Daughter asked 2 go 2 church but I have trauma.

This is not meant to fend anyone- rather your religious or not- somewhere in the middle-ect just expressing how I I feel.. I haven’t been to church since I was like… 13 years old… I’m now 34. I was raised Christian. My dad was the one who encouraged Christianity/church as a kid but he also is the person who sexually and verbally abused me, he also was an alcoholic and crack addict/drug addict. Not saying people with severe substance issues can’t be religious HOWEVER as a child he hurt me, over and over and over again. Once him and my mom split up I stopped going to church cuz I rebelled and felt like he only went to church to hide the truth of who he was. It’s just how i felt. I don’t know know truth and want know the truth becuase he died 2 years ago. The truth wouldn’t matter anyways. I’m also bisexual, and don’t beleive some of the (in my opinion) hateful judgmental things I see spread by certain religions, i do get religion is a spectrum tho. Long story to say, my 11 year old daughter has many friends who go to this specific christian church, and I agreeed to sign her up for a summer basketball team the church offers- only because the schedule worked for us and she knows kids in the program. She’s been asking to go to a few Sunday services in order to get to know the ppl /kids more so when she starts basketball she will know some ppl. So today, I’m going to church for the first time , I feel weird about it due to my past. I am not anti religion, I believe in being a good person and if god is real he will see that and that’s what matters. But church brings up trauma for me in ways. Anyone ever deal with this? Words of advice? I want to let my daughter choose her own path and explore religion if she chooses too so I am trying to support her, I’m just scared to go and feel judged cuz I literally have pink hair, piercings, tattoos, don’t agree w some extreme values ect. Idk compulsion a lot this am and heart is racing .

RadiantlyRed...

Date posted: 24d ago

I am so so sorry you’ve experienced this trauma in your past. No person deserves to go through that. I will say that God/Christ are loving and forgiving. Unfortunately so many “Christians” do not act as if they are worshipping that loving God. I know so many “Christians” who are prideful, holier than thou, and so so judgmental. I am a Christian but even I hate the “religion” attached to God’s redeeming grace, because it’s not reflective of God’s true nature because it is the fallen people who are organizing the religion. I cannot tell you how to proceed because you deserve to protect yourself, but I sincerely hope you know that you are seen as beautiful as you are. Christ sees you and He loves you the way you are. And I am again so so sorry for all that you’ve experienced. I wish you the best in how to help your daughter. I would encourage you to maybe give it a shot, take her one Sunday. And if you can’t bear it, maybe allow her to go with the friends every Sunday. Regardless, I wish you the best and I will be praying for this situation for you. 💛

Anonymous

Date posted: 24d ago

I’m sorry you went through that. 💔 as someone with comparatively mild religious trauma, I can relate at least to the feelings of judgment and some of the fear of going back. I think it’s wonderful that you are allowing your daughter to explore and that you are going with her.

Anonymous

Date posted: 24d ago

@Anonymous Definitely allow yourself to process by talking with a friend or therapist. And it sucks to feel judged but honestly their judgements don’t mean anything, you are there for your daughter and your faith is yours to work out with God. Any judgements about your appearance are meaningless.

Faisal116

Date posted: 24d ago

I think you should go to church definitely and explore islam. Islam is a true word of God. Definitely read quran one time

JediMJ

Date posted: 24d ago

Oh. I felt this in my bone marrow, having had my own religious trauma. You’re not alone. I’m sorry that happened to you. It shows how much you love your daughter to give her the freedom to participate. I would also encourage you to give yourself the freedom to NOT participate. Or to limit your participation. What feels good to you? What do you want? Find a way to support your daughter and you. 💕

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23d ago

It's completely understandable why you're having this challenge, especially if your dad harmed you the way he did. Young children develop a view of God by what our dad is like. However, people are all far from perfect. God is a God of love, grace and forgiveness and wants us to seek him.

Anonymous

Date posted: 10w ago

Pls read

I always want to get close to God and my ocd is always related to me thinking I'm going crazy however my ocd also sticks to religion it kinda pulls me away because I'm scared that I'll go crazy if I focus too much on one thing or do too much of one thing..so I went to the dentist and I was waiting on my boyfriend when this man that was speaking about God came and he was speaking to me and he kept saying I should give my life to God and I told him I want to do it on my timing and he kept saying no and after a while he showed me something in the daily bread and he turned to another women that was a the desk of the dentist and say something along the lines of me being a dead little girl if I dnt follow the word of God or something similar 😔now this makes me scared and it puts a lot of pressure on me because now idk what to do anymore, and I'm lowkey trying to change and get closer to God in some way

Justsurviving

Date posted: 6w ago

For Christians

I been going to church looking for answers about my false memories if they are even false and overall ocd. Everything that I'm learning about ocd ultimately I get told that it's due to sin and that's why I feel overwhelmed and have the urge to confess on things idk if they are real or not. I just dont know whats my truth my mind Is saying one thing but I need a lot of confirmation if what im thinking its true thats why i been seeking confirmation going to church. Would appreciate a response or if anyone is going through this 🙏

Krome_da

Date posted: 6w ago

Pretty Tough Morning

So I’m not sure how many/if any of you are Christians, but I’m assuming this can still make sense to some of you. This morning has been rough. I’m constantly thinking, “am I saved? Have I never been saved and I’m tricking myself into thinking I am? When I’m listening to Christian music am I doing for the right reasons? Is it too late for me?”. Things I know the truthful answers to but yet I still think these thoughts. I don’t understand why. Why do I constantly think about these “what if”’s? My heart always feels so heavy and I feel as if I need to talk to God right then and there to make it stop and go away. But then am I talking to the Lord for the wrong reasons? And the cycle repeats. Thankfully, day one of my therapy is tonight and I’m hoping to find at least a little clarity on this stuff. I’ve had OCD for 7 years and I don’t even know how it works. Any advice?

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Daughter asked 2 go 2 church but I have trauma.

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