s way of coping with stress. That’s literally all it is. Let me know the next time your OCD is bad when everything in life is going good work, family etc. That’s why we have to be ready to accept that’s the way we are built so that when things happen and change throughout life (and they most definitely will as we all know) we get better and better at managing our coping mechanism of whatever OCD has latched on to at that time. Embrace your OCD, get to know it up close and in person so it’s not so big and bad anymore. You’ll weaken it. Another tip from me is when you are in the midst of a life change, high anxiety etc and your OCD is full throttle, try not to practice exposure therapy during that time. Resists compulsions, but don’t necessarily go looking and checking. OCD wants you to do that at that time because it knows you’re in a weak state. Better yet, practice exposure, CBT etc with your psychologist or when anxiety is low. Stay positive ✊?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I dont know what to do anymore. I think Ive had the 'pure O' version of OCD for more than ten years. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted from this disease. For the longest time I just tried to ignore the intrusive thoughts, and push them off as anxiety, and basically dissociated for years of my life. Feels like Ive just been on autopilot and a shell of myself for nearly 15 years. Its actually hard to even imagine of all the experiences, emotions, connections with others, and personal growth that Ive missed out on- if I do, I think it would be too much to handle. I think Ive even forgot and dont even know at this point what it is to live a normal life and experience positive emotions. Now that I sought treatment for it specifically, it feels like it's gotten worse. Like by acknowledging that part of myself, suddenly added focus just makes it more real and in the forefront now. I wonder if I am actually going insane. Will not go into details for reassurance but the thoughts just rip my soul out. Its so difficult as well because I will get random 'clarity moments' throughout the day where I feel like Ive solved something, then get completely derailed by another OCD thought stream and forget everything. It feels like Im just on a merry-go-round of hell, not going anywhere thinking I am at times.
- Date posted
- 20w
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
- Date posted
- 20w
Hey everyone, just wanted to post an honest update on where I’m at in my HOCD recovery. Right now, I'm stuck in what feels like a 24/7 spike — nonstop thoughts, intrusive sensations, identity doubts, and hyperfocus. The worst part? It feels real. Like I’ve “lost,” like I’ve accepted it, like I am gay. The thoughts don't feel like anxiety anymore — they feel like truth. I’ve been trying to do ERP, but the spike has been so constant I don’t even have to “do exposures” — the thoughts, feelings, and sensations are just there all day long. It’s like living inside an exposure. And it’s exhausting. BUT — here’s what I’ve been doing (and what I’m sticking to now): I say once: “These thoughts and feelings are welcome to stay for as long as they want.” I let the doubt, the feelings, the hyperfocus exist. I don’t check, test, or analyze — even when it screams at me. I live my life anyway — folding clothes, watching TV, eating, walking — with the storm in my head. Even when it feels 100% real. Even when I’m fully focused on it. I’ve stopped trying to feel better. I’m letting it all burn — and just not fixing it. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like progress.
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