Is anyone's partner forcing them to get over their OCD? I've been dealing with OCD for over 14 years and never really tried to seek out help. I tried CBT a few years ago but didn't really benefit from it so I gave it up after a few months. Fast forward to today, I just got off the phone with my girlfriend who confessed how troubled she is by the severity of my OCD. She's always been accepting of it and even said she found it cute and endearing, but after spending a lot more time together recently she's realized it's a lot more serious than she ever considered. We've talked about having kids for a while now and she just dropped this bomb on me that she doesn't want to a raise a kid in a household that is suffering from a disorder this powerful. While I understand where she's coming from, a part of me does find it a bit unfair that she's asking me to undergo so much change while I would never ask her to do anything comparable. She has so many hesitations about modern medicine and vaccines, and while that bothers me a lot, I don't really mention it because to each their own. But now that I'm being a bit cornered into seeking therapy, I'm now considering bringing all these things up. If I'm willing to seek therapy and get better, why can't she do the same and start trusting medicine a bit more? I'm trusting ERP and CBT, going out on a limb to give therapy one more shot, even seeking out books on hacking my brain to try and get over OCD. How do I go about making her see that if I'm willing to do this for our future family, then she should be willing to start trusting medicine and vaccines as well for the sake of our future kids?

Personally, she should understand that you are soing the best you can as well as seeking help to better yourself for her yourself and your future kids. If she’s already showing signs that shes not supportive of it and its bothering her as well as making you feel like your incapable of having a family then I just think its very unfair to you. Yes, you do have to acknowledge how she is feeling but she should also consider how you feel as well you constantly have to battle these things every single day of your life and you do the best you can yet she picks at your flaws but expects you not to pick at hers or express opinion on things shes pro for no you need to talk to her and you both have to express exactly how you feel and work on your relationship from there.

I definitely think that she should be more understanding, and I agree that she should trust modern medicine. I grew up with a father with pretty severe OCD and it was difficult, I understand where she's coming from to a certain extent. If my dad had seeked help we would have had a much more stable household. I'm not trying to beat you up, but getting help is the best thing you can do for yourself and your future family.

I do understand where she is coming from, but forcing you into getting better isn't really the way to go, and making you feel guilty for not being better isn't going to help you one bit to get there. Also, I think that personally if my partner didn't believe in vaccines and modern medicine to a point that they would stop our kid from using it, I would definitely have to talk to them about it before considering having a kid with them. Just explain that just like your OCD may have an impact on the kid, her mindset towards modern medicine may have an impact on the kid as well. It doesnt have to be accusatory, but an open conversation where your feelings are communicated. You have the right to do so. Ultimately, I hope you are able to feel better for you ❤ and I hope your partner is willing to realize that doing so is possible but will take some time and understanding :) If she is not, then you will find someone someday who is, because you deserve to have somebody who is!