- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 18d ago
Just Right OCD
That feeling of "incompleteness" or that something isn’t quite right can be unbearable. What’s one daily task that OCD makes harder because it never feels 'just right'?
That feeling of "incompleteness" or that something isn’t quite right can be unbearable. What’s one daily task that OCD makes harder because it never feels 'just right'?
This is embarrassing for me and it’s my first time posting on NOCD. I struggle in the bathroom. When I go #2, I need to get it all out until it feels right. It’s like I can’t have any poop or pee inside of me. I do this with blowing my nose as well. I’ll blow my nose until it bleeds even if there aren’t any boogies or snot. It just needs to “feel right”. I’ve never admitted this to anyone.
First of all, thank you for sharing this—I know how hard it can be to open up, especially for the first time. You’re not alone in this, and you’re definitely not the only one experiencing these struggles. ‘Just Right’ OCD can make certain sensations feel unbearable until they meet an internal standard, even when it causes discomfort or harm. It’s not about logic—it’s about that overwhelming urge to make it ‘feel right.’ What you’re describing makes so much sense in the context of OCD, and the fact that you’re recognizing it and talking about it is a huge step forward. You don’t have to keep this to yourself—there are therapists who understand and can help you work through this in a way that reduces the distress without feeding the OCD cycle. If you’re open to it, ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) can help you gradually resist the urge to keep going until it ‘feels right’ in a way that feels manageable. It doesn’t mean forcing yourself to stop all at once, but slowly building tolerance to that uncomfortable feeling so OCD isn’t in control. You’re not alone in this, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. The fact that you posted this shows real strength, and I hope you continue to reach out for support—you deserve it!
@EnginOCDing I think you are very courageous for sharing this. I hope you know you aren’t alone.
This happens to me too but only with peeing
@HOY That’s actually more common than people realize. OCD can really latch onto very specific situations — and with ‘just right’ or even somatic OCD, things like peeing can become rituals or feel like they have to be done in a certain way or until it feels ‘complete.’ You’re definitely not alone in that.
@EnginOCDing I know this is days later, but I’m so glad you posted this! This is me as well (the pee/poop part 😂). It can make nighttime routines really long and frustrating! I figured there were more of us, but it was really nice to see I’m not alone. Thank you! 💜
Honestly not telling someone the whole truth. If they ask for the time and I say 8:30 when it’s really like 8:28 or 8:29 then I’m a horrible person and whoever I was talking to is going to figure it out
I hear you, and that sounds really tough. OCD has a way of latching onto small details and making them feel like life-or-death moral dilemmas, even when most people wouldn’t think twice about them. It makes perfect sense that this would feel distressing because ‘just right’ OCD and moral scrupulosity often create this intense pressure to be completely accurate and truthful, even in situations where tiny details don’t actually change anything. The fact that you’re even worried about this shows how much you care about being a good person—but OCD is making you feel like any small inaccuracy equals dishonesty, which just isn’t true. People round the time up or down all the time, and it doesn’t mean anything bad about them (or you!). If you’re up for it, ERP could help by practicing giving approximate times on purpose and sitting with the discomfort, reminding yourself that the goal isn’t to feel "just right" but to build tolerance for uncertainty. You’re not alone in this, and you don’t have to let OCD convince you that small things define your worth. You deserve freedom from that burden!
@Rachel Owsley Maybe I’ll try that next time someone asks. I just know it’s going to feel like horrible if I don’t give them the exact time, so I’m nervous.
@cmax20 Totally get that — with moral scrupulosity, it makes complete sense that not giving the exact time would trigger a lot of discomfort. It’s like your brain’s telling you that anything less than 100% accurate feels dishonest, even if that’s not how others would see it. Trying something different like giving an estimate is a great exposure, but yeah, it’s normal to feel super anxious at first. You’re not alone in that!
When I lock the door to my home I always have to check it multiple times by pushing the door back because I leave my dog at home in a crate to be safe. I always get scared if I somehow left the door unlocked even if I do check it. It’s tiring and I want to stop but I always have doubt creep in like to check one more time again to be sure.
That sounds so exhausting, and I completely understand why it feels so hard to stop. OCD thrives on doubt, and it makes you feel like you can never be fully certain, no matter how many times you check. The problem is that each extra check gives OCD more power—it tells your brain, "I can't trust myself, so I need to check again to feel safe." But that feeling of certainty never lasts, which is why the cycle keeps repeating. One way to start breaking free is to set a clear limit—for example, checking the door once and then walking away, even when the doubt creeps in. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but the key is learning to sit with the uncertainty instead of giving in to the urge to check again. Over time, your brain will adjust and realize that you don’t need to check multiple times to keep your dog safe. You’re not alone in this, and the fact that you want to stop is a huge step in the right direction. Have you ever tried ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) for this? A therapist could help guide you through small, manageable steps to reduce the checking without overwhelming you. You can break this cycle, and you deserve peace of mind without OCD controlling your actions.
