Is anyone's partner forcing them to get over their OCD? I've been dealing with OCD for over 14 years and never really tried to seek out help. I tried CBT a few years ago but didn't really benefit from it so I gave it up after a few months. Fast forward to today, I just got off the phone with my girlfriend who confessed how troubled she is by the severity of my OCD. She's always been accepting of it and even said she found it cute and endearing, but after spending a lot more time together recently she's realized it's a lot more serious than she ever considered. We've talked about having kids for a while now and she just dropped this bomb on me that she doesn't want to a raise a kid in a household that is suffering from a disorder this powerful. While I understand where she's coming from, a part of me does find it a bit unfair that she's asking me to undergo so much change while I would never ask her to do anything comparable. She has so many hesitations about modern medicine and vaccines, and while that bothers me a lot, I don't really mention it because to each their own. But now that I'm being a bit cornered into seeking therapy, I'm now considering bringing all these things up. If I'm willing to seek therapy and get better, why can't she do the same and start trusting medicine a bit more? I'm trusting ERP and CBT, going out on a limb to give therapy one more shot, even seeking out books on hacking my brain to try and get over OCD. How do I go about making her see that if I'm willing to do this for our future family, then she should be willing to start trusting medicine and vaccines as well for the sake of our future kids?

I've been in an on and off (mostly on) relationship for a little over 4 years. During this time my ocd and anxiety have been pretty consistent until the last year-ish. During the last year it's slowly gotten better and I have made great strides. I'm doing better than ever with minor flare ups, but nothing compared to before when ocd and anxiety ruled my mind. I was in counseling for a while last year (my counselor had to drop his clients for another job, I'll probably be back in counseling eventually but im not in a rush because I'm doing a lot better than when I started therapy) and that helped. Research about ocd has helped me. Most of all a strong will to get better has helped me most. One thing that I struggle with is that my girlfriend is my main trigger now. I don't have rocd and I don't obsess on her. Her carelessness (in reference to how careful I am in daily life), her kind of lack of common sense, her over emotional tendencies (I know females are naturally more emotional), the fact that she's so mean on her period that there's really no excuse, she treats me like a crush she's known for 2 weeks instead of her boyfriend of years, and she has a bit of a temper although she never crosses the line into abuse. All these things give me anxiety and bring back my intrusive thoughts. When she's gone they go back to a manageable place. When she's around or about to come around it is like a time bomb of ocd and anxiety. Most women I've dated (pretty much all casual except the woman I'm with now) have brought similar feelings out in me. I like living my daily life alone. I'm not sure if it's my girlfriend or just the fact that I'm in a relationship with another person regardless of who that person is triggers my ocd and anxiety. I'm a high twenties male dating a female that's my age. Sometimes I feel like I have no right to want to be treated differently since my ocd and anxiety are not easy to deal with, so dealing with other people's issues is just a fair trade? Idk. I'd really appreciate some input on my situation. Please feel free to comment your true thoughts. I'm not a sensitive person so realism is best for me.

Does anyone have any advice for helping your partner deal with your ocd? Mine is getting frustrated feeling it's stupid and finds intrusive thoughts I try and share hurtful.

I have been with my SO going in 13 years now. We met in college and have been together ever since. We got married in 2021 and welcomed a baby girl in the world last year. I had a severe mental breakdown in 2013 that landed me in the hospital because I was contemplating suicide. That breakdown nearly destroyed our relationship. I had severe intrusive thoughts and felt the need to tell him all of them. I felt like if I didn’t tell him, I was lying. I destroyed his self esteem, telling him all of the mean thoughts I had about him. I would feel the need to tell him anytime I saw an attractive guy in public, I questioned our relationship and told him I wasn’t sure if I loved him anymore. It was bad and very dark. Fast forward to now and I feel like I’m letting him down in different ways. I don’t feel the need to tell him every thought I have now but since having my daughter my OCD and depression seem to be getting worse. I just feel like I’m no longer happy and my daughter should’ve had a mom that wasn’t damaged like me. Didn’t have the abusive childhood like me. Wasn’t broken like me. I feel so much guilt. It’s putting such a strain on our relationship and I feel like my husband deserves someone better. Someone whose happier.