scrupulosity (Christians)

I have posted here before and barely got advice so let’s try this again. It’s been a long week of doubts fears and obsessions. I already know that it could be worse so I’m staying hopeful. But anyway for the past two weeks I’ve been wanting to attend this concert. The artist is know for his hopeful bubbly music. I wanted to go because his music makes me happy yk. For background the past few times I went to concerts I used them as distractions that I hope would help me overcome SOOCD which eventually led me to idolizing them. Overtime I realized that concerts weren’t going to cure me so I started to rely on God talk to the people around me and go through therapy Fast forward to now I’ve been wanting to attend this concert but had obsessions about if was wrong or not. Then I started to obsess over that fact that it secular and that I’m sinning because i should only listen to gospel and nothing else. To help me overcome I bought it anyways. Right after I bought it I felt a split second of peace before regret took over. I felt that it was sinful to be excited about going or about picking out my outfit and so one. I tried to overcome by listening to the set list and during that time I heard that artists say “can we do that s**t and started to panic I went down this rabbit hole of how I shouldn’t go and how God wouldn’t want me to be there about how cursing is against God and if I were to go I would be inviting sin into my life. I felt that I could no longer go even though my intentions were to have fun and enjoy my life mind you this was planned for my birthday. I find myself in this loop stuck. I’ve had this happen before but have never felt this sad and overwhelmed by it. It just feels like u can’t do anything that every thing i do is against God to the point where I can’t even enjoy a moment of peace. I even prayed and invited God into the experience. I still feel like this is all sinful and searching things up on the web doesn’t help but just cause me to doubt and obsess 10x more. I’m actively looking for a new therapist I’ve been out of therapy for the past few months and maybe I just need that extra help 🤷‍♀️any advice

lilya17

Date posted: 3d ago

I definitely understand this… and experience the same thing! Sorry I don’t have advice but you’re not alone in that loop of thinking. Dm me if you’d like! :)

paymybills

Date posted: 3d ago

@lilya17 That’s okay☺️it’s good to know that I’m not alone in this feeling.

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d ago

Have you ever heard of Mark DeJesus? He's a former pastor, OCD survivor, and has a ton of good information on this very topic. I would recommend looking him up on YouTube. So step 1 would be to address the OCD part of this situation. Step 2, much of this can be addressed by biblical doctrine. What does the Bible say about the character of God, grace, the church age, our status as God's children, and most importantly, the doctrine of salvation. I had major religious OCD myself, so I understand what you're going through. I'd be glad to talk with you more as well. God bless!

paymybills

Date posted: 3d ago

@Someone99 I haven’t heard of him but I’ll definitely check him out. I’ve been trying to search up advice for what I’ve been going through so hopefully this helps. Thank you

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d ago

@paymybills https://youtu.be/LxNbnLZwetg?feature=shared

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3d ago

@paymybills I would really like to keep in touch in some way. Believers with OCD should stick together to encourage each other through it all.

littlecreek24

Date posted: 3d ago

Hi so I often feel the same way about my interests, because there's a lot of secular things I enjoy. My priest (who has OCD) told me that having OCD is a real disability, it's like not understanding why someone without legs can't bow. They can't, and we can't do things that we know will make OCD worse aka compulsions. Most things will not save you, but they won't damn you either, they're neutral. All things in balance. Do what you need to do (self care, working, praying), then do what you enjoy, and trust that God wants you to be happy. Even Jesus went to parties (wedding at Cana), and made more wine so people could enjoy themselves!

paymybills

Date posted: 3d ago

@littlecreek24 Ty for this!! I’ve been trying to continue doing the things that I enjoy, but it’s like these thoughts suck all the excitement out of me. Like sometimes I’ll be excited and happy when I’m doing something I enjoy . Then I’d go right back to thinking that it’s all terrible to do and against God. Praying and trying to express my feelings to God about this has become difficult. Do you have any other tips that have helped you?

