Anyone else on here have obsessions surrounding work (doing your job perfectly, getting in trouble at work, losing your job, etc.)?

Does anyone have OCD regarding always feeling like you are not good enough at your job? I'm 58 years old now I've had OCD since childhood. Every job I've been at I never felt as good as my colleagues. I am a nurse but I worked at that for 15 years I had a breakdown of sorts in 2017 and went on disability. I now work part time as a a swim instructor for kids. I always was afraid of killing someone when I was a nurse. Then I tried dog grooming but I was afraid I would do it wrong and hurt the dogs. At least now the stakes are lower. But my OCD is the same. I work with colleagues who are about 40 years younger than I am . I am afraid of teaching certain classes bc I feel like I wouldn't do as good a job as someone else. I know I can do it but it's like I have a fear of not giving them their money's worth. I've been at my current job for 2 years . I've gotten very positive comments from my managers but I can't seem to believe them. I feel a lot of shame bc I lost a lot of my life to OCD and I am at an age where people are starting to retire after long and successful careers and here I am working at an entry level job. I'm planning on trying to get out of my comfort zone and teaching some of the classes I'm afraid of .it's really hard. I'm always scared what if I lose my benefits and had to work again as a nurse how would I do it.

Lately I have been engaging is a very vicious mental cycle of not being as productive as I wanted to at work, worrying my boss with notice and get mad at me or fire me, and then feeling like I have to “figure out” how to “fix myself” and be more productive. I come up with detailed elaborate plans and lists for everything I need to do and fix to be a good person. I have a lot of negative thoughts that are very distressing to me and basically I am a horrible person if I don’t “fix myself” via making these plans. For me, oddly, it’s not about doing the things, it’s about making the list. I do research on how to be more productive and have this need to make the perfect plan that will solve my problems. And then once I make the list I feel better (temporarily, of course). All of the mental energy put into the researching and planning is so draining that it begins to negatively impact my work… and the cycle continues!!! I feel like this is not a “normal” obsession or intrusive thought that people with OCD have, so I guess I am trying to figure out if it could be OCD? This is a very consistent thing I have been experiencing since probably around 8th grade?? So 5+ years now. It’s always the never feeling like I’m good enough and then the compulsory planning until I felt like I had a good enough plan to fix myself. Thanks in advance!! Disclaimer: I have not been diagnosed with OCD but I suspect I have OCD/Pure O or OCPD and many people in my life agree. Obviously this is not my only reason for thinking I have OCD lol

I always have fears about getting fired from work and constantly rechecking my old work. I think about 24/7 and how im going to make an enormous mistake that ruins the company and gets me fired. Then, if any type of mistake does happen I let it ruin my day. Ill look back at the past mistake and beat myself up over it. Any suggestions for mindfulness approaches?