Thoughts that my baby has switched at birth😥😰😰

Persistent intrusive thoughts that my child could have been switched at the hospital. I don't know where it started, this thought suddenly came into my head, in detail: how they come to my house, tell me this, take my child away and give me another one. My heart starts racing. I sometimes can't even look at my daughter without crying, and she becomes a strong trigger. She's my copy, looks very much like me, and all the tags from the birth had my name on them, everything is correct, but I get very stressed, obsess, and worry. I've been suffering from OCD for a long time. This thought is one of the worst in my life. Right now, I don't have the means to go to a good psychotherapist, and I don't know how to cope. Before, I visited different ones; it would get better for a while, but then the thoughts could come back. I don't want to take antidepressants because I am 20 weeks pregnant. How can I calm and convince my brain?

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

This is a tough one. Because it’s ocd I wouldn’t want to encourage you to seek reassurance. Though I can’t imagine how hard it is to say to yourself “maybe they’ll come and take my baby away, maybe they won’t.” I am NOT a therapist and just started erp therapy myself. One thing I will say is that you can’t convince the ocd brain shit. I think a major thing we have to do is actually stop trying to convince ourselves; focus on loving your baby as much as you can and hopefully you have people you trust who you can speak with about this. I have never had a baby so I don’t feel the most equipped to speak on this subject but I saw your comment and wanted you to get a response. From what I have heard, as horrible as it is what you’re going through you are not the only postpartum mother who struggles with debilitating fears like this. I wonder if there is a postpartum chat you could enter on here somewhere? I pray and hope for the continued health and thriving of your beautiful baby and your next one to come! Also - do you have health insurance? If so you may get therapy at least partially covered. If you don’t, it can still get better. Blessings!

tortuga017

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Thank you so much for your reply. I haven't come across a group like that yet, but I would really love to. Sometimes it feels like I'm alone in this, that I'll never be able to handle this particular thought. This thought was actually why I suddenly went to stay with my mom abroad; she was aware of these thoughts, and so was my husband. It's all connected to the child. The pain was unbearable, you have no idea. Those thoughts subsided, but then they suddenly came rushing back because, for some reason, when I saw the child's blood type listed as A negative in the records (while mine is A positive), I started googling whether that was possible and drove myself down that rabbit hole all over again. I really hope this passes. I do have insurance, but I'm worried that doctors in my area aren't very familiar with OCD and might inadvertently make things worse or just immediately put me on antidepressants. I wish you a swift recovery from this awful disorder as well ❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: 47m

@tortuga017 Maybe you could try therapy here on nocd?

tortuga017

Date posted: 17m

@Anonymous With therapist?

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