Guys, I'm not feeling well.

This is my biggest fear/theme! Everything I fear revolves around this. It is so so so exhausting. I feel you about the social media thing too. I don't even like to see the word because it scares me, so if I see it on social media I'll just scroll past it or get off entirely. So in a way this post is a good exposure for me because usually I would just see this and go "nope!" But I want to connect with you since you're the only other person I've seen with the same fear. I also have very intense "images" of what would happen if I had it or how my life would fall apart. One thing my therapist and I talked about the other day was that if I really did have psychosis or something, I wouldn't even know it. I would be delusional to the point of not even knowing it was happening. So THEREFORE, the fact that I am having thoughts of "What if this is psychosis, what if this is a psychological break" PROVES that I don't have it, because people with psychosis don't even question what they're experiencing because they're delusional. I hope that makes sense. It's like if you were to ask yourself out loud "Am I mute?" Well, you just used your voice to ask that out loud, so that proves you aren't mute lol I think it's such a fear of mine because I want to be in control, and that is like the complete opposite of having control. It just sounds awful, because it is. And I feel so bad for the people that have it and that I'm essentially saying "Being like you is my biggest fear." But it's just something that does not leave my mind. I also think that it doesn't help that OCD can already make you feel so overwhelmed and anxious and confused, leading you to feeling like you're "out of control" and further fueling the fear altogether. Unfortunately I don't have any other advice because I haven't been able to kick the fear myself, but it's good to know that I'm not alone. It sucks to know someone else is living with this too, but hopefully we can both figure it out ❤️

First of all, what a beautiful name! Second of all, it seems like you're really overstimulated at the moment :c 🩵 I'm sorry you're feeling worked up. I also struggled with worrying about being a "violent" or "dangerous" person, but something important a therapist taught me was that truly bad people don't worry if they're bad people or not. The idea of hurting others doesn't keep them awake at night or make them cry. The fact that the idea of hurting others is such a terrible concept to you that it's making you sick is proof you're one of the least likely people to do so. OCD operates on our deepest fears- fears that are SO deep, our brains get stuck in "Crisis, run away!" mode. So try your best to remove overstimulating and triggering content from your sphere, and gently tell your brain "No, it's okay, we're not in a crisis. Be still." 🩵 It might take time, but it will pass.

Im sorry you’re struggling with that. OCD can be so confusing and the intrusive thoughts can make you feel disconnected from reality and like you have Psychosis even if you don’t. I actually used to feel like this a lot and thought I had other disorders or psychosis as well as OCD. During the 2020 lockdown my intrusive thoughts revolved around food and cleanliness and it got to the point where I was scared to eat most days and the fact that I was so confused about what was happening in my brain really stressed me out too. The only thing that eventually helped was ERP and keeping myself on a healthy schedule with hobbies, school and work. I have gotten so much better and it is SO much easier to manage. ERP can be SO difficult but it works and it has completely changed my life. You got this! anytime you have those thoughts or feel triggered by the videos on social media try to sit with that anxiety until you start to feel calm and okay again and it will start feeling easier each time.

This used to bother me too! I'm not 100% sure what category it falls under. But, honestly, it's all the same. OCD is just the same shit in a different font. And the answer is always the same. ERP. Maybe you will experience a psychotic episode, maybe you won't. You can't tell the future unfortunately. I'm sorry if that makes you anxious, but you gotta learn to sit with the anxiety, the uncertainty. You can handle the uncertainty. You can sit through that fear. Don't try to tell yourself how illogical it is or anything, don't reassure yourself. Just let the thoughts come and go. Fighting them will only make it worse. Embrace the possibility, cuz even if you did have a psychotic episode, you could survive that too. And everytime your brain tried to tell you that you can't handle the anxiety this causes, think about it like this. You're already handling the anxiety. You're already dealing with the uncertainty, and absolutely nothing is happening other than you being anxious. I hope that helps

i've been through a psychotic episode before, and it's definitely scary; and absolutely possible with ocd. but the main thing to remember is that it, too, is temporary, and with a good support system and proper resources can be combated just as well as anything else! everything is temporary, ykwim?