I’m so confused

This is so humilating and vulnerable but I will sometimes see a photo of a women and get aroused it goes to my bean lmao. When I’m with my boyfriend I feel more of a heartbeat where he enters and a strong desire like I need it. Are they both true? It bothers me I feel like I’m so weird. I hate it I can accept me being attracted to women but I don’t desire to do anything with them. I feel I fucked up my brain receptors bc I used to watch 🌽 and it started at the age of 8 and barely ended at the age of 18💔💔 I was confused I didn’t know I wish I never touched it. I feel idk what true arousal feels like. The thing that confuses me is the feeling I get when I see women is the same feeling when I have a dream. I don’t like it. With my boyfriend it’s a need a desire. With women I feel grossed out that I even feel like that. Idk why it’s like this I feel that watching from such a young age really messed me up and I focus so much on feeling arousal w my bf i feel I don’t let myself actually get to there. When I’m in the act it feels good and I enjoy it a lot . I just hate that this happens to me I want to be normal I want to get turned on by just kissing him but I can’t I. Only get rly aroused when we are doing something we shouldn’t be like doing stuff in public. I fear I feel this way abt women bc ik it’s wrong and I feel that way about a lot of things like a lot I don’t like it. I can get turned on by making my sims woohoo but I can’t when my bf kisses my thighs im so sad I want to normal I fucked myself up so bad. Does anyone else relate? This is so embarrassing omg I js need to know if anyone is similar bc this is my main trigger my main issue and it tortures me. Ik im not romantically attracted to women but the sexual part rly bothers me I SONT WANT THAT😭💔💔 pls don’t tell me im gay I’ll cry. Also can focusing on arousal be a part of somatic ocd? I’m wondering bc ik it focuses on what the body feels. Idk I just need to know what’s wrong w me seriously

kissie

Date posted: Yesterday

i was introduced to (and got "addicted" to) 🌽 at a similarly way-too-early age ... super hardcore stuff too. it filled me with tons of fear and really rocketed my moral ocd, to the point that even some days right now i'll freak out over if i'm turned on in the "right/wrong" way with my bf. the best advice i can give is to try and just let the feelings exist.. and how you feel looking at women doesn't HAVE to mean anything at all if you don't want it to, especially if you're not going to try anything with another woman anyway. have you looked into kinks with your boyfriend? a very big percentage of people get turned on by all sorts of sex that isn't vanilla, and that's completely ok. maybe approaching your physical reactions with curiosity would help? i hope you feel less alone 🫂🫂

Frog princess

Date posted: Yesterday

@kissie Thank you so much I rly appreciate this🥲

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

I know exactly how you feel, I fixed myself. I’m 30 now and yes it took me this long but I had zero resources lol here’s what I did, very very long for play, get a toy, make out and don’t do anything until you are very ready, it’ll happen. You might feel like you need to think of stuff to get going, don’t. Stop it each time, this being a long process is key. Continue this for a while and I promise you it works. My mind never wonders anymore, I’m able to be so in the moment and am more turned on than ever.

Frog princess

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Thank you for your advice🥹

🏔️

Date posted: Yesterday

I can relate to this I felt this when I would look at a women’s picture one day I was just on Facebook not doing anything when it happened wasn’t expecting it or anything which scared me I believe I still doubt myself on that part but I’m not ok with being gay by any means it’s not what I want I still struggle with this don’t get me wrong and I pray all the time for God to help me to see that I’m not attracted to women romantically or sexually but what really bothers me is the feeling down there it does make u wonder if ur lying or whatever because u see a women’s body that’s looks great which makes u think that kinda thing but u struggle to do that with men in my case which really hurts because I love my husband with all of my heart I got it in my mind a long time ago that it HAD to be the abs or something which is hard to break out of idk if I have OCD but I enjoy this app because I have ppl that relates

🏔️

Date posted: Yesterday

@🏔️ I was also highly addicted to 🌽 a very young age even before I seen 🌽 I was doing things

Frog princess

Date posted: Yesterday

@🏔️ Yes exactly! I’m sorry you go through this you’re not alone and don’t be afraid to get the help you need. I pray all the time too for clarity it’s really hard dealing with this stuff when you know you’re with someone you love and desire but your body won’t let you reciprocate it’s truly hard to deal with.

Frog princess

Date posted: Yesterday

@🏔️ Omg me too it really messes with you especially since all my experiences were with female relatives or neighbors when I was younger it makes you question a lot

🏔️

Date posted: Yesterday

@Frog princess I’ve never had any experiences with females now I’ve done some stupid things but I’ve always been attracted to guys even as a child I wanted to be with guys sexually and romantically but yea it does really make u question everything it such because u want to go back to a time where it wasn’t happening…

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