First major episode

Curious to see how other’s first major episode started and how it stacked up to mine, so feel free to share yours. So I’ve always had OCD and knew it but it was very mild and manageable, things like checking, mild contamination, etc. those didn’t really bother me and they were more so annoying if anything. A couple months ago I sent an email, yes an email, that’s what kicked off this major severe episode. I don’t wanna get too into the content of the fear but it was related to false memory POCD. When I hit send on some random email my brain immediately catastrophized. “What if this terrible thing happened and you forgot?” -> catastrophe -> catastrophe -> catastrophe, you get the point. My brain jumped from “yippie let me send this email 😊” to “your life is f****d 😈” in .1 seconds, my mood has literally not been the same since then, except for a brief moment at the theme switch. As an OCD newbie I was like ok I have to get to the bottom of this and start doing research, a lot of research, from google to ChatGPT to whatever else. A couple months go by and something snaps in my brain and it goes “wait…that’s literally not you, you would never ever do such a thing” and I get PEACE. For about 2ish days I am regular me again and my vibrant personality is back, even people close to me thought I was back. BOY I was very wrong. That spiral was mild compared to what was coming. One night, about 2 days after the previous spiral ended, I was laying bed and my brain went “so you thought I was done didn’t you, well guess what I’m NOT! You remember how you used AI and googled things related to your false memory POCD? Yeah so you’re gonna get falsely reported and arrested for what you put into those and someone’s gonna think you actually did that!” Sheer panic ensues, the last one wasn’t as bad because I could tell myself you would never do such a thing, this one no I actually asked sketchy questions during my compulsive research some without the context that it was all OCD. My brain latched onto something that is like gas on fire for OCD, sheer impossible uncertainty unless the catastrophe comes true. This is the worst anxiety and sheer fear I’ve ever felt in my life. Basic tasks feel like moving mountains, cognitive ability I feel like I’m in elementary school, the fear has completely hijacked my brain. Now here we are several weeks into this new terrifying theme. I share this in hope that someone can see my ups and downs and learn from me. Do not fall into your compulsions and certainly do not use AI. I probably would’ve still figured out it was no big deal without the AI, which would’ve not created a new obsession. If you’re comfortable feel free to share the map of your current spiral below.