- Date posted
- 33w
Battling ROCD
I suffer from a really bad case of ROCD. I am constantly afraid to do anything wrong towards my boyfriend and our relationship, such as cheating, lying, or hiding things, and my compulsion is to talk to him about those doubts. I once used to think that acting on these compulsions was in both of our best interests, but I now understand that it is not his responsibility to take this weight out of my shoulders, and this time, truly in both of our best interests, I fight myself daily so that at least one of us can be free and most importantly, happy. For the sake of my relationship, lately, I've tried my best to hide my pain and as my main goal for this year's, I promised to try my best. But it is a really hard and time-consuming task for me to do on a daily basis. I crave the need to talk to him and this feeling is eating me alive. It is preventing me of living the life I deserve and it is confining me to my own daily prison. At the moment, my only yet, so small little relief is to write my thoughts on this app. I'm having a really hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I indeed do not need to disclose anything and everything to my boyfriend, as I am not doing anything wrong. Instead, i know i’m trying my best to do everything right.