Please respond I need a helping friend

So I don’t know if this is real event ocd or false memory ocd or maybe it can be both but when I was in one of my worst ocd episodes I had to record every conversation i interacted with because I would think I’m saying my thoughts out loud. So after work me and my mom went to a family’s birthday party and on the way there I was already scared that when they would open the door that i would say something inappropriate so I put my phone in my purse to make sure I didn’t. I ended up doing that getting past them but I can’t remember if I turned off my phone I feel and know that I did but not remembering every specific detail makes me think that evedybody there knows I’m recording people and that ima weirdo. I hate that I even had the ocd theme, I hate that I needed to record conversations to make myself feel better because now I look like a weirdo that’s taking videos without consent.

SeanUK88

Date posted: 12d

I feel for you so much 🙏 I used to have false memory ocd and would spend days even weeks going over the most uninteresting mundane interactions with other people to make sure I didnt say or do anything I shouldnt have and then I would still doubt the outcome in my mind until I was mentally exhausted and literally couldnt do it anymore. As someone that overcome this ocd theme I will tell you. It is never ever as bad as your ocd mind imagines it, We are hyper alert on edge and judging ourselves way to harshly when we are in the throws of an ocd spiral. A conversation you might spend days ruminating about is most likely forgotten by the person you had it with 5 minutes after the fact. They dont know what your going through and are not judging you the same way you are judging yourself. We give far too much mental energy to trying to deduce how others perceive us when the truth is, They dont really notice or even care. Then you end up exhausted and imagining other negative scenarios because you cant think straight. Please try to be kind and compassionate to yourself instead of scrutinising yourself. Ocd is a vile bully that makes you think your the one in the wrong. I assure you, You are not!

Anonymous

Date posted: 12d

You guys comments are so sweet and loving and I’m glad this space can make me feel seen. I thank you for the kind words of encouragement. You all made my morning better.

Allison💗🦊

Date posted: 12d

This sounds like false memory ocd. And even if they knew u were recording they probably didn’t think anything of it anyway

Anonymous

Date posted: 12d

Okay, what if it was a child’s birthday party? I should be more worried

Anonymous

Date posted: 12d

@Anonymous - Also will like to add that my phone kept dying and I would have to leave to charge it but I’m not remembering if I continued. It’s like I know morals but my brain doesn’t believe it does sometimes

Allison💗🦊

Date posted: 12d

@Anonymous Maybe, maybe not. It’s not gonna bring u clarity ruminating about it. But I will say that usually ppl can tell when u have bad intentions or not so even if they did notice u recording it likely wouldnt have sent off alarm bells for them

Anonymous

Date posted: 12d

@Allison💗🦊 - You are an amazing person thank you for calming my morning

Allison💗🦊

Date posted: 12d

@Anonymous 🫂

Anonymous

Date posted: 25w

I can’t figure it out

I have a bunch of real event/false memory and there is one that I remember I got in the middle of a horrible episode and I believed it was false but now I can’t remember why I thought it was false and now believe it could be real and it’s just bothering me so much because I want to remember the details to why I believed it was false in the first place and I’m just in a horrible spot and feel disgusting and am getting intrusive thoughts on my themes when I try to check if they are intrusive or not and I can’t function like i don’t wanna be around anyone because all I want to do is confess but I can’t because then I’ll obsess on confessing and they won’t understand.

amelia:3

Date posted: 25w

how to deal with real event + false memory??

im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!

Twilightprin...

Date posted: 24w

Some advice please- I feel like my life is falling

I went out 2 years ago with some friends and I can’t remember some of the night - we went to a house party and my friends say nothing happened but I’m so afraid that I cheated on my partner and don’t remember it. It’s consuming my every minute and I can’t let it go. I was reading up on false memory ocd the other day and it triggered me into thinking what if something I imagined happening actually happened and I don’t know what to do and I’m scared that because I imagined something a certain way that if it wasn’t the same thing I imagined that it must be true

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