Tw: death and panic attacks I think I just had an extreme panic attack, basically my mom picked me up and as we were driving I saw an ambulance, I didn’t know where it was going then I looked on the floor and there was an old woman on the floor. There was two people with her, I thought that she might have slipped or something because I would feel like the people around her would look more distressed idk. But then my mom goes she’s dead, I got really stressed and kept saying why did you say that why did you say that and almost was going to cry. And then a few seconds later I couldn’t breathe my chest was overworking and I could feel my lungs struggling, (I have asthma so I thought maybe it’s an asthma attack) but my inhaler wasn’t working and there was nothing to trigger it. And usually I cough a lot if I have an asthma attack and my chests aches afterwards. But after I could feel my heart beating in my chest, I think because I got so worked up.

I just did a panic attack because we were talking about death in english class today.

Don’t mind me just riding out a massive anxiety attack after a few rough weeks of actual health issues. I have major health anxiety and I’ve had 2 awful asthma attacks recently due to wildfire smoke coming into our area. I hate having asthma because I didn’t know I had it for so long. And I never really know if my shortness of breath is anxiety or asthma 😭😩 It freaks me out whenever I have to get treatment for it because they always run an EKG to make sure my heart is fine. After having COVID last year (then getting the vaccination) one of my new anxieties is developing random blood clots despite being physically healthy. I go on Twitter for the memes then the next second I’ll see someone’s personal story about how someone they knew dropped dead randomly from the shot. It freaks me out so bad. Like what?? I don’t want to stop using Twitter either because I like it and don’t want to avoid any triggers. Back to health, they took an X-ray of my lungs the other day as a part of protocol because I couldn’t breathe that well (because I was having an asthma attack 😩) and it freaked me out so bad. Everything came back clear but my discharge papers said to get my heart checked out just in case. My resting heart rate is generally higher because of anxiety anywhere from 75-85. I hate having health anxiety on top of actual health problems. My doctors tell me I’m healthy despite asthma and allergies. Every day is a battle with health anxiety. Sometimes I can’t even workout because I’m so focused on my heart rate or breathing. Like I’m genuinely convinced I’ll die of a random disease I don’t know I have. AnywAY, health anxiety OCD is something I’ve had since I had my first panic attack. As most of you know that anxiety can manifest itself in so many ways it’s horrifying sometimes. Hopefully I feel better again soon bc this ain’t it chief!! 🥺

I went to the hospital Sunday night because I had a racing/pounding heart.. it woke me up from a dead sleep. I thought I was having a heart attack. My partner put their hand over my chest and could feel how fast it was pounding and they got up from a dead sleep to take me to the hospital. I was so confused when they tests came back normal. I think I just had another episode. I got this intense fear that I was going to act out or harm myself. I then felt derealization and an intense anxiety. I almost called 911 on myself. I’ve had small episodes like this before but these last 2 have been super intense. Anyone else experience this?