ROCD

Anyone else ever gone to a friend for reassurance & they told you you should tell your partner your mean thought about them? This makes me so confused and scared

Kalidescope

Date posted: 11d ago

Very few people in our lives are equipped to give us advice when it comes to OCD!! Especially ROCD! Sounds like a ROCD obsession disturbance to me... For me the confession/telling my partner is a compulsion. As someone officially diagnosed with OCD & well acquainted with the OCD distortions, I advise AGAINST telling your partner your mean thoughts about them!

Mk3

Date posted: 11d ago

@Kalidescope Thank you!! I have also been diagnosed and told not to confess. For some reason it just bothers me that my friend had a different opinion. I just don’t understand why they would tell me to share it?

MM311

Date posted: 11d ago

in my bad days i’ll just tell him like “hey i haven’t had the best few days recently. i could use a hug” no need to get into the details just leave it short and simple. confessing is a compulsion and doesn’t help in the long run. people who don’t have OCD don’t understand how the cycle works and can’t really ever give the best advice when it comes to doubts, thoughts, and compulsions! it’s better to talk to someone who experiences the thoughts or is experienced in how ocd works!!!

Mk3

Date posted: 11d ago

@MM311 Yes like my “ugly” thought I have ab my partner occasionally or frequently idk is a true thought but I shouldn’t have to feel this guilt over it bc attraction ebbs ands flows and it doesn’t have to mean anything. Like a person without ocd probably wouldn’t feel the urge to confess this. It’s so hard !!!

MM311

Date posted: 11d ago

@Mk3 honestly i’ve found that just accepting the flaws and allowing the thoughts to happen without trying to counteract them with a compulsion is the only way out of the cycle. all of my compulsions are mental now and it’s so hard to stop them because they happen automatically now so for me it’s just being aware that i’m compulsive and stopping myself in my tracks. it’s so hard but i know we can both break the cycle!!!!!

Mk3

Date posted: 10d ago

@MM311 Yes we got this!!! I posted something else about confessing & another user told me that the they would confess this ugly thought for support from their partner blah blah blah. This has made me spiral Forsure. But I know listening to my therapists advice is what’s best

MM311

Date posted: 11d ago

my friends and my mom both told me that maybe i don’t love my partner or maybe i just liked the idea of being with someone and that made my anxiety skyrocket. i am 6 months into this cycle and finally trying to put an end to it. i still have these thoughts daily and it truly makes me believe that i don’t love my boyfriend and it makes me so sad and so anxious. hang in there!!!

Mk3

Date posted: 11d ago

@Anonymous It seems other people don’t understand OCD !! I’m sorry you’re going through this!!!!!

Mk3

Date posted: 11d ago

@Anonymous They didn’t tell you to confess to your partner did they ? Not sure what your thoughts are but one that really bothers me is the “ugly” thought about my partner when I know that attraction ebbs and flows so who cares but I still do this 😂

MM311

Date posted: 11d ago

@Mk3 they told me to talk to him about my thoughts and i have talked to him about it and ive actually broken up with him about it because it felt like it was my only way out. it wasn’t. thankfully, hes been nothing but understanding and supportive throughout all of this. i truly think we wouldn’t be together now if it weren’t for him. but yes the confessions are definitely a compulsion. i felt a million times better when i did for a little bit but the thoughts kept coming back.

Mk3

Date posted: 11d ago

@Anonymous Right. So it seems that in our situation we should not listen to our friends when it comes to confessing! It’s just hard to understand why they tell us that???? And yes I used to confess about different themes all the time and I just kept confessing. Have you stopped confessing now that you know?

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 10d ago

Hey there, I believe your friend was likely doing their best to help. However, they are probably not the best resource for helpful guidance on challenging OCD effectively while maintaining the relationship you want to have. Here are a few resources on ROCD and if you are struggling with this on your own, I hope you know that help is available - feel free to reach out to us here at NOCD to see how we might be able to assist. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTDv6mzrkU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK3PCMRsn8I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riKw294RZMw&t=126s

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w ago

ROCD

I just ended my 2 year relationship with an amazing guy because my intrusive thoughts wouldn’t stop. I started Prozac 9 days ago and the first few days, I felt great and all the original love I had for my partner came flushing back. The next few days I started becoming anxious and today I had to leave work because I could not stop ruminating. When I initially broke up with him I felt a split second of relief, but now I am having the same feelings that I was having before and I don’t know what to do.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 17w ago

freaking out

my therapist suggested that some of my less bad rocd intrusive thoughts are actually mine, and not intrusive. She ended up taking it back when she saw the alarm on my face and saw how panicked I got. I feel really freaking anxious. We were only talking about it because I mentioned a lot of doubt surrounding those less bad ones, but it only filled me with more doubt. I don’t want those thoughts to be mine. I really don’t. I feel scared and so discouraged after this session. I feel scared about the worst thoughts, what if those aren’t intrusive. I feel so much doubt.

cherryred14

Date posted: 17w ago

ROCD damaging my relationship

Right now, i’m waiting for a response from my partner. Yesterday, we got into a serious conversation about the repeated cycle of reassurance seeking and extreme anxiety. he’s been so incredibly patient but I think he’s hit a crosswords in that if I don’t make serious, healthier changes, he does not see the relationship continuing in a healthy or meaningful way anymore. This morning, I told him I wanted to give him space and to respond once he felt comfortable. I attended a support group today but I am consumed with spiraling, obsessive thoughts due to his lack of response now that it’s 5pm and I sent that text at 8am. I dont want to overwhelm him but i just dont know how to sit with the uncertainty. I feel like his lack of response and communication today means he wants to break up. I feel sick and cannot eat. I dont know what to do- any suggestions or thoughts?

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