Learning about OCD is hard

I am just starting therapy (ERP soon) for my OCD. I keep learning new things about OCD and how it can present. I was diagnosed off-hand a long time ago but never believed in the diagnosis. I got a formal diagnosis through NOCD, and I’m choosing to jump in head first. However, I’m convinced my whole life is a lie. All of these thoughts and actions I thought were just part of who I am, are a lie. I don’t think I’ve ever known true freedom now. So much of my life has been doing things because I HAVE to. If I didn’t, I would be in distress or my life would fall apart. I’m trying to learn about OCD, but I can’t stop crying when I read a new article or watch a new video. I know it isn’t my fault. I had some health problems that literally required finding triggers and doing certain rituals so I could literally breathe. But it was so much more then and it is still so much more now. I’m super scared honestly. I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it, but I know it is just that doubtful voice trying to keep me comfortable.

Brandon2020

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21d

OCD is overwhelming. I was 15 at the time and all I knew was that my brain felt like it was on fire and no matter what I did I couldn't make the thoughts go away. I didnt know what was going on but little by little I finally pieced it together and it took till I was 19/20 to finally get a diagnosis and get the treatment ball going. Almost 5 years on and life is completely changed. Its an amazing journey to embark on in overcoming all of the uncertainty, all of the triggers, and being able to feel like you can finally be you in your own mind again at peace. Its an absolutely life changing ordeal and you've made the one of the best decisions you'll ever make by doing this and you aren't alone. There is a wonderful community for support and guidance to help you on your journey!

Maighan Granger

Date posted: 20d

Just know that you are not alone in feeling this. When I started my journey with NOCD it was definitely overwhelming learning about different kinds of OCD and triggers. It will be difficult at first, but speaking from experience it does get easier. You will cry, you will feel overwhelmed, and it will feel like it is too much, at the beginning. But, it will start to get easier the more you continue to confront the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings with your therapist. They will give you tools on how to deal with it outside of sessions as well . You got this!

buggyladyxo

Date posted: 20d

I am at the beginning of my ERP work and I completely feel you. Its very frightening when you learn more and more about ocd and its just been your entire life. I have never cried so much because of all the realizations and discomfort in understanding my own ocd. We almost have to shed away our old self to become a stronger version of us. Its really hard, scary, worrisome, OVERWHELMING, but I keep trying to remind myself it will all be worth it in the end no matter the outcome. You are not alone in the fight and remember, you control the pace. You can do this!!! We all can!!!

notanonymous2

Date posted: 20d

Thanks for showing up in the comments guys 😭😭

hopewrldds

Date posted: 22w

will i eventually understand my ocd better?

i was recently diagnosed with ocd and i think im having a hard time identifying what is my ocd and what isn’t? or im not really sure how to express myself but i feel like i still don’t really know much about ocd and feel like an imposter saying i have it because i don’t know enough about it to really understand it? like all my life these things i would do or say or think or feel were i guess “normal” to me,, so how do i move forward when i don’t know really where to begin?

Anonymous

Date posted: 17w

Help me understand

Hi, I just had a recent diagnosis of OCD. It’s crazy because I never considered it or thought that I had it. There have been some thoughts I look back on that make me wonder if it was OCD the whole time. It came to full fruition recently when I made a bad decision that cascaded into me worrying, and then led me to having these intense intrusive thoughts that I never thought I had. Can OCD magically manifest this intensely for some? I notice a lot of the stories here that people experience all the intrusive thoughts when they were younger. I keep looking back on previous times, making me think I had those same thoughts then. I can’t remember if they were genuine thoughts like I believed them, or if I knew they were bad thoughts and I just got over them. I feel like I am lying to myself every time I have the thoughts and that I’m a bad person because of it. I’m trying to not accept it. I have a few sessions in with my therapist introducing ERP but I wish I could get through this quicker. I feel disgusted with these thoughts and that I might be a bad person. Please help me understand and how to best handle this. Anyone have advice on how to be patient with yourself through this process?

Optimistic

Date posted: 14w

Feeling overwhelmed by diagnosis

I am newly diagnosed with OCD as a 33 year old female I was fat oses with bipolar at 15 and never really identified with it much and totally relate to ocd. I wish i would have known long ago so I could have gotten treatment earlier. Now that I know and am aware and can see what’s off and what are compulsions and my insatiable need for reassurance it’s so overwhelming- it feels like my mind is a prison and attacks me with a new pure o quest as soon as I wake up I’m optimistic I’ll be able to get better but it just feels like it’s time sucking and joy stealing disorder I know I’m not alone here I feel like a crazy person replaying and replaying things I want to know if you can relate or if you have been at this for a while and actually feel like you are breaking free from this Thanks for the read

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