rocd-help

I am tired of talking with chat gbt for reasurance or to calm myself, im tired of searching reddit posts on r/rocd so i can read the comments to get an answer on how to get better, to post here 10 times a day so someone can say something that will calm me, all this things used to get me better a little, but now they dont and in still doing them, but in tired, i want this to stop, my thoughts are so persistent and it comes with bad negative feelings about my relationship, my boyfriend, i have so much fear in me its insane, i feel like i have changed and all the thoughts that once i knew they were fake they feel now that they are the reality that i dont accept. It breaks my heart to read stuff from people that say “when i am with him my thoughts goes away “ because mine doesn’t. I feel iritated, angry, disgusted for no reason at all, I see people saying that i care about my relationship and my boyfriend because i dont like these thoughts but, my therapist said to me “you can care about people and dont like them” or something like that, also when i told her “when these thoughts started i knew they were fake and i always said they are not real i dont want them” and she said something like “you can tell is snowing outside but its not true because its warm and sunny” My thoughts feel so real, i feel like im not like the others with rocd. Also this thing about choosing love and choosing your partner is bringing me into a spiarl because what if i dont want my partner? what if i only want to feel better and not to love him? What if all this time i though i felt live was just me pretending to feel love because i put high expectations on this relationship? what if i dont love him for who he is? what if i never loved him? i have a long list of what ifs. I cant go to therapy anymore due to more factors and also it was not beneficial for me at all. i just want peace. Im scared if getting better bc im scared that i will realise my thoughts are true. what if im i. denial? my thoughts scream at me affrirmations like “i dont love him” also being intimate is so hard. can somebody tell me some advice?

Normen

Date posted: Yesterday

I also still struggle and its exhausting i feel u completely, ik i respond to u again but i really feel the same

Kalidescope

Date posted: Yesterday

I am going through my own version of Rocd this morning.... Weekends bring it out more...Let's just take a moment and pause & breathe.... It is 11:35am mst and I am going to set a timer and just be...& breathe...if you would like to....do the same and we can just breathe and know we are not alone.

Bryar___

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

yea be careful what you read. the Dreaminess of feeling totally calm and peaceful as long as your partner is with you is a. slippery slope. I also have Rocd as a big theme and I'm really wrecking my peace and her peace because of this same kind of stuff we're supposed to lean into trusting them because we love them. more than the OCD. Even if your partner is super in love with you, they should spend time through the day without you there. That's human and normal missing them, super reasonable. Leaning into the WHAT IF Rocd is EASIER than trusting yourself that you know your relationship is going well. Look at all the signs of it going well. See if you can prioritize the good of your connection over the fear of loneliness. Good luck😌 lmk how it goes. I'm struggling to do this. just got in an argument with my partner 😔

meowmeow1!!!

Date posted: Yesterday

You are not alone at all! Whenever I get upset with my partner I’m so scared they will leave me or I’ll end up leaving them because of past trauma. Or sometimes he will annoy me to be funny like using sarcasm and I will think about it and get upset with myself thinking he was being serious in a situation. I have ADD maybe Audhd so it’s really hard to regulate emotions and understand intent behind others emotions too. But I have similar thoughts like you do and it is so difficult to sit in them. Sometimes I feel like my expectations in my mind will be high at some points and then when I come back to reality I’m like….thats excessive. And other times it’s not because you deserve more than the bare minimum. I’m still really struggling with intimacy but honestly sometimes seeing them and looking at them during the act actually helps me stay focused and just enjoy the moment with them. I get nervous thinking I thought of the wrong things or someone else afterwards even though I know i was focused on them and that was it. But keeping your eyes open for some reason has helped me a ton🤣. Writing your thoughts of how you feel helps so you can come back to them and say ah so this is what I feel and this is very contradicting to my thoughts. Write your expectations out! If you truly think it’s excessive then you can get there when you do but that way you can see that they really aren’t that high. I hope this kinda helps since we are a bit similar!

