- Date posted
- 29w
fear
i'm afraid of being alone at home, of searching for C.P or of doing something wrong i have no diagnosis
i'm afraid of being alone at home, of searching for C.P or of doing something wrong i have no diagnosis
I fear similar I’ve seen it before when I was younger and I didn’t immediately turn it off but I did at someone point and actually looked it up later to report it but here u am yearsssss later and I had a guilt come over me and that’s when my pocd started and not I’m in a fully committed relationship and I’ve always wanted kids but now I don’t
When I was younger, I already had contact with this in short story format, and it happened again recently but I didn't feel anything, no kind of dominant attraction..now I'm crying because I hate who I've become so much, I feel like my life is lost and the only solution is death.
@Ishtar._ I thought the same thing
@Ishtar._ I sometimes feel like that but honestly I’m working on deciding to live and not just survive just enough to be ok . I wanna enjoy life again, I have not done anything to truly suggest I am a pedo sometimes I think about how I would defend myself if I was faced with life of death situation, doesn’t make me a murderer thoughts and feelings are not facts
@lashawnda101 my brain will never leave me alone because of the mistakes I've already made, I feel like I'll never be able to have a "normal" sex life again
@Ishtar._ Yea if I’m being honest corn 🌽 videos are not healthy for the mind that’s where most of my issues started, I was SA as a kid by family members so I was always lustful and I also gave my life to Christ at a young age due to anxiety and depression and just wanting to die, after that I felt great it was like a weight was lifted but once I got my own apartment and started spending nice with my boyfriend I became anxious about doing wrong and it just went on from there I started replaying all my past mistakes and came to the conclusion that I don’t deserve him , and that he needed to know every intrusive thought I had , I kept feeling the urge to confess and then it became bad I couldn’t go to work and I started confessing to my pastor (my grandad ) and my granny and my boyfriend about different things I confessed my sin of fornication my lust my corn videos it’s was bad I kept calling off from work and couldn’t eat I was losing weight then I started searching for relief for a while I thought I just had anxiety and depression found out the symptoms were ocd downloaded this app and got diagnosed. I started therapy but couldn’t pay after I left my job because of insurance so now I’m kind in between always looking for the next attach not being able to fully relax
@lashawnda101 i'm sorry for your situation, and i sincerely hope this gets better! i also had early sexual contact, which triggered a lot of things in me..when i was a teenager, i was afraid of sex, it caused me a little anxiety...but i had a beautiful, respectful and romantic vision and that's what i wanted.. now, after a virtual sexual trauma at age 16, everything has changed. have contact with content (in the form of stories and anime) early on it also had a big impact. it's difficult. i feel disgusted with myself.
@Ishtar._ Same guess we aren’t so alone after all
I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.
idk why this is such a recurrent thing for me , I get so scared through the day when I’m not distracted when I think about psychosis. or being put in a mental hospital that it gives me bad anxiety, one time I had a panic attack at the thought of having it 💔 I can’t pin point if it’s intrusive thoughts because it’s a fear of mine .. or not. I think this is the worst thought / fear I have
when i stay alone at home, the thought immediately comes to my head that I can touch myself, don't I imagine those thoughts?! I'm a bit scared of this "idea", especially since I've had these types of tests before... can anyone help if they've had a similar experience? what worries me is that it is my wish, i.e. that I can do it, and not ocd...
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond