Medication disappointment

Hello, I’ve struggled with OCD and a few other anxiety disorders for literally ever and I’ve wanted to get on medication for years because I felt it was the only way to fix me, to find relief from this hell that is in my brain. But so far I’ve tried 7 medications ! And none have worked, I always get to my second or third dose with zero positive changes and I almost always have a side effect I cannot bare to live with long term, so I get switched to another med and it happens again. I also struggle with really bad anxiety over taking medications, I’m terrified of serious side effects and withdrawals and overdoses etc. so it’s makes this journey so much harder! I’m planning on taking a break from medication for at least a little while, I want to live life without side effects and the fear that being on regular medication gives me, I’ve been sleep deprived for a few months straight because of a side effect of my current dose, like what the hell body! I’m just frustrated, I wanted this to work, and hey maybe it will in the future but not right now. And yeah, medication isn’t the holy grail and it won’t “fix me”, therapy and hard work will help me manage my mental illnesses, I’ve had improvements already without meds, I know that now, so it’s not the end of the world! Just a bit annoying! (Don’t let this scare you from trying medication, for a lot of people it works wonders !! And not everyone’s body is as stubborn as mine!)

emsisokay

Date posted: Yesterday

Actually same here. Medication #8 for me. Hoping that something sticks but I haven’t done dedicated ERP yet (I have never done it for more than 3 months straight)

FearIncarnate

Date posted: 21h

@emilyjohnson747 I really hope you have better luck with it as well !! I have heard meds work best in tandem with therapy, that definitely could be a factor.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

What medications have you tried ?

FearIncarnate

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous I don’t remember all the names, plus I don’t want to scare others off by mentioning the actual medication names in case they get prescribed them, but I’ve tried multiple SSRIs, a few low level antipsychotics, and a newer medication that is a blend of SSRI and SPARI. My psychiatrist is currently at the point where she’s looking at other medications that have off label use for anxiety and ocd because nothing on label has worked.

helminth

Date posted: Yesterday

I've only tried 1, what would you recommend I try next since Prozac didn't work for me? it worked for a bit and then randomly just stopped affecting me and everything came rushing back

FearIncarnate

Date posted: 21h

@helminth I really don’t know tbh, you’ll have to ask your doctor/psychiatrist. My psychiatrist’s approach was to try one med in every subgroup, and then she’d switch to a different type of medication. So like there’s subgroups under the “antidepressant” umbrella, she tried one or two meds in every subgroup and then she switched to low level antipsychotics because those have off label uses with OCD, and so on. She told me if one medication in a subgroup didn’t work, then the other similar medications were likely to also not work, so there wasn’t a point in staying in that subgroup.

avantika 🪻

Date posted: 22w

Rant...

I just feel like therapy isn’t working… like I get to talk about myself and understand myself… but I’m already incredibly self aware. My therapist thought I was like 5 years older than I am… and she gives me such basic strategies that do absolutely nothing for me. And a psychiatrist prescribed me with Zoloft… but I don’t know if T want to take medication. I’m scared of side effects… and I’m scared of getting better… I’m scared of letting my guard down. I know it will make me less cautious which makes me less likely to push myself to perfection like I currently do, which I can’t have happen. Every time I talk to my mom about it, she’s always like “Let’s talk about this some other time, I’m busy with other things”, and then never remembers. But in the rare moments we do talk about it, she treats it like I’m signing up to be a drug addict. I also feel very guilty for spending so much of my parents’ money- therapy… medication… etc… and also the idea of my being unlovable is so deeply engraved in my brain… I genuinely, truly believe it. No therapy or medication can fix it. I can’t change my mind. My therapist tells me my misophonia is not a “deal-breaker” and that someone would be lucky to have me as a partner… but then why hasn’t anyone ever liked me? My own FAMILY can’t stand me. How do I believe something I know isn’t true? That’s even harder to accept than me being unlovable. I can’t see someone loving me. And it is so incredibly exhausting to seek love,e I know I cannot have. My sister says, “It will get better with age…” It has only ever gotten worse. To the point I don’t want to get better. It has reached the severity where I feel more safe and successful with anxiety. My past 3 birthdays have been me wishing for therapy. And now I have therpay- and medication, the potential key… and I refuse? Am I too deep in? I cant get out, it’s too late. How did absolutely no one notice how much I had and have been hurting? Why did no one listen to my cries or worries? I feel really depressed and hopeless right now. It takes so much effort to get up every day… I’m so tired.

baukje

Date posted: 20w

Obsessing about… medication

I am having an appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon and I am obsessing about what to do with my medication. I think it’s also very ocd like obsessing. I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine. Ive been on this for years (because of insomnia, anxiety and depression) (15mg) and after we tried to switch to another (amitryptiline) because of nerve pain, I went down the road of insomnia and later on ocd again. So I am back on mirtazapine, and weaning off of the amitryptiline. This is/was a very traumatic experience. Because the switch caused a mental breakdown. Now my psychiatrist has mentioned to up the mirtazapine to 45mg. And my obsessive self has done a lot of research and a lot is saying that the higher the dose, the more you can experience anxiety. And for ocd it’s obviously not the first choice. I am obsessing all morning about it. I am too scared to go up. But I am also too scared to try another and to wean myself of off mirtazapine. I feel stuck at this point. Taking two meds is also not something I want. I could really use some words of encouragement right now I think. 🥹

FLL

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25d

Day 7 back on medication

Day 7 of being back on medication! It’s so rough… I can’t even remember the last time I felt this way. I started taking it back in 2017 for the first time and it worked. For the years to follow up until now I’ve had my moments where OCD has come back but not as strong and sticky as when now that I wasn’t on medication. Today is day 7 and I am feeling discouraged because I wanted to feel better already and i am till having anxiety attacks, the thoughts are racing and I can’t sleep well. I’m not hungry The reason why I stopped my medication 5 months ago is because I got pregnant but I regret it so much. Please send words of encouragement if you have experienced anything like this and medicine worked again for you. I’m 21 weeks pregnant

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Medication disappointment

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