Anyone else with HOCD get thoughts of like "people in denial try to distract themselves" or anything along those lines when just trying to move on from the thoughts. Having a pretty bad episode this morning at least anxiety wise.
Nope, you aren’t alone. I experience this as well
Yeah I've had that. It's just more intrusive thoughts and taunting from OCD. It can be so relentless sometimes trying to throw different things at you when it notices you are moving on from thoughts and not engaging with them. I respond to it all the same way, with my ERP tools. It's just OCD putting on a different hat to try and fool you and keep you distressed and engaged. I'm sorry it's got you so anxious today. Big hug to you. Be gentle with yourself. I'm here if you need to chat or vent!
@Andrea Wells It's distressing as fuck. My anxiety isn't as high but then I start to worry and want the heart palpitations there or the gagging whenever I have a groinal or a false attraction. It's more or less depressing when I only want it to be gone and want to go back to my only concern being what video game i attend to for the evening
@Andrea Wells The physical stuff is lowered and what not but my brain won't stop. It feels so fucking real
@Luke_McElwee - Yeah, it feels SO real. Even if part of you somewhere knows it's not. It feels real anyway. I'm sorry it's so distressing. I know what you mean how you just want like a "normal" life back where you just worry about what video game to enjoy and not worrying about these horrifying thoughts. I'm a gamer too and I have always felt so like... ripped off? When my OCD got in the way of me enjoying gaming. Do you have an ERP therapist? ERP therapy has helped me a ton.
@Andrea Wells I have seen someone but he's pretty booked up so it might be like once a month at most. Meeting with my first NOCD therapist td
@Luke_McElwee - Oh that's exciting you're seeing your first NOCD therapist today! I did general therapy for a while and it helped with some things but it never helped with my intrusive thoughts or OCD. It wasn't until I got into ERP that I started noticing a big improvement. Congrats on getting started today! You're a big step closer to finding relief from this mental torture.
Moving on from the thoughts means accepting that they are there and not trying to change them or make the thoughts go away. Let them be there and learn that you can live with it. There are also lost of good tips on the Patrick McGrath Wednesday night webinar on the NOCD page on YouTube. Or really any NOCD webinar can be helpful. Go ahead and check out some of the videos. In addition you can contact NOCD for a free 15 minute call to discuss further. They can offer more detail than I can here. https://www.treatmyocd.com/about-us/contact-us
So for a while i have been suffering of HOCD combined with a little of ROCD and had massive episodes of anxiety and panic attacks, because of that I lost my attraction and my libido while also being in a relationship and that stresses me bad. Also since the start of the severe anxiety I started to lose it gradually over time and at the moment I do not feel any anxiety anymore while having these thoughts which makes me think that I want this to happen because they don’t disgust me anymore. Any advices on how to hold on and get over my OCD? Also is the disappearing of disgust a sign of recovery or denial?
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
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