How to start living?

This is a question that I've been pondering since... ever. I feel like I've wasted so many years being controlled by fear + perfection. I know that to start living, I just have to do it, but why do I keep holding myself back? I choose comfort every single time. I choose waiting for the perfect moment, when the perfect moment SHOULD be NOW. There's so much I want to do in life, so many things I've wanted to be. When I was little, I wanted to be a princess, then a pop star, and after that, a zookeeper. But as I grew older, I didn't feel a connection to any sort of career or subject. There were things I enjoyed, but it was never anything I wanted to make a career out of, and I remember always feeling behind... But this past year or so, I've discovered so much about myself ever since being diagnosed with OCD. I have pushed myself to try so many new things, and I feel ready to get my life in order. I just don't know where to begin? And I'm stuck in this cycle of making excuses for myself. "I'll do (xyz) later," and then I never get to it. "I can't do (xyz) because blah blah blah—" but if I really, really wanted something, wouldn't I do anything I could to accomplish it? I just feel stagnant. I set so many unnecessary and impossible requirements for myself when trying to start or get anything done. I want to preserve nature and its inhabitants, but also historical artifacts (and history as a whole). I want to help humanity and to make the world a better place in all the ways I can. But I overwhelm myself in the process. It's always too much or too little with me :( Sorry for ranting. I guess, does anyone older have any advice to stop holding myself back? I know I'm young, but I feel restless. I want to be doing more than I am.

Bmwlover47

Date posted: 6w

I’ve found it’s much easier to tackle one small thing at a time and the big things will come naturally. For me simple things such as cleaning my room, putting the clothes in the basket were hard. The bigger stuff takes time and needs to be worked towards. As they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

nae nae

Date posted: 6w

That's true... I struggle with simple things like that, too. I guess I need to focus on small things like that first, or at least make a list to break everything down into smaller tasks. Thank you for the advice. I'll try to work on that 🤍

chase2120362841

Date posted: 6w

I don’t want to push any boundaries, make you uncomfortable(let me know if I am), or diagnose you. But this sounds like it could be depression, disguised as “I’m holding myself back”. I’m struggling with the same thing being off my depression medication.

nae nae

Date posted: 6w

You're not making me uncomfortable at all. Don't worry :) I have struggled with depression in the past, so there is always the possibility. Although, in this case, I don't necessarily feel "depressed." At least, not how I did in the past. I'm just frustrated that I have aspirations, but not the drive to fulfill them. I might talk to my psychiatrist about it. I have an appointment coming up in a couple of days, so we'll see... Thank you for mentioning that, though. I hadn't even thought of that being the culprit until you mentioned it. And I'm really sorry that you're currently struggling with the same thing. I hope we're both able to overcome this 🫂

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