- Username
- MrsA
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yep. I lost a friend in real life to suicide last year and became utterly convinced I murderered them. The details made absolutely no sense, and yet I came close to confessing many times since it felt so real. I finally realized your brain will never let you ha e certainty and will always come up with a creative reason it’s your fault. Accepting life’s general uncertainty and choosing radical self love over all else (even when ocd says it’s irresponsible, you don’t deserve it, or it’s not ocd this time) is the only way to recovery. You can do it!
Yes.. That is exactly what happens to me
Yep! I’ve had extreme details of murdering people (which I know deep down I would never do), but I’ve spent months trying to prove the ocd wrong. The more compulsions you do, the more your brain latches on. You almost create a detailed pile of junk mail in your brain each time you ruminate. But the level of detail or number of months you ruminate has no basis in reality. Living into the uncertainty and doing erp is the only way out. I know it’s tough! I’ve been there! False memory harm is my main theme.
Omg! I’ve been there! Worst feeling ever!! The thought you could do that to someone even though you know you never could! Yet you can see yourself doing exactly that!
does anyone else experience false memory ocd to the point where u worry ur not remembering something correctly? like multiple things and then u distort a memory in ur head that ur not even sure is correct, or warped, or it's exactly what happened. kinda like u overthink it so much that it keeps changing and ur not sure what even happened anymore. so u start questioning and worrying if this happened and then u come up with countless scenarios of what could've happened? idk if that makes sense..
It starts off with thinking you’ve done something wrong but it’s hazy it doesn’t say what but it fits with what you’re afraid of. It then starts adding pictures and scenarios and they start to become more and more detailed until you don’t know what’s real or not anymore. I’ve struggled with this for almost 15 years of the same false memories occasionally adding more details. Has anyone else had this experience of false memories becoming so detailed it’s hard to argue against?
I deal with false memories, I’ve had a few that have been pretty bad, but normally I’ve been able to tell myself “hey, this is false.” I remembered something a few months ago, and a genuinely don’t know if it’s false? When I first remembered it, it never crossed my mind at all that it could be false. I just assumed it was entirely true. But now that I’ve been thinking about it, there is a possibility that it could be false. It supposedly took place last year during the fall or winter, I remembered it last august. It’s an extremely extremely specific scenario, and the memory is kinda complex. I also vaguely remember remembering it earlier, but it now affecting me that much? Although that could have just been having intrusive thoughts related to the subject. With my confusion on whether or not this memory is false of course comes my ocd shoving it’s way into everything. Something my brain has been telling me recently is “if the memory could be false then maybe only parts of it are and you’re actually just a terrible person” (that would make more sense if I explained the memory). And now I have to keep reminding myself that it’s either all true or it’s all fake, because our ocd would not produce the “better part” of the memory without producing the “worse part”.
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