Just Right OCD

First of all, thank you for sharing this—I know how hard it can be to open up, especially for the first time. You’re not alone in this, and you’re definitely not the only one experiencing these struggles. ‘Just Right’ OCD can make certain sensations feel unbearable until they meet an internal standard, even when it causes discomfort or harm. It’s not about logic—it’s about that overwhelming urge to make it ‘feel right.’ What you’re describing makes so much sense in the context of OCD, and the fact that you’re recognizing it and talking about it is a huge step forward. You don’t have to keep this to yourself—there are therapists who understand and can help you work through this in a way that reduces the distress without feeding the OCD cycle. If you’re open to it, ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) can help you gradually resist the urge to keep going until it ‘feels right’ in a way that feels manageable. It doesn’t mean forcing yourself to stop all at once, but slowly building tolerance to that uncomfortable feeling so OCD isn’t in control. You’re not alone in this, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. The fact that you posted this shows real strength, and I hope you continue to reach out for support—you deserve it!

@EnginOCDing I think you are very courageous for sharing this. I hope you know you aren’t alone.

This happens to me too but only with peeing

@HOY That’s actually more common than people realize. OCD can really latch onto very specific situations — and with ‘just right’ or even somatic OCD, things like peeing can become rituals or feel like they have to be done in a certain way or until it feels ‘complete.’ You’re definitely not alone in that.

@EnginOCDing I know this is days later, but I’m so glad you posted this! This is me as well (the pee/poop part 😂). It can make nighttime routines really long and frustrating! I figured there were more of us, but it was really nice to see I’m not alone. Thank you! 💜

@EnginOCDing Not alone!

I hear you, and that sounds really tough. OCD has a way of latching onto small details and making them feel like life-or-death moral dilemmas, even when most people wouldn’t think twice about them. It makes perfect sense that this would feel distressing because ‘just right’ OCD and moral scrupulosity often create this intense pressure to be completely accurate and truthful, even in situations where tiny details don’t actually change anything. The fact that you’re even worried about this shows how much you care about being a good person—but OCD is making you feel like any small inaccuracy equals dishonesty, which just isn’t true. People round the time up or down all the time, and it doesn’t mean anything bad about them (or you!). If you’re up for it, ERP could help by practicing giving approximate times on purpose and sitting with the discomfort, reminding yourself that the goal isn’t to feel "just right" but to build tolerance for uncertainty. You’re not alone in this, and you don’t have to let OCD convince you that small things define your worth. You deserve freedom from that burden!

@Rachel Owsley Maybe I’ll try that next time someone asks. I just know it’s going to feel like horrible if I don’t give them the exact time, so I’m nervous.

@cmax20 Totally get that — with moral scrupulosity, it makes complete sense that not giving the exact time would trigger a lot of discomfort. It’s like your brain’s telling you that anything less than 100% accurate feels dishonest, even if that’s not how others would see it. Trying something different like giving an estimate is a great exposure, but yeah, it’s normal to feel super anxious at first. You’re not alone in that!

That sounds so exhausting, and I completely understand why it feels so hard to stop. OCD thrives on doubt, and it makes you feel like you can never be fully certain, no matter how many times you check. The problem is that each extra check gives OCD more power—it tells your brain, "I can't trust myself, so I need to check again to feel safe." But that feeling of certainty never lasts, which is why the cycle keeps repeating. One way to start breaking free is to set a clear limit—for example, checking the door once and then walking away, even when the doubt creeps in. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but the key is learning to sit with the uncertainty instead of giving in to the urge to check again. Over time, your brain will adjust and realize that you don’t need to check multiple times to keep your dog safe. You’re not alone in this, and the fact that you want to stop is a huge step in the right direction. Have you ever tried ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) for this? A therapist could help guide you through small, manageable steps to reduce the checking without overwhelming you. You can break this cycle, and you deserve peace of mind without OCD controlling your actions.

@Rachel Owsley I commented under this one. Not sure if you saw it

@Rachel Owsley Did you get my comment now?

@Rachel Owsley I always have to make sure I am hyper aware of my body movements and placement around my daughter! They have to be "just right" so I don't get an abnormal feeling. I did speak with my therapist last week during our session about this. She said it's all OCD, but I have a hard time trusting that. I'm a Christian mom who feels like I've ruined my life. All I've ever wanted to be was a good mom since the day my daughter was born, and now I feel as if I have ruined everything. My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt her that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her (my mind literally thought "well what do I do"), and I elbowed her crotch or side area. Which caused another groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. PLEASE tell me if I am a monster. Did I do anything wrong here? I was doing SO well! Is this OCD? Why did I give into my thoughts? Why didn't I ignore it? (edited)

@Rachel Owsley Did you get it Ms. Rachel Owsley? Sorry

@Anony1314 It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed and deeply distressed right now, and I just want to acknowledge how much you care about being a good mom. The fact that you’re seeking help, questioning your thoughts, and feeling so much anguish over this shows that you are not a monster—you are someone struggling with intrusive thoughts and OCD. OCD can be incredibly cruel, especially when it latches onto the things we care about the most—like being a loving and safe parent. The way you describe the intrusive thoughts, the compulsive checking, and the distress afterward all align with OCD patterns. From what you have said, it sounds like your therapist has identified this correctly, but I know it can be hard to trust that when it feels so real. You didn’t "give in" to anything. OCD can make normal bodily sensations feel deeply alarming, and when the anxiety spikes, it’s easy to get caught up in cycles of analyzing and doubting yourself. But the truth is, thoughts and sensations don’t define who you are—your actions and your heart do. And everything you’ve shared here screams that you are a mom who loves her child deeply and wants to protect her. I know this is incredibly painful, but please be kind to yourself. Trust that your therapist sees the bigger picture and has your best interests at heart. OCD thrives on guilt and self-doubt, but you are not your OCD. You are a good mom, and you deserve support and self-compassion as you navigate this. Keep leaning into therapy, and don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. You are not alone in this.