JesusIsLord7

Date posted: Yesterday

Heyy 🙏🏻🙏🏻 I am very sorry you are going through this 😞 and very sorry I am not sure I have a good answer: but I can only say that I have experienced this exact same thing; (I am not sure if I am viewing something wrong in what you experience🙏🏻🙏🏻 I'm very sorry if I do!) I have been with my boyfriend for about a year, and after a little while dating I suddenly felt so angry and annoyed all the time; suddenly it was as if he could do nothing right in my eyes anymore, I was always jealous and annoyed and seeing negative things that I am not even sure were there.. I recognize what you write about feeling like you don't even like the person at times.. I felt the same way, and it all confused me so much and made me feel so guilty! (I don't mean to trigger anybody so super sorry if I would!; but in my case it was also a little related to trauma in my childhood) but recently I discovered by coincidence that OCD can make you feel very critical, because we tend to be critical of ourselves, or even in some cases dislike or reject ourselves, and this could also at times affect how we see other people, though we don't want to! I am so sorry I am not sure what advice to give you ❤.. All I know is that what helped me a little,was realizing that it could be OCD, that was affecting my thoughts on my boyfriend, and when I would get a negative, icky or critical feeling, I would (though easier said than done of course!❤) try to 'take a step back', and ask myself if there was any grounds/reason for the feeling, or it could be OCD, and in some cases it eventually made me able to see that maybe it was (largely or fully) my own OCD and not him 🙏🏻 and if it was him, it helped me to say things I felt to him in a much nicer and kinder way, as I really wanted to ❤ Understanding that OCD can make you feel insecure or critical towards yourself, and healing from that, as far as you are able 🙏🏻🙏🏻💕 and being kinder to yourself might help you in your relationship as well (But please correct me, anyone, if I am wrong! I am not an expert so my advice may be wrong ❤)

Mariabae

Date posted: 27d

i need help, i dont know what is happening

I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.

Mariabae

Date posted: 22d

please read- rocd… or is it? im in agony

Hi. I wanted to stop posting here, but I can’t hold it in anymore. I’m feeling so lost. I’m in a relationship that, from the outside, looks wonderful. We’ve been together for 2 years. He loves me deeply. He’s kind and caring. And still… I can’t feel anything. I can’t imagine a future with him — living together, starting a family, growing old. When I try, it feels like something in me shuts down, like it’s wrong. I don’t feel happiness in the relationship. I don’t feel love, warmth, or comfort. I feel anxiety, numbness, guilt, and fear. We fight over the smallest things. My thoughts scream that I don’t love him, that I’m forcing this, that I’m just used to him. The scariest part is: sometimes I feel okay, even calm. And that’s when it hits me — “What if this calm means I’ve accepted the truth? What if I don’t love him?” It feels like I’m in shock. Like I’m finally seeing clearly… but I’m terrified that it’s a clarity I never wanted. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I just know that I’m exhausted. And I want peace. If anyone else has felt this — the numbness, the fear, the doubt that feels like the truth — please tell me how you’ve gotten through it. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this. i know that people reading this will tell me to leave. but i dont have any reasons. All the problems started because of my never ending thoughts. i feel like i ruin everything. i feel like i have changed. im so lost and scared. i dont understand what is happening. It feels so real. im in agony, im crying so much. I wasnt always like this. i am trying to remember times i felt better and i cant. i cant feel anything. its so hard. i can’t explain how i feel and in scared what are you going to respond if someone will. i usually see “if you feel so bad then leave” but its not like that. he loves me so much and if the thoughts werent there it would gave been so different. everything was perfect. but i keep thinking that when the thoughts started, one and a half years ago, i realised that “i just dont like him” and gbat i couldn’t accept the truth and i am denying it. i feel fake. do i even have rocd? or is this cope?? why do i feel like this. why does it feel so real? please somebody help me

Mariabae

Date posted: 13d

my chest hurts.

feel like I’ve been stuck in this ROCD cycle for so long that I don’t even know what’s real anymore. Everything feels so heavy and confusing. I keep having thoughts like “I don’t love him,” “I never really did,” “I’m just used to him,” or “I’m staying out of guilt or fear.” They come with a strong emotional pull that makes it feel like I’m finally facing some ‘truth’ — but I don’t even know what that truth is. Even when things are going well with my boyfriend — when he’s loving, caring, affectionate — I still feel disconnected, like I can’t feel love or calmness. And then I feel guilty for not feeling what I think I should feel. I overthink everything: memories, how I used to feel, how I feel now, what I might feel tomorrow. I can’t tell if I’m just scared to lose him or if I’m trying to force something that isn’t there. I’ve read so much about ROCD and I know I’m supposed to sit with the thoughts and let them pass, but sometimes they feel so real that I don’t know how to keep going. Sometimes I even feel numb and that scares me too — like if I don’t react with panic, it must be true. I just want peace. I want clarity. I want to stop analyzing and doubting every moment. Has anyone else felt this way? How do you sit with this and not spiral? Thank you so much for reading. 💔

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

rocd-help

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community