littlecreek24

Date posted: 3d ago

@paymybills So for the scrupulous person, if you're doubtful that something is a sin, then it's not and you should do it. Even if the thing you enjoy feels ruined by your thoughts, just do it anyway. I sometimes struggle with looking at images of Jesus on the cross because I'm scared of feeling lustful. So in that case, I should keep looking regardless of any feelings or thoughts I get. Also, pray but not compulsively. Like if there's a specific prayer that you compulsively say, drop it. Pray by being aware of God's presence and feeling His love for you.

paymybills

Date posted: 3d ago

@littlecreek24 Ohh okay so one last question how do you stand firm in what you’re doing. For example looking at the cross even if your OCD makes you question. For me it started off with thinking that going to the concert is sinful because it’s gonna be full of people who sin and not wanting to go because of that. So I bought tickets anyway but now I’m struggling even more. Do you just pray or try to ignore it

littlecreek24

Date posted: 3d ago

@paymybills Lol I still struggle to look at the cross, so my only advice is to allow those feelings to sit while you do whatever you're doing. I wouldn't advise praying because that would be a compulsion. Ignore it? Sure if by ignore you mean allow the feelings to sit... don't try to avoid the uncomfortable feeling by shoving it down. Just... do nothing. Do what you're doing. I'm going to continue looking at the cross, and for you that means go to the concert.

joyouscreature

Date posted: 24w ago

Is it even OCD anymore?

I started seeing every little thing as a sin. Or at least things that will bring bad karma. Everything, even little things like listening to music or enjoying a meal. In my eyes, everything everyone is doing is mostly sins and it terrifies me to death. It scares me to the point of paralysis and I can’t even do anything anymore because everything is a sin in my eyes. I’ll definitely spiral if I think about it more, but if I don’t, I feel like I’m lying to myself. I don’t even have confidence that this is OCD anymore. What if I’m right (I’m not necessarily wrong according to my religious doctrines, not that I’m a 100% sure) and nothings going to help me, not even therapy? And if most things humans do are sins anyway, what’s the point of anything? (See how it starts relating to an existential crisis) I’m terrified that no one’s gonna be able to help me anymore. I feel like I’m at wits ends. I don’t practice Christianity btw. Any insights or even “me too”s would help.

anonymousmm

Date posted: 23w ago

RELIGIOUS/HARM OCD

I don’t know what to do, I feel so lost and feel like I’m losing my mind… I don’t know what to do, I am still getting the terrible thoughts of “God is telling you to kill someone” and I’m literally mid panic attack, I keep trying to reason with logic because it even says in the 10 commandments “thou shall not murder.” So I don’t even know why I’m getting these thoughts… ugh… people say that intrusive thoughts trigger things you care about the most, which mine would be Jesus & the people around me, which is why I get the harm OCD about people I care about the most.. someone recently said that I could be schizophrenic and now I’m terribly worried that I could have that.. I am so terribly afraid of becoming “crazy” and doing horrible things… can someone please give me tips to help this, and or message me?

Agent K

Date posted: 22w ago

Real Event Ocd

Hi there I talk about religion (but I'm not trying to force it down anyone's throat) So my main event (which is the one that truly bothers me) happened in 2015 when I was 14. I won't go into any details or anything. I will say that it got so bad once that I almost committed something detrimental to my health earlier this year. Not long after that I spoke to a doctor and basically confessed what's been happening to my brain and my mistakes, he mentioned things that really resonated with me, I'll paraphrase a bit: "Okay, so what you did was not good but it's not something to condemn yourself for. It falls into the grey area, you've apologized and have been forgiven (even though I apologized over text, which comes across cowardly)but it seems that you haven't forgiven yourself. There's a whole lot of difference between you at 14 and you at 23. Try to have some perspective." This really helped and it still does, but unfortunately ocd tries to find a way around this. I'll get a thought of "oh but you forgot to mention that other part of the event" and it magnifies it. Can anyone relate? I've done everything but fully move on because I sometimes feel like I don't deserve to move on. And I'm still worried over the future.

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scrupulosity (Christians)

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