Idk why but while I was doing erp my brain told me to look at her chest and I tried covering that part but I still looked… why did I do that? Anyone else have this happen? This has happened multiple times… (edited)
This is happening because you are still mentally checking and seeing what reaction you would get out of it if you looked and no matter how much you try to avoid it, it actually makes the ocd worse because you are fearful of everything. If you didn’t have ocd you’d probably look at her chest and think nothing of it, but you do have ocd and you can’t help that so you check you feelings on everything you look at knowing you are going to have an intrusive thought or reaction to it. Label it as soon as you think of it and say “this is an intrusive thought” “it means nothing of my actual character because intrusive thoughts are scary and the opposite of my desires and character” you are not a bad person and everybody has thoughts we just react differently and that’s okay. Also try and not label it as a threat and not a thought where it will affect you intentions. At the end of the day THEY ARE JUST THOUGHTS. Show them who’s boss and let the thought be there without reacting to show strength and improvement! You’ve got this!
@Anonymous 168 The thing is idk why I’m doing that like my mind told me to do it or else idk why but like I had to my mind didn’t give me a choice ☹️
@Shaodidi That’s not YOU. It is your brain giving you something to do “or else” something bad will happen but that is OCD not your true self. The fact that you are disturbed and upset by this is no means your intention so you have to live with it and being upset by the fact you did that is not your true self and you have to learn co exist with your thoughts. My brain tells me to do that all the time and I know I don’t want to do it so I don’t pay any mind to it. We are humans and that’s what we do and we are curious but just more hyper-fixated than the rest of people. I call it kind of a superpower 😂 maybe not the intrusive thoughts cause omg are they mentally draining but I learn to co exist with it and if you truly want to change you have to calm down your nervous system, go to therapy, meditate, DO NOT LAY IN YOUR BED AND WALLOW. I’ve been through it and still am but I learn to co exist and move on cause we don’t want to be like this forever. Show strange and fierceness and tell that thought to shut up and shove it where the sun don’t shine!!
I had the same thing and I also don't know why I did it
@anonymousgirll Did urs also feel like you had to stare like there was no other option but to stare at the part ur not supposed to look at?
@Shaodidi - uhm, mine wasn't during erp. I was just scrolling on facebook, saw a (normal!!) picture of a child and I zoomed in a little and looked at her chest for like not even second. like "accidentally"??? without thinking about it. I feel disgusting and it's been like 8 months ago. I more often zoom in on pictures, and look at things but nog at a child wth head 😭😭😭 but Ithink for you it's just feels like "this js something you can't look at" so you want to look or automatically look at it without wanting to really
@anonymousgirll Yeah I stare at it for a few seconds like it’s disturbing idk why I do that it’s still haunting me :(
@Shaodidi - same I honestly don't know how to get over the guilt, it bothers me so much and Istg I don't know why I did that!! I feel like it ruined my life :(
I was with my sister today. When I look at her, sex images pop up and I have to imagine them because in a second I feel very clearly like I like it. I ignored it the whole time but it feels real and I'm not calm.
TWTWTWTW so I was stocking at work and I saw this dude that looked 14-17 and thought he was kinda cute but also thought he looked familiar like a coworker or something and I was dwelling on it for a bit but didn't think too deeply of it. Anyway I looked up and he was standing right by my cart like against it cuz he was reaching for something and I thought something like "oh it's the dude". I moved my cart back to me realizing that it would brush against him in the process. I feel awful like I m*\ested him cuz I had like a groinal at the same time and I feel scared. Like it happened quickly but my brain is telling me it's because I wanted to do something to him or me and I immediately panicked when it happened
help. it all happened too very fast. i was having a random b*ner, and i wanted to stop it by forcing an er*ction so it would go down afterwards, i had also seen a yt short of cyberpunk 2077 phantom liberty, in which a beautiful redheaded character appears, and i had random thought abt how maybe she wouldn't be truly that pretty and it was just make up. i imagined a scenario in which i had an okay looking girlfriend but that would look very hot with make up on, and i thought that was the perfect scenario to release the b*ner by momentarily forcing an erection and as i did that i remembered a highschool crush i had of a girl older than me that i found very beautiful and i distinctly remember being excited to see her with make up on, and this memory associated immediately. it went like this -> imagine girlfriend that is beautiful with make up on as i prepare to have an er*ction -> this reminds me just like that time in highschool -> the positive memory of my crush appears as i force an er*ction to happen at the same time without thinking too much (this all happens in a span of a millisec) i don't know how but my brain didn't register that memory as a threat, i had forgotten the context, it didn't even cross my mind that it happened years ago in highschool, i just had this memory. now im worried that i committed a horrible disgusting act. the erection wasn't caused by the memory of the crush, i planned it to happen with a safe image and that image of the crush appeared as i remembered and it didn't register it as a threat and this just happened; because i don't believe i was aroused by the memory, i was just remember that she was pretty. i don't know if it was just coincidence. it wasn't intentional, but now im disgusted at myself. there are 3 possibilities: 1. i already had made the conscious decision to force an erection from the scenario before and as the memory appeared, as it all happened in a millisecond, i didn't have enough time to process it with its due context and i didnt perceive that memory as triggering or something inappropriate and for my brain it was okay to be in the background while the er*ction happened. 2. it happened in one second, the conscious decision was already made from the scenario before so the er*ction randomly happened during the remembrance 3. worst case: in the moment of the er*ction as i remembered the crush i put myself in those shoes of the young me and as the memory happened very fast i forgot the context and the distance of the period frame in which had happened (long ago) and since i remembered her being older than me i still perceived in that fragment of the memory that way, and since i was in the memory itself i found her attractive normally, indistinguishably and separated from the present time, and for that split second i perceived her normally as if i was attracted to a girl in my present time, it literally felt a "normal" perception of a girl i liked and i didn't realise it wasn't the case; and my mind since it lacked the necessary context it allowed it to be non dangerous and not wrong to force an erection, and i realised it was a mistake only after it happened hence the panic... so it all happened before processing the context of the time in which had happen that would result as inappropriate. im afraid that the 3. is what happened and that it is unacceptable.
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