@Rachel Owsley I commented under this one. Not sure if you saw it
@Rachel Owsley Did you get my comment now?
Sorry, I am not seeing your post.
@Rachel Owsley I always have to make sure I am hyper aware of my body movements and placement around my daughter! They have to be "just right" so I don't get an abnormal feeling. I did speak with my therapist last week during our session about this. She said it's all OCD, but I have a hard time trusting that. I'm a Christian mom who feels like I've ruined my life. All I've ever wanted to be was a good mom since the day my daughter was born, and now I feel as if I have ruined everything. My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt her that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her (my mind literally thought "well what do I do"), and I elbowed her crotch or side area. Which caused another groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. PLEASE tell me if I am a monster. Did I do anything wrong here? I was doing SO well! Is this OCD? Why did I give into my thoughts? Why didn't I ignore it? (edited)
@Rachel Owsley Did you get it Ms. Rachel Owsley? Sorry
@Anony1314 It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed and deeply distressed right now, and I just want to acknowledge how much you care about being a good mom. The fact that you’re seeking help, questioning your thoughts, and feeling so much anguish over this shows that you are not a monster—you are someone struggling with intrusive thoughts and OCD. OCD can be incredibly cruel, especially when it latches onto the things we care about the most—like being a loving and safe parent. The way you describe the intrusive thoughts, the compulsive checking, and the distress afterward all align with OCD patterns. From what you have said, it sounds like your therapist has identified this correctly, but I know it can be hard to trust that when it feels so real. You didn’t "give in" to anything. OCD can make normal bodily sensations feel deeply alarming, and when the anxiety spikes, it’s easy to get caught up in cycles of analyzing and doubting yourself. But the truth is, thoughts and sensations don’t define who you are—your actions and your heart do. And everything you’ve shared here screams that you are a mom who loves her child deeply and wants to protect her. I know this is incredibly painful, but please be kind to yourself. Trust that your therapist sees the bigger picture and has your best interests at heart. OCD thrives on guilt and self-doubt, but you are not your OCD. You are a good mom, and you deserve support and self-compassion as you navigate this. Keep leaning into therapy, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. You are not alone in this.
@Rachel Owsley Even if it really happened, it's all OCD like my therapist said? Not seeking reassurance here. Just confirming I'm dealing with an OCD spiral?
Folding blankets
Yes, that’s a great example of the ‘just right’ subtype — needing the blanket to be folded a certain way or until it feels ‘right’ is really common. It’s not just about neatness, but that inner sense of discomfort if it’s not done exactly the right way. Do you ever find yourself refolding it multiple times or getting stuck on other daily tasks like that?
For me it's neutralizing the thoughts until a positive one arrives. And the more I try, the stronger OCD becomes. Sometimes I react multiple times on a WhatsApp text, because I want it to feel right by en picturing something positive but my brain automatically brings negative thoughts.
It sounds like you're recognizing a really common OCD trap—neutralizing thoughts to make yourself feel better—which, unfortunately, can end up reinforcing the cycle. OCD convinces us that we need to counteract intrusive thoughts with positive ones, but that can actually become a compulsion, keeping the OCD loop going. A big part of ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) is learning to let those intrusive thoughts exist without needing to neutralize them. Instead of trying to replace a negative thought with a positive one, the goal is to practice sitting with the discomfort and uncertainty—even when the thought feels "wrong" or upsetting. One way to approach this is to acknowledge the intrusive thought without engaging with it. For example, if a negative thought comes up while reacting to a WhatsApp message, you could say, "That’s just my brain doing its thing. I don’t need to make it feel right." Then, send the message anyway—without going back to "fix" it. It’ll feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, resisting the urge to neutralize will take away OCD’s power. You’re not alone in this, and the fact that you’re noticing the pattern means you’re already taking a big step toward breaking free from it! Have you had any guidance on ERP or ACT before? It might help to have a therapist walk through tailored strategies for this.
@NOCD Therapist - Rachel O. I have been educating myself on ERP and ACT through this wonderful platform NOCD both the YouTube channel, and the blog. Right now I cannot afford NOCD, but once I do, I will definitely go for NOCD. Also, currently I am facing my intrusive thoughts by not doing anything. Because I am already exposed to my intrusive thoughts whether I like to think or not, why not apply "Do Nothing" and sit in the discomfort. It's the third day, and I am already feeling great, like the thoughts are there but less meaningful or impactful. Thank you for taking time to respond.
