Worried ill develop a crush + groinal response

I have a friend and she reads as rather masculine and queer, for some reason that sets my brain off and I get groinal responses around her. Responses I do not want (at least I’m pretty sure I don’t. I’m worried I’m repressing smthn but I don’t think I am) We aren’t close but we follow each other and talk every now and then when she’s around. It’s making me worried that the more we talk I could develop a false attraction to her and that makes me anxious and gives me a groinal response. It doesn’t feel like an anxiety response tho and it’s freaking me out. Is that a normal ocd fear? Worrying you’ll develop a crush on a friend or smthn? Idk why I’m worried I’m worried about the same thing with a different friend who i barely talk to anymore. What if we start talking more and I see her in person and smthn changes. Idk im scared. My second anniversary with my bf is coming up and im really excited and I don’t wanna guck this up. But im worried I don’t love him and I’m worried what im planning isn’t genuine cuz I don’t feel butterflies

j vv

Date posted: 6d

Ugh ROCD and SOOCD are such a rough combo. I know from experience! In therapy, it was helpful to identify the underlying fears for me, then to build ERP around that. This involved a lot of written scripts to read aloud, then sitting with the discomfort. It also involved a lot of NER statements work throughout the day (non-engagement responses) to fears about my sexuality or relationships changing. What also helped was doing my best to deeply accept reality. Something that helped things click for me was that there are BILLIONS of humans on earth, and that means billions of attractive people on it. The odds are high that I might find at least some of them attractive 😂 In fact, that is my brain’s job, sending thoughts about interesting things to pay attention to. I can’t be mad if some of those thoughts are intrusive or unwanted—I can simply choose to enjoy pleasant thoughts and let other thoughts float away. It taught me to appreciate beauty without assigning a bunch of unhelpful labels and pressure. I can acknowledge beauty without it resulting in an identity crisis! That being said, it was a very painful journey to get here. I don’t think I would wish ROCD+SOOCD combo on my worst enemy 🤣 So just know…if you are struggling with this you are very strong for putting up with it! 🫂

LiaExe28

Date posted: 2d

@j vv Thank you :D this is quite helpful honestly. I hate the groinal responses so much. It’s probably the worst part for me lol. It really sends me into a spin some days

j vv

Date posted: Yesterday

@LiaExe28 Groinal responses were tough for me too! It really helped to learn in therapy that groinal responses have very little correlation or meaning — it can just randomly happen. This meant that I could simply enjoy the little feeling down there without assigning any serious stakes to it. Like “oh, that felt weird. Oh well” instead of “oh no! I felt something down there! Was it because I looked at the toaster?? Am I attracted to toasters?? 😱😂” Letting groinal responses happen and then thinking little to nothing about them have helped me be so much happier. There’s more interesting things happening in my life than worrying about a little tingle down there every now and again lol

ycftlad06

Date posted: 6d

i’m going thru something similar. i feel obsessed with another person and it won’t go away. i only want my bf but this is scary. i keep thinking “what if this is a crush” but we have to remember ocd makes things like simple attraction to someone into something intense yk?

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