Ishtar._
- Date posted
- 26w
fear
i'm afraid of being alone at home, of searching for C.P or of doing something wrong i have no diagnosis
lashawnda101lashawnda101
- Date posted
- 26w
I fear similar I’ve seen it before when I was younger and I didn’t immediately turn it off but I did at someone point and actually looked it up later to report it but here u am yearsssss later and I had a guilt come over me and that’s when my pocd started and not I’m in a fully committed relationship and I’ve always wanted kids but now I don’t
Ishtar._Ishtar._
- Date posted
- 26w
When I was younger, I already had contact with this in short story format, and it happened again recently but I didn't feel anything, no kind of dominant attraction..now I'm crying because I hate who I've become so much, I feel like my life is lost and the only solution is death.
lashawnda101lashawnda101
- Date posted
- 26w
@Ishtar._ I thought the same thing
lashawnda101lashawnda101
- Date posted
- 26w
@Ishtar._ I sometimes feel like that but honestly I’m working on deciding to live and not just survive just enough to be ok . I wanna enjoy life again, I have not done anything to truly suggest I am a pedo sometimes I think about how I would defend myself if I was faced with life of death situation, doesn’t make me a murderer thoughts and feelings are not facts
Ishtar._Ishtar._
- Date posted
- 26w
@lashawnda101 my brain will never leave me alone because of the mistakes I've already made, I feel like I'll never be able to have a "normal" sex life again
lashawnda101lashawnda101
- Date posted
- 26w
@Ishtar._ Yea if I’m being honest corn 🌽 videos are not healthy for the mind that’s where most of my issues started, I was SA as a kid by family members so I was always lustful and I also gave my life to Christ at a young age due to anxiety and depression and just wanting to die, after that I felt great it was like a weight was lifted but once I got my own apartment and started spending nice with my boyfriend I became anxious about doing wrong and it just went on from there I started replaying all my past mistakes and came to the conclusion that I don’t deserve him , and that he needed to know every intrusive thought I had , I kept feeling the urge to confess and then it became bad I couldn’t go to work and I started confessing to my pastor (my grandad ) and my granny and my boyfriend about different things I confessed my sin of fornication my lust my corn videos it’s was bad I kept calling off from work and couldn’t eat I was losing weight then I started searching for relief for a while I thought I just had anxiety and depression found out the symptoms were ocd downloaded this app and got diagnosed. I started therapy but couldn’t pay after I left my job because of insurance so now I’m kind in between always looking for the next attach not being able to fully relax
Ishtar._Ishtar._
- Date posted
- 26w
@lashawnda101 i'm sorry for your situation, and i sincerely hope this gets better! i also had early sexual contact, which triggered a lot of things in me..when i was a teenager, i was afraid of sex, it caused me a little anxiety...but i had a beautiful, respectful and romantic vision and that's what i wanted.. now, after a virtual sexual trauma at age 16, everything has changed. have contact with content (in the form of stories and anime) early on it also had a big impact. it's difficult. i feel disgusted with myself.
lashawnda101lashawnda101
- Date posted
- 26w
@Ishtar._ Same guess we aren’t so alone after all
Related posts
Lulu~
- Date posted
- 25w
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- Date posted
- 24w
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kenzieisfound
- Date posted
- 19w
fear of losing control??
I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.
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