Any image that pops up into my head i automatically assume it’s posted online so i have to check every app to make sure. Or a simple action or word and my brain makes up an imagine like what if you actually did this or said this. I just sniffed or huffed to make a noticed that I was annoyed by my dog and now my brain created this image and now I think I said something.
Journaling helps you to separate whst you are thunking and experiencing from reality. That's why my post are so long. I stopped Journaling a long time ago because people, not strangers, I would let into my home would read through them and use my thoughts as ammunition to hurt me when we were angry with each other. But I don't care about being transparent anymore, because everyone is going to come to their own judgemental conclusions anyway. It's difficult not to. If you read my last anxiety attack. What I was experiencing was real to me. My compulsion was to fight because I felt endangered so I thought he was going to do something were I would have to fight in order to protect myself.. Reality was, a guy being nice even though he was crossing ordinary boundary lines. What I had to control was me. Why. Because my reaction would have been more out of the ordinary then what he was doing, even though what I was intensely feeling was extremely real. And the closer I got to my home the more unsafe I felt. I didn't want to push him away because I thought he would go crazy on me in anger. And I would have placed myself in danger and would have to fight my way out or away. That thought gave me increased stress and anxiety. The only thing I could do was to walk into a bank and cry. I know it's all stupid and weird but that has never happened to me before, ever. And I am so embarrassed because it's crazy to me that it even exists that way, in me, and other people. Some responsed by rolling their eyes into the back of thier heads and others showed empathy. I wasn't even asking for help, I just needed a moment to caught my breath and pull my IT back together. That's it.
Wow, I’m glad that doesn’t affect you anymore but I do have a problem so I used to write everything I said down to remember, down to the date because if I didn’t remember what I said my ocd was going to spiral and think completely different so wouldn’t journaling rehash those ocd compulsions?
How do you possibly forget the intrusive, interrogating, negative, thoughts? Taking a breath to grounding yourself its good and absolutely helpful!
I had a binder, where I wrote out goals that I thought of. Gave them a time limit to achieve, directions of how I would be successful, what it took to make it happen, who i needed, what it involved, what could prevent it from happening, and a midway area of evaluating the progress, readjust the plan and/or extend the time frame if needed. But it could not be a not progreess at all goal, that mean the it was to broad or to big. Those tou have to separate into smaller goals to reach to long-term result. That is what it taught me by doing it. Of course life be lifing and it can get in the way of self sometimes. But what I loved 😍 so much about this binder was when life gave me the moment to reflect .. No matter how much time had past or how much life was lifing, when I'd go back to this binder, I found that a stayed the course and completed those tasks and reached those goals. That grounded me so much in my purpose and I need to go back to that. I am missing something in life? I still have the binder to remind me to create it again. It's was very inspirational. Journaling for me is just a release. Intrusive or not, compulsion or not. Say what's on your mind, write it down then let it go. RELEASE IT. The binder was created when I felt people were reading my thoughts and using my words against me. The binder was still like a journal to me but structured my thought and ideas different. Think it, write it down and release it to win.
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