I hate rocd

I remembered I think I went on Instagram sometime last year and I looked up the account of this guy from highschool that I embarrassingly liked in my senior year and made a fool of myself (graduated 3 years ago) and I think I was wondering if him and his girlfriend were still together because I remembered he used to mention her in class and I’d see them walk together and such and we were sort of acquaintances I guess and I think remembered an embarrassing memory from high school i dont know why but I think i would get memories and such sometimes and I’d wonder and then I’d be like “Hmm let me check” which my ocd attached to and was like “What if you did this out of unloyal intent?” Or what if you’re lying to yourself? What if you said something wrong or flirty or unloyal?” And I started spiraling. I’m pretty sure I got curious and checked when my fiancé and I had just started dating but I know I’m a curious person so I know it was just out of curiosity, because I’d never ever want to intentionally hurt or upset my fiancé because I love him so much. I also remembered an instance where my fiancé and I went to a car show with his friends and I always hate seeing people I graduated with from high-school, it was embarrassing or weird to me because they knew how I was in high-school, but I saw him there, and I just kept glancing over to see where he was I guess because I saw at some points he’d glance over at me and stuff. And id see him and his friends laugh so I dont know I felt sort of anxious when I’d see him and I remembered I’d do my best to avoid them because I could just feel the anxiety in my body, and I was embarrassed since my highschool self really embarrasses me when I think of how desperate I was for attention and now my anxiety and OCD attached to it and is trying to convince me my actions were for other reasons and I’m panicking about it, it’s making me feel like I cheated or I was disrespectful to my relationship. And recently my fiancé and I went to this same car show again where I saw that guy at previously and when we were walking around someone near us who looked like him I remembered I was glancing at the cars and I saw that person and I felt like a pang of anxiety in my chest and just this anxious feeling in my stomach it was like my stomach dropped. My ocd has latched onto it and is like “What if you wanted to see him?” And so on, I tried telling myself later “No stop putting lies in my head” and such but just so many other intrusive thoughts came after. I hate this ocd so much and I just I’d never ever want to upset my fiancé he is my world and more and just I get so upset that he also has to deal with all these things in my head :( I also deal with compulsive staring which makes this so much worse especially when I’m triggered because it causes me to basically continuously stare at the person or object that triggered me and it’s like my brain forces me to look it’s so annoying, and then my ocd latched onto that and tells me it “means something” I hate this ocd so much ugh I just want to get rid of it :(