This was unprofessional right?

People tell me to go to a ocd specialist but im traumatized from it. Idk if I have pocd or p*do but the therapist asked me "but u dont like it..right?" and it traumatized me cuz for me it feels like i feel unwanted attraction and pleasure and unwanted desire?? And she looked at my face/into my eyes and i said "No" and it was a lie , because i feel unwanted pleasure/"liking" and after that I never went to it again and i cried so hard in the arms of the parent who sexually abused me

User type: Therapist

Date posted: Yesterday

I'm so sorry to hear about the traumatic experience you had in therapy; it takes a lot of courage to share something so personal, especially when it involves such difficult feelings and a history of abuse. It's incredibly important to feel safe and understood by a therapist, and it sounds like that wasn't the case for you. OCD can often create intense internal conflict, making it hard to distinguish between unwanted thoughts or feelings and genuine desires, which can be terrifying. If you’re struggling and need more assistance, remember that help is available. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at NOCD to find out how we can support you. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/not-turned-on-by-my-partner/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-incest-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/can-i-trust-myself-around-children-a-therapists-advice

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Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you for this, so it was not normal/okay for them to say that right? Pocd therapists arent supposed to ask that right?☹️😓 Also they told me my fear of heart attack is psychosis

User type: Therapist

Date posted: Yesterday

Hello •, I agree with what Wilda Rodriguez-Barnett shared and to clarify a distinction between pocd and p*do. Someone with pocd worries about the content of the thoughts and this causes distress. This means that it goes against your values, but OCD makes you question if you are violating that value. On the other hand p*do enjoys the thoughts and does not seek to remove the thoughts due to worry about having the thoughts, as they find it enjoyable. OCD does not take information and accept it as enough, which is the inherent challenge with OCD and related conditions. Have you been assessed? If you have not yet been assessed and are unsure where to start, at NOCD we are trained experts in the diagnosis and treatment of OCD and related conditions. At NOCD we use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), the gold standard of treatment for OCD and related conditions. If you would like more information on OCD and ERP, please visit our website at www.treatmyocd.com. If you are ready to begin/resume your journey of recovery, please reach out to our member advocate team at care@nocdhelp.com to enroll in services. I hope this message reaches you well and know that at NOCD, we are always here to help! Take care, Ian M. Reeder

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Date posted: 23h ago

I worry about the thoughts and "attraction" and i just want it gone, but for me its not just thoughts, i feel unwanted attraction or whatever it is, unwanted "enjoyment", unwanted need to stare/look at their body even tho i just want it to stop/i just want it gone. And i have a bunch of realevent ocd stuff too that could prove it might be real. And i think i was sexually abused as a child too

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 17h ago

It sounds like you had a deeply distressing and invalidating experience with your previous therapist, and it's completely understandable why that would be traumatizing, especially given your history. OCD can create very confusing and intense thoughts and feelings that can feel incredibly real and unwanted. Specialized care for OCD is designed to understand these complexities without judgment. If you’d like additional support, feel free to book a free call with our NOCD team. We’d be happy to share more information and explore ways to help. No one has to live in fear of their own thoughts. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/not-turned-on-by-my-partner/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-incest-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/can-i-trust-myself-around-children-a-therapists-advice

imani22

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17h ago

Hi, I commented on your other post, but wanted to share an OCD theme of mine that I used to struggle with. I thought it might (hopefully) be helpful to hear as there are some similarities. I was absolutely terrified to be around knives in the kitchen because I was scared I would stab a family member. I was so scared that, what if I lose control of myself? What if I temporarily lose sanity and stab everyone? It was extremely distressing to me. With OCD, your thoughts are distressing to you because they go against your values. You're terrified of the thing happening or being true. Now that I've been treating my OCD for a while, I don't even suffer from this particular theme anymore. I'm perfectly fine handling knives in the kitchen now. The reason I was so terrified was because it was something I actively did not want to do, something I thought of as evil and wrong. That's the kind of thing that OCD latches onto. Your greatest fears and things that you view as morally wrong

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Date posted: 16h ago

Thank you for sharing parts of your story. I genuinely appreciate it. For me im confused because it goes against my values and i just want it gone, but then im confused about why i did my real events? Because as u read, i did some rly, rly bad stuff, there's more i did too, like i purposefully tried to find weird stuff because i felt a severe "need" to see it and i dont understand whats wrong with me and as i said i think i was s*xually abused but idk if thats why or not or whats wrong with me. I did a bunch of weirs stuff, i especially became obsessed with tr*fficking stuff and i even became obsessed with a survivor and obsessively read her story and tried to find out what she looked like and became completely obsessed. I have some memories that indicate i MIGHT experienced a tr*fficking event when i was rly young but yeah i dont remember and idk if thats why or whats wrong with me. And with the stuff i said with the 13-14 year old social media accounts, i found their body attractive and did not even care ,and the 14 year old id sometimes look at her social media pictures repeatedly and searched up her tiktok without her knowing, and i do NOT want s*x with her, but i dont understand why i did that and why i felt like an obsession nearly to do it, if im not a P, and i dont even think that was trauma response because i was abused as a tiny child, not teen

misereri

Date posted: 15w ago

Urgent: i need yalls opinion

Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?

POCD

Northern_Dow...

Date posted: 12w ago

Real Event OCD is a different breed (18+)

Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.

Insephy

Date posted: 8w ago

New therapist

Today I had my first appointment with my new therapist in a clinic and she told me that my thoughts could be because of my past trauma and that it’s what makes most people pedos. I’m so in distress right now, I don’t want to hurt people but she made me feel like I’m disgusting

POCD

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This was unprofessional right?

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