@Rachel Owsley Even if it really happened, it's all OCD like my therapist said? Not seeking reassurance here. Just confirming I'm dealing with an OCD spiral?

Yes, that’s a great example of the ‘just right’ subtype — needing the blanket to be folded a certain way or until it feels ‘right’ is really common. It’s not just about neatness, but that inner sense of discomfort if it’s not done exactly the right way. Do you ever find yourself refolding it multiple times or getting stuck on other daily tasks like that?

It sounds like you're recognizing a really common OCD trap—neutralizing thoughts to make yourself feel better—which, unfortunately, can end up reinforcing the cycle. OCD convinces us that we need to counteract intrusive thoughts with positive ones, but that can actually become a compulsion, keeping the OCD loop going. A big part of ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) is learning to let those intrusive thoughts exist without needing to neutralize them. Instead of trying to replace a negative thought with a positive one, the goal is to practice sitting with the discomfort and uncertainty—even when the thought feels "wrong" or upsetting. One way to approach this is to acknowledge the intrusive thought without engaging with it. For example, if a negative thought comes up while reacting to a WhatsApp message, you could say, "That’s just my brain doing its thing. I don’t need to make it feel right." Then, send the message anyway—without going back to "fix" it. It’ll feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, resisting the urge to neutralize will take away OCD’s power. You’re not alone in this, and the fact that you’re noticing the pattern means you’re already taking a big step toward breaking free from it! Have you had any guidance on ERP or ACT before? It might help to have a therapist walk through tailored strategies for this.

@NOCD Therapist - Rachel O. I have been educating myself on ERP and ACT through this wonderful platform NOCD both the YouTube channel, and the blog. Right now I cannot afford NOCD, but once I do, I will definitely go for NOCD. Also, currently I am facing my intrusive thoughts by not doing anything. Because I am already exposed to my intrusive thoughts whether I like to think or not, why not apply "Do Nothing" and sit in the discomfort. It's the third day, and I am already feeling great, like the thoughts are there but less meaningful or impactful. Thank you for taking time to respond.

That sounds really exhausting, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this night after night. OCD and anxiety love to show up when things get quiet, and it makes sense that bedtime would be a tough time for you. It’s frustrating when you just want to rest, but your brain keeps throwing intrusive thoughts and “what ifs” at you. It’s great that you’ve found some strategies, like counting backwards or focusing on something repetitive, to help distract your mind. Have you tried any guided meditations or body scans? Sometimes shifting focus to physical sensations—like deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation—can help slow the mental spiral. Also, reminding yourself that it’s okay if your sleep isn’t perfect can take some pressure off. The more you feel like you have to sleep, the harder it can be to relax. The fact that you’re working on coexisting with your thoughts instead of fighting them shows a lot of strength. It’s tough, but you’re doing your best, and that’s enough. I hope you get some restful sleep soon!

@NOCD Therapist - Rachel O. Counting backwards, 4-7-8 breathing and progressive muscle relaxation help a ton, but some nights it takes me awhile of trying them all to get tired. 😭 It's getting better though.

@Lena1998 It’s awesome that you’ve got a solid routine with counting backwards, 4-7-8 breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation — those are great DBT-style tools for calming your system. Some nights it just takes a while, especially when your brain’s a little wired, but it’s great to hear things are improving. If you ever look into CBT-I, one cool part of that is helping your natural sleep drive take over more, so you don’t have to rely on techniques as much. But it really sounds like you’re doing all the right things right now!

That sounds incredibly overwhelming, and I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. Just Right OCD and contamination fears can make it feel like nothing is ever “enough”—like you have to keep washing or cleaning to reach an impossible standard of certainty. But the truth is, OCD is the one moving the goalposts, not reality. The fact that you’re recognizing this cycle is a huge step forward. You are not toxic, and you are not a danger to others. That’s the OCD talking, trying to convince you that you have to keep going until it “feels right.” But the more you chase that feeling, the more OCD demands. ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) can help you learn to resist the urge to start over, even when the discomfort is high.

That sounds really tough, and I completely understand why it feels overwhelming—relationship-focused OCD (ROCD) and “Just Right” OCD can make even small changes feel like something is wrong when in reality, relationships naturally have variations in communication. OCD thrives on doubt and overanalysis, convincing you that you need to figure out whether you did something wrong or if something has changed. But the truth is, relationships aren’t built on perfectly consistent patterns—they’re built on trust, understanding, and flexibility. The more you try to dissect every interaction, the more OCD keeps you stuck in the cycle of needing certainty that’s impossible to guarantee. Have you ever discussed these fears with an ERP therapist?

That all sounds so exhausting, and also so familiar for folks dealing with ‘just right’ OCD. When there are multiple steps involved, like in oral hygiene or hair care, it makes total sense that the pressure to get each part ‘exactly right’ can feel overwhelming. That fear of messing up or not using the right tools — or even the right way to use them — is classic OCD trying to keep you in a loop. And the ponytail thing? You’re definitely not alone — that constant urge to fix and adjust until it feels ‘right’ can turn into a ritual that just drains your energy. You’re not the only one dealing with this, and it can get easier with support and the right strategies.