Is any level of sharing OCD w/ wife okay?

OCD can feel so isolating. I understand the need to stop compulsions and not constantly confess. But I find that this has been an extremely lonely process. I’ve been dealing with OCD for several years now and I find that keeping it all to myself feels so “irresponsible”. This is especially true with real event or false memory OCD where I feel like I could have done something wrong but I’m not sure. Many times it feels like I could be hiding something… which triggers the downward spiral of “what ifs”. That being said, when I do share bits and pieces of what I’m dealing with, it may satisfy for a time, but it always comes back. The uncertainty lingers and pain returns. So what to do? Keep it bottled up?? I’m only human and I don’t have a ton of family/friend support right now…my wife is my best friend and the only person I truly rely on. I feel like I’ve let her down. I feel like a failure. On top of that, OCD can make me feel like I’ve harmed those around me. Pls help with your experiences/ thoughts.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

I'm not sure the right move here but I'll share what I do incase it's helpful. I share my experience of having ocd with my partner but never the intrusive thoughts. I'll tell them when im having a hard time and to what degree. I've shared what type of support is helpful (encouraging me to sit in the distress & to do my erp homework, see if I need a distraction), and what's not helpful (reassurance, trying to "fix" the distress, or allowing me to avoid responsibilities due to thoughts or compulsions). I'll share when I'm doing mental compulsions sometimes for accountability but never what the thoughts are. We both understand that sharing the thoughts come with a high risk of more compulsions. And they know that if I start switching up on these things that the ocd is getting bad and I need to seek more help. Try to think of more ways your wife could support you without sharing the thoughts or trying to reduce the distress. And consider how ocd might try to play off your feelings of isolation & what thought spirals it might produce.

Tony0805

Date posted: 2d

@Anonymous Thank you! Do you find that it is ever helpful to share things like “I really don’t think xyz happened…but I can’t be 100% certain”, or is that basically just a compulsion? I think I know the answer but it’s helpful to hear it from someone with a similar experience…

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

@Tony0805 I don't. If sharing something might make me feel better I assume its a compulsion. I still struggle with compulsions but I refuse to get my partner involved in them. I think its a very good sign that you likely already knew the answer! You got this. It's incredibly painful to sit with the uncertainty but just take it one minute at a time. Find a healthy distraction if need be.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

I feel like my wife was never more supportive than when I told her I was going to seek help for this thing that I’ve struggled with for so many years.

Tony0805

Date posted: 2d

My wife knows I have OCD and supports me in seeking help but I try to not share details. The thoughts are muddy and convoluted to even myself so I don’t think she’d be of much help…but there is still the urge to share everything…just for a sense of relief

marcellololo

Date posted: 2d

When you start to feel like a failure or letting someone down, look at it from a a different perspective. Pretend you're a judge and a lawyer in court. Bring up the feeling of being a failure or letting someone down. Now remember it's court, so "It's not what you say, it's what you can prove" is there any hard evidence to support theses claims of failure and letting down?! If not then the "CASE" will be excused and no reason to have a trial. Perspective

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