I feel that majorly right now. I just finished up my semester, but throughout it I was completely unable to get myself together. Now, on the other side of it, I'm noticing all the OCD things that were building up over time, and I'm reminded that it never goes away. It can be discouraging, I know. In the end, I think it does come down to just coping sometimes. Do the best that you can, feel as good as you can even if it isn't much, do something you enjoy, rest when possible, don't put pressure on yourself to do better. It's sort of a paradox because we want to feel better and we need to perform in certain areas of our life, but when it comes to your mental health, there is no top performance and there isn't any expectation or guarantee. I've been told that I need to be more compassionate toward myself, but there's no blueprint for that. I've been trying to relax and let go of things, but that isn't always a possibility. What I think helps me the most is taking time to recover during or after things get really tough, reminding myself that there is no need to beat this thing or get rid of it, and that I will have good and bad days as I manage it
You're quite overstimulated and burnt out right now, I can see that. Consider how you might relax, even a little, and do it for however long you can, as consistently as you can. You will feel like it won't help, especially when your symptoms keep flaring, but that's because your mind is so fed up and angry at things. It's feeling bad so all it can see is the bad, and it's freaking out over the prospect of having to feel that in the future. But if you can do some small things to reduce some of the feeling or distract yourself from it here and there, it can help by reducing the total amount of thoughts and feelings bombarding your senses over time. Even if you don't feel immensely better, it will make a difference.
Also, take care of yourself when it comes to sleep, nutrition, and hygiene. Any effort you can put into that is better than none; it helps your body have less to deal with physically and it can provide you with the things you need to get through each day. Make that a priority. Part of what made my emotional state and my motivation so bad recently was that I didn't take care of myself while dealing with stress and anxiety, but then I would keep ending up in worse thought patterns, worse situations in my classes, and with worse self care. Don't wait to feel better if you want to break the cycle. Do things to mitigate it, and don't get frustrated at times when it doesn't go well. If you maintain some mental and physical well-being, you'll be able to wait it out. When it cools down, you'll have the chances to get back where you want to be. But it starts with accepting that you will always have better and worse days, and that you just need to keep going rather than always expecting the best to and from yourself.
