Anyone on abilify (Aripiprazole)?

@NODA💕 I started Zoloft at 50mg. It was after Prozac basically only made my anxiety worse and ocd worse. I was sleep deprived and extremely dehydrated, cold, and dizzy. I had paranoid ideation and needed to go to the ER to see what they could do for me. I felt so out of it I almost asked the psychiatrist there to have me taken to a psych ward. The entire world felt foggy. And wrong. Abilify doesn’t work for everyone but for me it’s worked miracles. Would say the OCD is 90-95% gone. The other 5-10% is my own stupidity and split ups but with the abilify they are easier to bounce back from. If I do ruminate it feels weaker and boring and doesn’t spiral into borderline delusions.

@anabanana1 Thank you for replying, Ana. I started very slowly with Zoloft. 25mg. And now after 3 years I am at 350mg. I understand that the max recommend dosage for Sertraline /Zoloft is 200mg, but I begged and begged my psychiatrist to slowly but steadily increase. I had to sign a document saying that I initiated it, understand all that could go wrong and that I take all the responsibility for whatever happens. I also have Magical thinking OCD, to be precise Though and emotional contamination OCD, which is based on Magical thinking OCD. I know every type of OCD is hard and exhausting, but Magical thinking is super hard. It makes connections with weird things (triggers out of nothing), blames everything on illogical causes, obsessions, compulsions and consequences. Eg. If I eat olives today, my partner will out of nowhere pick up a fight with me in the next days. . Or my doctor won't be willing to take me seriously and do what's best for me. And these are just the most innocent examples. In the beginning I was prescribed 25 mg Zoft and a low dose of Abilify. I was so scared to take Abilify, because with my then non existing self respect and with feeling worthless, I didn't want to take an anti psychotic medicine, because I believed THEN that if I take it I would be labeled as psychotic and it was just too much for me to accept. My then psychiatrist didn't belive that what I was expecting was solely OCD, she had never heard of Magical thinking OCD, or even that there were any types or subtypes of it, so she sort of implied that Abilify would help incase I was delusional.... I never took Abilify. But I did take a very low dose of another anti psychotic occasionally to help me sleep, but I had serious problems waking up next day. I also went through months of sleepless nights, gained a lot of weight in half a year, got Diabetes 2, high blood pressure, felt like I was not myself, like in a fog,... from 25 mg until 200mg. Losing weight was crazy hard. From 200mg on it is for me like Abilify is for you. I still have trouble sleeping from time to time, but what worries me more is that I find it difficult to to concentrate and keep forgetting things, words,... It all started when I was 11 years old, approximately at the same time when I developed OCD. From a child who was excellent student and was even encouraged to skip a year (I didn't, my parents did not approve of it) to a teenager who could look at a page for hours and remember nothing what they had read in a wink of an eye almost. My high school and University were a nightmare for me. I was still doing well in high school and later, but I had to study all nights long and go to school exhausted day after day. I wish I knew if OCD is to blame for it or am I being threatened by dementia. The last one scares me to death. I used to read a book in no time, now it takes me months. Crazy. Could you give me an example of a borderline delusion? I sometimes don't understand whether my emotions are valid or obsessions. How to know what is real and what a delusion? Thank you for taking the time to answer. I appreciate it. I hope you are doing well and that you have all the support that you need. Have a nice day.

@NODA💕 Well, first of all I’m so sorry about everything that you have been through, the OCD that I struggled with, also had elements of magical thinking and it is very exhausting. It’s still something that I occasionally struggle with the difference is that the anxiety that comes with it does not stick around anymore. I would say it’s something that happens maybe 5% of the time. The way that I would describe a “borderline delusion” is when a delusional idea or thought feels so real emotionally and mentally that it’s hard to ignore and not remade on. Part of the reason why I had paranoid ideation is because I would have intrusive thoughts about how the people around me were hallucinations and how the people around me were potentially not human. That was the degree of the OCD that I was struggling with. I would sometimes stare at people to make sure that they were not turning into monsters in front of me, and I would anticipate it. That’s what I would call a borderline delusion. It doesn’t come with hallucinations or hearing voices, which I know is common in people with actual psychotic disorders. And even part of you is horrified by the idea that the thought might be true. That’s the best way to describe it personally. As far as your hesitance to take Abilify: I think taking it instead of the antipsychotic that you did take would’ve been a better option for your health in the long-term. Because Abilify is considered one of the more weight neutral antipsychotic medications. My experience with Abilify has been surprisingly positive. I don’t have intense ruminations anymore. I can actually focus on other things and I would not say I have gained any weight. But then again, I exercise a lot. I do close to two hours of walking every single day. Sometimes more than that. But I know I won’t always have time to do this so I’ve been trying to look at my diet and take care of that too. I’m sorry that you went through so much trying to figure out what could help with your OCD. But if you are genuinely starting to wonder what the difference is between a delusional thought and reality I think now would be the time for you to consider Abilify. Unlike regular antipsychotics that completely shut down your dopamine levels it instead act like a fine tuner to help you raise dopamine level levels in areas of your brain where it is too low and lower it in areas where it is too high so basically the areas that your magical thinking is coming from. As I’ve said everyone’s experiences with medication is different. Maybe Abilify will not work for you. Maybe you have a “brain type” that just does not do well with antipsychotic medication just like how mine doesn’t really like antidepressants. But when it comes to OCD, we gotta hit it with everything but the kitchen sink. As far as how you can tell what is real and what isn’t. That is definitely a concerning question I would say if you haven’t already definitely join a support group like intensive outpatient for OCD so you can discuss this because constantly reality checking gets to be exhausting. But for what it’s worth: I’m a real person replying to you and I understand what you went through. We are on planet Earth right now and we’re all people struggling with our own crap. I hope you find a path of healing.