- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Anxiety has a way of making you think this will be a permanent thing- it will not be. Try to separate yourself from the thoughts and realize that they are not you, they are your anxiety
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you!
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm honestly in the same exact boat as you girl. Just know you're not alone.
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel like this is how the rest of my life is going to be. ?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 Same. It's truly terrifying. Are you seeing a therapist?
- Date posted
- 5y
@NocturnalGyal Yes! And been out on cymbalta and Ativan for my panic attacks and to help me sleep. I haven’t been sleeping because I just lay there and worry.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123 Yup. I just started my medication. The anxiety got way worse and so did the thoughts. Now I'm just so emotionally numb and indifferent to everything and that scares me because I feel so disconnected from my bf. Which feeds the HOCD so much ?? is it CBT or talk therapy?
- Date posted
- 5y
@NocturnalGyal Exactly! I’m so numb and it’s almost giving me relationship ocd because now I’m questioning if all of this is happening because I’m not meant to be with him or something. Which is awful cuz I’ve always felt he was the one and I still want to be with him for forever:( I believe it’s just talk therapy but I’m aware I need to see someone more aware of ocd and is trained in ocd.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ocdandme123, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I really haven't dealt with this type of OCD , but have dealt with almost every other type. All I can say is thoughts are just thoughts, it's just the fear of what they mean that is causing anxiety. If you have a thought that makes you anxious address it like you would a bully , agree with it by saying yup that's true, I'm going to do that ( sarcastically, like talking back to a bully, not bc it's true). Also if you've made out with other friends, who cares, I had a friend in college who kissed a girl and I heard her telling the guy she was seeing to show off. She was perfectly straight and is happily married. What your friend said if it's causing such extreme anxiety, it's OCD and they told you something trying to help but we're in the wrong. I'm not a doctor so just my opinion.
- Date posted
- 5y
Of course, sorry your struggling though . If you're avoiding and not seeing a therapist, you may want to expose yourself little by little with the help of a doctor. One more thing , if working with a doc and facing the situation, remember what you feel and your thoughts are caused by OCD/fear, not some other reason . When facing your fear this might be an example of the internal dialog you could use( check with your doc, I used this in my therapy),I'm going to see this person today and might be scared but anything I feel is caused by false messages to my brain and that's ok, I don't have to be afraid of what I feel/ think( I know it can be uncomfortable) and just let that feeling pass through, don't fight it and keep going on with what you're doing
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes I’ve been seeing a therapist for about a month now. I’ve seen her roughly 5 times so I’m going a lot because I need it and will hopefully help. But I think I need to see someone more specialized in ocd or even hocd. Someone with more experience in this stuff.
- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes I’ve been told to just accept the thoughts and they will eventually not cause the fear you get from it now. And yes before, I never had a problem with it at all. I would laugh and say omg I’ve made out with so many girls blah blah. But now I can’t even think about being alone with a girl. It’s so scary of what I would feel or think. It’s just crazy how this wasn’t a thing ever before and now it’s eating me alive. Thank you for your input though!
- Date posted
- 5y
OCD specialist is definitely the best route. You should check out Chrissie Hodges, she's a peer support specialist and can direct you to a good OCD doctor. ERP therapy can be a bit tough so if you aren't comfortable with a doc always remember you have a choice with the pace you take and doctor you decide to stay with. Good luck to you!!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks so much!!
- Date posted
- 5y
Oh I’ve watched a couple of her YouTube videos! How do I contact her?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 13w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
- Date posted
- 8w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond