Mk3
- Date posted
- 5w ago
ROCD
Anyone else ever gone to a friend for reassurance & they told you you should tell your partner your mean thought about them? This makes me so confused and scared
KalidescopeKalidescope
- Date posted
- 5w ago
Very few people in our lives are equipped to give us advice when it comes to OCD!! Especially ROCD! Sounds like a ROCD obsession disturbance to me... For me the confession/telling my partner is a compulsion. As someone officially diagnosed with OCD & well acquainted with the OCD distortions, I advise AGAINST telling your partner your mean thoughts about them!
Mk3Mk3
- Date posted
- 5w ago
@Kalidescope Thank you!! I have also been diagnosed and told not to confess. For some reason it just bothers me that my friend had a different opinion. I just don’t understand why they would tell me to share it?
MM311MM311
- Date posted
- 5w ago
in my bad days i’ll just tell him like “hey i haven’t had the best few days recently. i could use a hug” no need to get into the details just leave it short and simple. confessing is a compulsion and doesn’t help in the long run. people who don’t have OCD don’t understand how the cycle works and can’t really ever give the best advice when it comes to doubts, thoughts, and compulsions! it’s better to talk to someone who experiences the thoughts or is experienced in how ocd works!!!
Mk3Mk3
- Date posted
- 5w ago
@MM311 Yes like my “ugly” thought I have ab my partner occasionally or frequently idk is a true thought but I shouldn’t have to feel this guilt over it bc attraction ebbs ands flows and it doesn’t have to mean anything. Like a person without ocd probably wouldn’t feel the urge to confess this. It’s so hard !!!
MM311MM311
- Date posted
- 5w ago
@Mk3 honestly i’ve found that just accepting the flaws and allowing the thoughts to happen without trying to counteract them with a compulsion is the only way out of the cycle. all of my compulsions are mental now and it’s so hard to stop them because they happen automatically now so for me it’s just being aware that i’m compulsive and stopping myself in my tracks. it’s so hard but i know we can both break the cycle!!!!!
Mk3Mk3
- Date posted
- 5w ago
@MM311 Yes we got this!!! I posted something else about confessing & another user told me that the they would confess this ugly thought for support from their partner blah blah blah. This has made me spiral Forsure. But I know listening to my therapists advice is what’s best
MM311MM311
- Date posted
- 5w ago
my friends and my mom both told me that maybe i don’t love my partner or maybe i just liked the idea of being with someone and that made my anxiety skyrocket. i am 6 months into this cycle and finally trying to put an end to it. i still have these thoughts daily and it truly makes me believe that i don’t love my boyfriend and it makes me so sad and so anxious. hang in there!!!
Mk3Mk3
- Date posted
- 5w ago
@Anonymous It seems other people don’t understand OCD !! I’m sorry you’re going through this!!!!!
Mk3Mk3
- Date posted
- 5w ago
@Anonymous They didn’t tell you to confess to your partner did they ? Not sure what your thoughts are but one that really bothers me is the “ugly” thought about my partner when I know that attraction ebbs and flows so who cares but I still do this 😂
MM311MM311
- Date posted
- 5w ago
@Mk3 they told me to talk to him about my thoughts and i have talked to him about it and ive actually broken up with him about it because it felt like it was my only way out. it wasn’t. thankfully, hes been nothing but understanding and supportive throughout all of this. i truly think we wouldn’t be together now if it weren’t for him. but yes the confessions are definitely a compulsion. i felt a million times better when i did for a little bit but the thoughts kept coming back.
Mk3Mk3
- Date posted
- 5w ago
@Anonymous Right. So it seems that in our situation we should not listen to our friends when it comes to confessing! It’s just hard to understand why they tell us that???? And yes I used to confess about different themes all the time and I just kept confessing. Have you stopped confessing now that you know?
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 5w ago
Hey there, I believe your friend was likely doing their best to help. However, they are probably not the best resource for helpful guidance on challenging OCD effectively while maintaining the relationship you want to have. Here are a few resources on ROCD and if you are struggling with this on your own, I hope you know that help is available - feel free to reach out to us here at NOCD to see how we might be able to assist. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTDv6mzrkU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK3PCMRsn8I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riKw294RZMw&t=126s
Related posts
clair_m88
- Date posted
- 9w ago
ROCD & friends
Hi everyone☀️ has anyone ever vented to a friend without knowing it is a compulsion? Meaning like you believe the thoughts so much in your head you vent to them and they agree with you? Which then fuels your obsessions about your relationship even more? I have really done that less lately the more I have learned about my ROCD, but wanted to know if anyone else experiences this? It’s so hard when we think we are just venting and then someone agrees or goes along with the obsession because they don’t understand the OCD..which then fuels my ROCD 😭 idk if I’m making sense lol hopefully someone understands
truespartan48
- Date posted
- 5w ago
Struggling with potential ROCD
Good morning. Anyone struggle with ROCD? When I think about what I have done in the past, I feel immense guilty (I feel the tightness in my chest) and have the urge to tell my partner about it, even if my partner says she doesn’t need to know if it is going to hurt her and that I need to talk to my therapist about it first. Any suggestions on how to manage the urge/urgency? Thanks!
Mk3
- Date posted
- 5w ago
ROCD
It triggers me when people say “my partner is the most attractive person in the world” because I don’t know if I could say that myself. I seem to hyper fixate over physical appearance. I get the “ugly” thought about my partner sometimes and feel terrible guilt and the urge to confess. This freaks me out I love my partner so much. Any advice to help with the guilt/confessing? I’ve been told the thought is not the problem, it’s the fact that OCD is latched onto it! Therefore I guess it’s also the OCD that makes me feel like my partner deserves better?
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