Vasovagal Syncope?

@done w/it Also wanted to add that vasovagal syncope/ symptoms of Dysautonomia have gone hand in hand for me and many others with OCD or related anxiety disorders. It seems Regular cardio and eating an anti-inflammatory diet along with meditation/prayer using guided tools & exercises from therapy here with NOCD and a 12 step program (OCA) I do on the side for OCD has drastically reduced these physical anxiety symptoms that were completely unmanageable for me a year ago. Others I know with dysautonomia symptoms/vasovagal syncope have benefited greatly from the three-fold combo of exercise, low inflammation diet, and guided meditation/prayer.

@done w/it thank you very much!

@Amy06 Yes oh my gosh, the scrupulosity makes it 1000x worse. thank you for your reply. i'm so sorry you're dealing with this too. what have you done to try and improve? it's just crazy because all day yesterday i felt like that, and then he came over last night and the moment i saw him i just couldn't imagine being without him ever. he is such a warm light and i can't lose him. and then we had the best time together. it's the most confusing them imaginable. would you want to talk about this with me more? i have never gotten to have a real conversation with someone who experiences the same themes as me before. i'd really like to

@Amy06 because i'd like to ask you how it impacts other areas of your life too. like for me it causes me to be avoidant of my friends and family for specific reasons but a lot of it has to do with comparison fueled by perfectionism, shame, and scrupulosity

@Amy06 also does it ever make you sad when y'all do things that make y'all you as a couple? like creating a new inside joke or seeing something that reminds you of him? it's like i see those things and experience them as if id lose it and how bad it would hurt if it was gone, instead of just being able to love it for making us US.

@lostmyswag Okay so I’ll start with your question about what I’ve done to improve, to be honest it’s extremely hard to do anything to improve by myself. I know I need therapy badly but my current insurance will not cover ERP or any OCD therapy for that matter. While I’ve been waiting I’ve been trying a few things myself that have helped a little! The first thing is trying to just sit through the waves of anxiety and the thoughts that cause it without arguing with them or analyzing them. If you fight with the thoughts or try to make a big decision (like breaking up with your boyfriend) while in that OCD state it will only make you more anxious and cause you to spiral. Even though it hurts to just sit there and let it pass (I know it hurts) it starves the OCD monster in your head. Another thing I’ve tried is redirecting when a thought/ the anxiety happens. Instead of doing my compulsions, I try to delay them and do something else as I try to let the feeling pass. It’s extremely hard to resist doing the compulsions because I know it feels like you HAVE to figure everything out right now or there will be terrible consequences. But that’s not true, your OCD just wants certainty. Every time you try to delay or not do the compulsions it teaches your brain that you will be okay if you don’t do the compulsions. The last thing I’ve tried is mindfulness. That means simply being aware of the thoughts and feelings without judging what they may mean about my relationship, myself or my salvation. An example of this is if I get a thought like “if you don’t leave your fiancé you’re going to hell” and the anxiety skyrockets, I simply say to myself. “Oh, there’s that thought again. And there’s the anxiety that comes with it. I don’t have to solve it right now.” And just take some deep breaths. Also reminding myself of scripture that doesn’t fuel my scrupulousity. Verses about Gods love for us, His grace and His faithfulness.

@lostmyswag I’ll answer your question about how it’s affected my life next. This one is definitely a hard one. It is probably the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. My OCD attacks my fiancé for an issue he was born with and cannot control. This issue also means he is sterile and we are unable to have biological children together. And on top of all of this my OCD says I’m going to hell for loving him and for having to go a different route to have children. It convinces me that if it is a sin, God will not forgive me. That I’m “lying” to myself. That our future children will hate us for not doing things the “perfect” way. My OCD takes real grief and feeds off of it, turning it into a terrible mega theme that has caused me to incessantly google, talk to Chat GPT, pray to God for forgiveness and answers, and worst of all badger my fiancé about said issue to try and ease the anxiety. My compulsions have ruined my life in multiple ways. It’s all I can think about, it wakes me up in the middle of the night and gives me constant panic attacks and crying spells. It gives me nightmares and it’s really put a strain on our relationship and it’s affected his self image. It’s affected all aspects of my life. It’s caused avoidance from intimacy (both emotional and physical) and I’ve lost hours, even whole days to compulsions and rumination. It’s caused avoidance of the bible because I’m terrified it will trigger me. If I can’t follow every rule in the bible my brain convinces me I’m going against God’s will and will be going to hell. I’ve asked my parents for reassurance and they’re confused and upset too. I’ve almost broken up with my fiancé multiple times in OCD attacks and have backed myself into a corner so many times. My OCD has caused me to compare my fiancé to men who don’t have his problem, trying to figure out if I’d like being with them better. I’m exhausted from dealing with the constant stress. It’s made me see my fiancé in a way I never wanted to see him. The worst part of all of it is the immense shame and guilt, the feeling of wanting these feelings to just go away but they never do, the way it’s made me fear God and the way it’s affected my poor fiancé. My OCD stems from an intense fear of not being perfect and not having the “perfect” or sinless life. And on top of everything else, my brain uses these terrible feelings and thoughts as proof that God really does disapprove of my relationship and it is the “wrong” one. It’s made me feel a sense of deep hopelessness I haven’t felt before in my life.

@lostmyswag And to your last question, yes. It makes me incredibly sad when we do things that make us us. I’ve had the inside joke one, and also having shared interests. I always think about how much I love the unique things about us and then think about how devastated I would be to lose him. And that starts a spiral about how much I love him but how it’s somehow “wrong” or “sinful” to love him. It’s like everytime I feel normal and happy with him, I look at him and feel so much love, the OCD cloud of shame sinks down on me again and the tightness returns to my chest. It truly is terrible and makes you feel like you can’t enjoy anything about your relationship anymore, even though it’s just that the anxiety and fear is covering up the love that’s still there. I’m not sure if you can specifically relate to my themes, but the root fears are the same and the compulsions are just as painful. I hope my story could help you in some capacity ❤️