- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It is definitely one of my main obsessions too. OCD often tells me I’m a fraud and don’t deserve the job I have. Every time I have a triggering experience at work, OCD tells me I have done something terribly wrong; that I’m not qualified to supervise or mentor others; that I’m a hypocrite and have made unforgivable mistakes.
Yes. Omg yes. This is one of my biggest obsessions. Now I’m the person that does the firing and write ups ironically. Every once in a while, when I’m doing better, I get in this attitude where I don’t care (usually if I get mad at my job) and say I’ll walk out if I have to and shred any write ups they try to give me but that’s ONLY because I know they need me more than I need them. If the situation was any different, and I was in a lower level position, I’d struggle a lot more again with that obsession.
This is one of my main obsessions. I am successful in my field but my OCD makes me feel like a fraud. Remember: OCD attacks what is important to you.
Same. I go through horrible scenarios in my mind about losing my job and becoming unemployable, etc.
Yes. I used to rip my exposures into several pieces and throw them away in different garbage cans so no one could put them together. Honestly, planned exposure helps but resisting compulsions helps even more. It hurts a lot but you will get better if you don’t give OCD it’s fuel.
I don't have a job because I'm scared of getting fired for doing stuff wrong constantly...
Any ideas for exposures I can do around this obsession?
My therapist has me write out scripts about my fears coming true. I read one of them once a day for 20 minutes. Just as important: try not to do compulsions. For me, that means resisting urges to check and confess.
Yes! Confessing is a HUGE compulsion for me. Especially since I just took a new role a few months ago. My therapist has asked me to write down my exposure narratives and I tried it once but got paranoid someone would find them and freaked out and ripped them up. I should probably try again.
I am also now in a position where I am doing the firing and write-ups for my department, but I work for a large umbrella company so there are still people above me and still possibilities for me to get in trouble/fired. I thought that being promoted to this position would help to ease my anxiety around being fired or written up, but it has actually made it worse. OCD is telling me that now that I’ve gotten where I always wanted to be in my career, it could be ripped out from under me at any moment, if I am anything less than perfect.
You know when you have weird thoughts about a coworker and because you have OCD these thoughts really stick and you panic and feel sick? Yeah that’s me and I’ve struggled with having intrusive thoughts about my coworker and now he just got in a relationship with my coworker and my intrusive thoughts are WORSE I thought they would be better? And initially they were because I was relieved that he couldn’t be weird with me now because he has a girlfriend. But this is the thought that i cannot get over- my OCD is like you’re jealous that he doesn’t like you and he’s not with you instead and i envy this girl he is with. Why the fuck am I having these thoughts while I’m in a healthy relationship and love my boyfriend to DEATH- like I know he is my forever. I couldn’t look at him today because I’ve been obsessing over this thought I’ve had in work and now I have to find a new job I hope no one will judge me for these thoughts or maybe someone has had this weird thought before? :(
Hello! I am really looking for some advice. I have been struggling with OCD for a few years now and it drastically affects my daily life. I am going to give a quick run through of my OCD, and then the current situation I am in now. So for almost 2 years now my most prominent themes of OCD have been getting sick with the stomach bug (emetaphobia) and watching someone die/ having to see large amount of blood or do CPR on someone (I just graduated nursing school). Last year I stopped eating out, wouldn’t touch any of my food with my hands, would wash my hands until they bleed every day, bleached everything I touched when I was in public etc… I would have these major panic attacks all the time and the thought of getting sick hasn’t left my head 24/7 for 2 years. I was unable to complete my nursing school clinicals due to panic attacks each time I was at the hospital afraid someone would die and get these terrible images in my head. I didn’t sleep ever, barely graduated. I did ERP after school and was able to make up the clinical days I missed. Got to a point where I was eating again, felt like I was able to get my hands clean just by washing them. I have been doing exposures every day, and have accepted that getting sick will probably happen at one point and I am okay with it as long as I am at home when it happens. So locking myself in my apartment for 48hr every time after I could have been exposed to the stomach bug is major progress for me and I have been overall doing much better. Fast forward to now: It’s time for me to start my new job on a med/surg floor in a hospital. This week I have made it through a few days of orientation with panic attacks day and night but I am doing it even though I am petrified. I don’t feel ready for this big of a step, being exposed to both of my biggest fears constantly. Today at orientation the girl sitting next to me told me she had been vomiting all day, and continued to run out of the room a vomit the rest of the day. I now am 90% sure I am going to get sick and feel as if I would rather die than continue this amount of stress and anxiety I have felt from just a few days of being on the job. This is my BIGGEST fear and it’s coming true and I don’t know if it’s worth putting myself through this every day at work to just be having constant panic attacks and be miserable. I know with OCD you have to face your fears but I have been pushing myself and trying so hard and I don’t feel like it’s worth it to work this job. I would also feel incredibly guilty for quitting on the first week, but there are a million other nursing jobs that are not in a hospital. I think this is too big of a step for me right now but I wanted to see what others think. Any advice at all is so appreciated!
Ive recently been having a lot of intrusive thoughts again and Im scared it’ll make everything catastrophic for me at work since I work a lot with people. Like what if I say something completely inappropriate or cant think fast enough in a high stress situation?
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