My morality

I agree. We all make mistakes in life especially in our teenager years when we are still learning and developing.

@Anonymous I cant...

@Lindalu66 i wish i was as wise and as kind as you... but my events were genuinely horrible... I can never be forgiven...

@Lindalu66 I edited my response...

@Lindalu66 I feel as though moving on means that I'm not holding myself accountable, that im just "getting away" with everything... I refuse to, not because of some sick enjoyment of peoples pain and suffering... but because as I have unintentionally and intentionally hurt people, and someone has to make me pay... so I'm making myself pay... and punishing myself... because its what I've deserved... but never thought about until i started to really grow up...

@Love1another<3 These were extremely horrible mistakes. I only can talk about this with a therapist, but I messed up horribly... you're a kind person who deserves all the love in the world.

@Givenup Thank you so much :) Though, I believe you deserve just as much love as you give to others. I can tell that you’re a super caring person from how much regret you have. It’s good to recognize when we did things wrong. But it’s extremely unhealthy to live with regret forever. Are you gonna live with regret for the next 40 years over something you did as a teen? Or maybe it makes more sense to let it go as you learn to grow, forgive yourself, and learn to love yourself moving forward

@Love1another<3 Trust me... I dont... you'd think i was disgusting if you knew... thats why i can only talk about my situations with a therapist... because i did messed up things as a high schooler and middle schooler that im atoning for to this day... i want to help people... i wanna be a naval officer, go to med school, and help others for a living... but no matter what I do or dont, I can never achieve atonement for my sins... and I'm not a good person... you are a good person... so keep moving forward knowing you are kind and loved by so many people...

@Givenup I’ve also done messed up things when I was younger. Everyone in the world has as no one is perfect. I also used to think I was a horrible person and I was embarrassed to share what I was dealing with. Thinking of our past mistakes and things we regret can be really good sometimes because it helps us change our behaviors going forward. But honestly aside from that, there’s no use in living in regret forever and it’s a waste of your precious time. Instead of spending time torturing yourself, you could be spending time achieving your goals like helping others, volunteering, focusing on school, making friends, meeting the love of your life, getting a sweet dog, etc. Imagine all the amazing things we could all achieve if we weren’t dedicating so much time to compulsing and punishing ourselves 😄 All of us with OCD could gather together and solve world hunger lol. Whatever mistakes you’ve made- it doesn’t matter to me as I’d still want you to live a life better than this. I want you to find peace and happiness. There’s so much more to life than things you did years ago that no longer exist now in this moment. They’re gone ❤️‍🩹

@Love1another<3 1. This is why I will continue to advocate that you are a truly kind person who deserves love... 2. Some peoples skeletons are a whole lot more dark and messed up than others... my entire middle school and high school life is full of disgusting skeletons... I'm not someone that can be forgiven, and I don't want to be... because I refuse to not hold myself accountable to the choices I have made in my life... I want to be a NAVY medical officer... i just got nationally certified as an EMT... but no matter what i do, no matter what kindness i will bring to others in the future, the mistakes I have made cannot be atoned...

@Givenup 1st, thank you very much :) I’m always glad to help. 2nd, I’ll offer you some questions for you to reflect on: 1. What if I said that you can do horrible things, hold yourself accountable, not repeat those mistakes again, and still go on to live a life as a new & improved version of yourself? That’s typically what people do as you only get one life to live and you should make the most of it. 2. Congrats on getting nationally certified! That’s an amazing achievement. Since that field is a big part of your life, I want you to think about this: You said you want to help people and I’m sure you can! As a medical officer, I’m sure you’re going to come across both coworkers and patients that are going through depressing times. What if a patient/coworker is in distress and they vent to you about mistakes they have done? Maybe they’ve seen death, maybe they’ve even unfortunately hurt people themselves. How are you gonna help them forgive themselves if you refuse to forgive yourself? How are you gonna pull anyone else out of their depression if you want to remain stuck in yours? How so if you’re gonna have to give them advice on healing, that you can’t yet find it within yourself to follow? (Healing starts within and you have to give advice that you’re willing to put into practice in your own life.)

@Love1another<3 My only point is that in order to help others, you must first help yourself 🙏 In order to love others, you must first love yourself.

@Love1another<3 I'm someone who's always viewed the opposite perspective... I'm someone who fully believes in unconditional love and acceptance of others... because I refuse to be selfish and love myself... Its because of my self-hatred and loathing that I can help others, because as someone who has unintentionally and intentionally hurt people, I know how it feels to hate yourself... and the guilt and shame that comes with the aftermath... Therefore, I can offer people my love and kindness to those who truly regret and suffer for their own actions, as I am going through the same... this does not apply to me because in no way can I, should I, or ever forgive myself, because to me, that makes me selfish and no longer holding myself accountable

@Givenup I seee! So you can offer love to others who make regretful mistakes but not to yourself- because you think that would make you “selfish” and free from accountability. Okay so by that logic, that would ultimately mean that other people shouldn’t love themselves either then because they made mistakes, because it would also make them selfish and free from accountability. I imagine you may say “not that’s not true” and you would say that they deserve to forgive themselves. But if they deserve to forgive themselves, it would be hypocritical of you to say you shouldn’t forgive yourself as well. You guys are in the same position :) If they deserve love & forgiveness, so do you. The same rules apply to you. We can’t pick and choose.