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- 5y
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Anxiety has a way of making you think this will be a permanent thing- it will not be. Try to separate yourself from the thoughts and realize that they are not you, they are your anxiety
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Thank you!
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I'm honestly in the same exact boat as you girl. Just know you're not alone.
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I feel like this is how the rest of my life is going to be. ?
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@Ocdandme123 Same. It's truly terrifying. Are you seeing a therapist?
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@NocturnalGyal Yes! And been out on cymbalta and Ativan for my panic attacks and to help me sleep. I haven’t been sleeping because I just lay there and worry.
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@Ocdandme123 Yup. I just started my medication. The anxiety got way worse and so did the thoughts. Now I'm just so emotionally numb and indifferent to everything and that scares me because I feel so disconnected from my bf. Which feeds the HOCD so much ?? is it CBT or talk therapy?
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@NocturnalGyal Exactly! I’m so numb and it’s almost giving me relationship ocd because now I’m questioning if all of this is happening because I’m not meant to be with him or something. Which is awful cuz I’ve always felt he was the one and I still want to be with him for forever:( I believe it’s just talk therapy but I’m aware I need to see someone more aware of ocd and is trained in ocd.
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@Ocdandme123, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I really haven't dealt with this type of OCD , but have dealt with almost every other type. All I can say is thoughts are just thoughts, it's just the fear of what they mean that is causing anxiety. If you have a thought that makes you anxious address it like you would a bully , agree with it by saying yup that's true, I'm going to do that ( sarcastically, like talking back to a bully, not bc it's true). Also if you've made out with other friends, who cares, I had a friend in college who kissed a girl and I heard her telling the guy she was seeing to show off. She was perfectly straight and is happily married. What your friend said if it's causing such extreme anxiety, it's OCD and they told you something trying to help but we're in the wrong. I'm not a doctor so just my opinion.
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Of course, sorry your struggling though . If you're avoiding and not seeing a therapist, you may want to expose yourself little by little with the help of a doctor. One more thing , if working with a doc and facing the situation, remember what you feel and your thoughts are caused by OCD/fear, not some other reason . When facing your fear this might be an example of the internal dialog you could use( check with your doc, I used this in my therapy),I'm going to see this person today and might be scared but anything I feel is caused by false messages to my brain and that's ok, I don't have to be afraid of what I feel/ think( I know it can be uncomfortable) and just let that feeling pass through, don't fight it and keep going on with what you're doing
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Yes I’ve been seeing a therapist for about a month now. I’ve seen her roughly 5 times so I’m going a lot because I need it and will hopefully help. But I think I need to see someone more specialized in ocd or even hocd. Someone with more experience in this stuff.
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Yes I’ve been told to just accept the thoughts and they will eventually not cause the fear you get from it now. And yes before, I never had a problem with it at all. I would laugh and say omg I’ve made out with so many girls blah blah. But now I can’t even think about being alone with a girl. It’s so scary of what I would feel or think. It’s just crazy how this wasn’t a thing ever before and now it’s eating me alive. Thank you for your input though!
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OCD specialist is definitely the best route. You should check out Chrissie Hodges, she's a peer support specialist and can direct you to a good OCD doctor. ERP therapy can be a bit tough so if you aren't comfortable with a doc always remember you have a choice with the pace you take and doctor you decide to stay with. Good luck to you!!
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Thanks so much!!
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Oh I’ve watched a couple of her YouTube videos! How do I contact her?
Related posts
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- 17w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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- 13w
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
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- 9w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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