Going to bed!! I struggle so much with getting to sleep because at the end of the day my OCD thoughts come out to play. I try my best to coexist with the thoughts and just do my best to find ways to sleep or keep my mind busy until I'm tired enough. Counting backwards or counting sheep helps a ton, but it doesn't stop the inevitable "what if" from popping back in 😓 I end up with anxiety about falling asleep in general and not being rested the next day because I can't shut my brain off.
That sounds really exhausting, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this night after night. OCD and anxiety love to show up when things get quiet, and it makes sense that bedtime would be a tough time for you. It’s frustrating when you just want to rest, but your brain keeps throwing intrusive thoughts and “what ifs” at you. It’s great that you’ve found some strategies, like counting backwards or focusing on something repetitive, to help distract your mind. Have you tried any guided meditations or body scans? Sometimes shifting focus to physical sensations—like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation—can help slow the mental spiral. Also, reminding yourself that it’s okay if your sleep isn’t perfect can take some pressure off. The more you feel like you have to sleep, the harder it can be to relax. The fact that you’re working on coexisting with your thoughts instead of fighting them shows a lot of strength. It’s tough, but you’re doing your best, and that’s enough. I hope you get some restful sleep soon!
@NOCD Therapist - Rachel O. Counting backwards, 4-7-8 breathing and progressive muscle relaxation help a ton, but some nights it takes me awhile of trying them all to get tired. 😭 It's getting better though.
@Lena1998 It’s awesome that you’ve got a solid routine with counting backwards, 4-7-8 breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation — those are great DBT-style tools for calming your system. Some nights it just takes a while, especially when your brain’s a little wired, but it’s great to hear things are improving. If you ever look into CBT-I, one cool part of that is helping your natural sleep drive take over more, so you don’t have to rely on techniques as much. But it really sounds like you’re doing all the right things right now!
washing my hands, cleaning, showering, and wiping things. I never feel clean and little things will start it all over. I truly feel toxic like i can leave behind something fatal
That sounds incredibly overwhelming, and I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. Just Right OCD and contamination fears can make it feel like nothing is ever “enough”—like you have to keep washing or cleaning to reach an impossible standard of certainty. But the truth is, OCD is the one moving the goalposts, not reality. The fact that you’re recognizing this cycle is a huge step forward. You are not toxic, and you are not a danger to others. That’s the OCD talking, trying to convince you that you have to keep going until it “feels right.” But the more you chase that feeling, the more OCD demands. ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) can help you learn to resist the urge to start over, even when the discomfort is high.
Personally i worry things arent feeling right in my relationships with people. When someone doesnt respond the same as usual i worry about things that either ive done, could have done, or if something like rumors got to them. It includes my parents, friends, coworkers, but its a million times worse in romantic situations!! thoughts like "he said love you instead of i love you" and things like that making it just barely out of the norm really mess with me
That sounds really tough, and I completely understand why it feels overwhelming—relationship-focused OCD (ROCD) and “Just Right” OCD can make even small changes feel like something is wrong when in reality, relationships naturally have variations in communication. OCD thrives on doubt and overanalysis, convincing you that you need to figure out whether you did something wrong or if something has changed. But the truth is, relationships aren’t built on perfectly consistent patterns—they’re built on trust, understanding, and flexibility. The more you try to dissect every interaction, the more OCD keeps you stuck in the cycle of needing certainty that’s impossible to guarantee. Have you ever discussed these fears with an ERP therapist?
I think I have OCD since last year but I just realized that I’ve got OCD this year even I haven’t been to any mental clinics or hospitals to test if I have OCD or not. I realized i have OCD this year when i watched movies or videos but i feel like to watch them again and again to check some specific sentences in that movie. Like if that video has subtitles and there are always have some phrases or sentences that make me read, look at every single words of that thing. Even sometimes i check that thing just want to know at the end of that sentence has a dot or comma, kind of like that, i know it’s hard to describe about these situations for me even i know checking these things doesn’t help me anything in my life but the more i watch, read and focus at any details in anything i look so when i remember about something that i watched or red, if i cannot remember exactly all the words of that sentence in the movies, videos, post i feel like to check just know what it is again. Most of my compulsions are related to anything i look, watch or read in my phone. Even sometimes i feel like to check if that is just an account name of anyone, comments on social medias. And before i had so many bad problems with doing things to just “feel right” after i watched those movies and videos. There were some rules that came in my mind so when i watched them again - i had to click this, touch this, replay this over and over again in the video or even look at video duration at the end. There are so many things that i did before that i couldn’t describe enough but i just want to say i used to want to complete many missions in my mind to just feel right or feel completed. If i don’t complete that stupid mission (i called it stupid because i kept me stuck with my life), I’m gonna do it again and again whenever i free until i finish it. At the moments, i don’t have any stupid missions to do about those things i watched but still have some thoughts about them and want to check to know what they are. Can you help me with my problem about OCD? My English can not be really good as I’m not a native English speaker. Thanks.
Hey, I’ve been doing some research on OCD and think I may have it. I’m not 100% sure, but I have a lot of the symptoms. I want to get myself diagnosed, but my parents won’t let me. They agree that it’s very likely that I have OCD, but they think that if I try hard enough, I can get over it. I don’t know what to do anymore or if what I have even is OCD, and I want to be somewhat sure before a I do anything. Right now, I’m a junior in high school, but freshman year was when my “OCD” was the most severe. I think I had (and still do) the symmetry/order subtype and “just right” subtype. I was obsessed with writing things neatly to a point in which I kept forcing myself to erase and rewrite things until all the letters were straight and all the graphs were neatly drawn (typing wasn’t safe either because I use Notability and felt the need to align every text box and make them all the same length). Handwriting was especially a problem in calculus A, and it got to a point in which I couldn’t keep up with the notes, and the homework was taking hours a night because I was obsessed with making my work perfect. Needless to say, I didn’t get a good grade in calculus A and didn’t build a good foundation for future math classes. This makes me really sad because I was previously really good at math and had a bright future in the subject. Eventually, I just stopped trying in calculus A, but by then, I felt burnt out, couldn’t concentrate on anything, kept putting things off, and lost the ability to properly manage my time. I think it may have escalated to executive dysfunction at that point, and it carried over to all my other classes. As someone who was previously pretty productive and good at planning, this was a huge hit on my self-esteem. I was also obsessed with symmetry. If I touched one side of my body, I had to touch the other side in the exact same place. If I was coding something, I would have to evenly distribute touch across each key on the keyboard. It felt like everything was a heatmap, and the colors had to be kept in balance at all times. I also avoided odd numbers because they were considered “asymmetrical”. I was obsessed with routine and had to complete tasks in a certain way, a certain order, and a certain amount of time. Even something as small as combing my hair for five minutes instead of six caused me extreme distress. Writing one word that “sounded off” on an English paper left me unable to keep writing until I fixed it. I had to keep the sound of my phone at a certain volume (6 normally, 10 when exercising, and 12 when cleaning, divide everything by 2 when using a computer) and had to walk a round number (any number that ends in 0) of steps a day. I kid you not when I say that some days I woke up and didn’t want to live anymore. Sophomore year, my mental health improved and I probably seemed overly perfectionistic but not to a point of concern. However, this year, the handwriting issue relapsed in all its glory during physics, and I’m not able to keep up with notes or homework. I feel the same way that I did in calculus A, and I don’t want history to repeat itself. I want to ask my teacher to let me do my homework on paper rather than the iPad (it’s easier for me to write on paper due to increased friction), but I’m scared to ask because I don’t have a formal diagnosis. I don’t know what causes my behavior. I feel like if I can’t do things perfectly, no one will like me. I’ll lose all my friends, and no boy will ever want to go out with me. I know it’s irrational. Literally no one cares what my notes look like or how long I spend on each step of my morning routine or whatever, but I constantly feel like people are judging me and will hate me the second I mess up. There are two more times in my life that I can think of when I displayed symptoms of OCD, contamination OCD when I was 9 and pure/religious/magical thinking/health concern OCD (they all just kind morphed together) when I was 11. I can go into more detail if you wish. As of now, I just want to know my behavior sounds like OCD, and if so, how to more forward. If not, I would love to know what I do have and how to treat it. Thank you so much.
I have constantly been feeling like if I hit one arm, I have to hit the other and if I set something down and it just didn’t look right or feel right I had to do it again or I had to move it to a different spot in my room I’ve had never been a clean freak, which is mainly what I get told is OCD And I don’t know if I should even have this app. I don’t know if I actually have it. I’m constantly worried that I did something in my past that harmed others and that’s why people don’t like me or I’m constantly worried People are constantly watching me and I don’t know if that’s OCD or if I have it so please tell me I will delete this app and never think of it again if I don’t I just really wanna know
so i was on instagram and it came up with other signs of ocd then someone commented this doesn’t mean you have ocd now im stressed that its not ocd background - i had so-ocd for a few years then got treatment for it but am now on the waiting list for further treatment for other stuff but i dont have another theme which makes me feel like its not ocd my day to day life consists of touching the door handle every time you go past it or someone will die, and inability to send emails without re reading loads of times and getting other people to check because im scared i wrote something bad but the what if it’s not ocd thought is triggering me now and i don’t know what do
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond