Thoughts make sense

I've always found women pretty and admired them since I was younger, never wanted to be with them or anything. I always pictured having a boyfriend and my crushes were always boys. I have a boyfriend now but because this has happened I feel nothing towards him or any men. To be honest I'm so exhausted I don't feel much at all, there was so much anxiety at the start and now there is none. Does that mean I have accepted the thoughts. My mind keeps going you were suppressed all these years but I do find women pretty so that's what's making it worse. Am I just in denial and being delusional? I never doubted my sexuality before this I always considered myself to be straight but I feels like my mind has been twisted and can't remember any attraction to guys but can remember thinking girls are pretty? Does this mean it's all real? I don't know anymore

Loveconquers...

Date posted: 23w

Hi, you’re searching for reassurance and that isn’t good for your thoughts. Do you know what response prevention statements is?

Anonymous123

Date posted: 23w

No I'm not sure what that is?

Loveconquers...

Date posted: 23w

Now, I suffer from HOCD and this morning I got into a crisis thinking the same thing how I don’t feel anything for my husband even though it isn’t accurate at all. I was freaking out literally about how I’m a liar and I don’t love my husband when I know I do. Ocd is literally a doubt disorder it isn’t true. Don’t be so hard on yourself ok. Practice response prevention. When you get those thoughts say “That may or May not be true but time to move on” I am acknowledging how I’m feeling” I will allow this to be present without trying to make it go away. You need to do this until your anxiety is lessened or gone away.

Anonymous123

Date posted: 23w

Okay thank you, it's just tiring, I've got to a point where I just don't feel anything and remembering things from my past that I haven't thought about in years which is making it more believable to feel it I was one back then and didn't realise. How are you coping now, does it affect your day to day life as much?

Anonymous123

Date posted: 23w

I didn't have the best childhood with my parents so I forgot a lot of it and only just now remembering whilst I am stressed and in the hocd theme

Loveconquers...

Date posted: 23w

@Anonymous123 That’s what ocd preys on, your past. You are ruminating, take a deep breath and practice the responses I told you

Drew777

Date posted: 23w

It may sound simple to say this, but sometimes thoughts are just thoughts. Don't pay them any mind. Just let them sit there. Don't let them conquer you. Also, when you're in a dark and difficult place like this, it makes it difficult to feel. So, your lack of feelings toward your boyfriend is just due to the struggle you're facing right now.

cindyjo

Date posted: 23w

I felt the same about women and I still do. I can say “wow that girl/woman is so pretty” but I cannot find any man attractive rn (bcs there are simply none around me lol😂). That does not mean I am attracted to women. I want to get married to a man and have a family, so no worries for me anymore (I went through the same crisis years ago, so I get you) 🥰

Mt2019

Date posted: 25w

Question about HOCD

Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please

Anonymous123

Date posted: 23w

Can anyone tell me if this is normwl

Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.

Anonymous123

Date posted: 23w

I'm so convinced it's just denial

I feel sick to my stomach, a few days ago I knew I was straight and could picture my life with my bf again. The anxiety has really lessend and Im more depressed now. I'm 100% convinced I am lesbian even tho I have never had sexual attraction to women, found them pretty but never wanted to be with them. My mind is only picturing me being with women now and it feels like a pit in my stomach. I don't feel emotion now, I'm also on my period. I don't want to be lesbian. I want to be with my boyfriend and have the life I pictured with him. My memory is so dissorted right now. I don't think there's anything wrong with being lesbian, it's just not for me and now that makes me feel like I'm homophobic.

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